Perhaps the highlight of college sporting events, the annual Harvard/Yale football game takes place this Saturday at Harvard Stadium in Boston. As the front pages of both school papers’ opinion columns announce, tensions are already rising in the form of snappy op-eds. (Have you heard, for instance, that Harvard killed the dinosaurs?)
For the past few years, Harvard comedy group “On Harvard Time” has released burn videos mocking the school’s arch-rival and seeding fear into the hearts of Yalies right before the great game. They’re usually pretty funny. This year, though, Yale has decided to retaliate with a viral challenge of its own, in a video that proves that while Yale students may boast the more adorable mascot, they really needs to work on their snark level – not to mention voiceover skills.
In the newly released “Harvard: Put Up or Shut Up,” an independently directed production, the Yale College Council throws down the gauntlet and shames Harvard students once and for all for their inferiorities, including:
They could not come up with that much.
College rivalries! Always exciting for the schools involved, but never of much interest to anyone else. And that’s fine, mostly. Then, one Saturday every November, Harvard and Yale meet for their annual contest, “The Game.” At that point, we brace for one massive, collective eye roll.
Elis and Cantabs never stop talking about that damn game. Which, like we said, would be all fine and well, except they’re so fucking annoying about it. “You’re the worst!” “No, you’re the worst!” “We invented Facebook, what have you done recently?” “Nice Harvard t-shirt, losers!” “We only admitted 6 percent of applicants last year.” Good grief.
Every year — from now until whatever Harvard-and-Yale-brokered oblivion we all ultimately face — we’re going to have to face the prospect of listening to those two groups of hyper-qualified idiots that make up the Harvard-Yale fan bases rub each others noses in their Mensa-scented bullshit. Such is life. And, such being the case, IvyGate has received an estimated 503,341 emails this week with links to soooper funny videos put together by the members of said institutions, making fun of said rivals. Well, fine. We’ll watch them. Are you happy now?
After the jump: Yale video = actually pretty funny. Harvard video = awful. Read on! Read the rest of this entry »
That time is upon us again, friends. This Saturday marks the annual occasion of “The Game” — a collegiate sporting event of singular import. (Singular in the sense that it’s important to one single coupling of communities, whom everyone else finds mostly insufferable.) Today, Shebani Rao, resident IvyGate Yalien (not insufferable), took some time to write a paean to her dear, rival Cantabs, presented below. — Ed.
It’s official: the month of looming finals, winter coats and unshavenness is upon us. Before we jet off for Thanksgiving break, we eagerly await the arrival (and subsequent humiliation) of our Ivy League brethren at the annual Harvard-Yale football game.
Why the students of Harvard even bother to truck down here and play us every November is a huge mystery at this point. Even if they happen to win The Game by some stroke of luck — as admittedly might have been the case these past four years — their ineptitude in all the ways that matter (College Prowler attractiveness ratings, anyone?) should keep them from ever setting foot outside their decaying Cambridge castle. Nevertheless, it seems that their immunity to embarrassment has prevailed yet again this fall. Not only are they coming by the busload, they’re also wearing crimson jerseys (yeah, it’s a color, not a mascot) that say “Occupy Yale” on the front and — wait for it — “We are the 6%” across the back.
We almost feel bad taking the opportunity to comment on this latest facepalm incident from you Harvardians. Don’t get us wrong: we think your jerseys are reallll creative, but broadcasting that you make up the six percent of college students for whom the concept of irony is lost — Occupy Harvard, anyone? — doesn’t really seem like something to boast about. Surely there’s something more flattering you could have chosen? If it’s your admission statistics you’re referring to, we hope they bring you comfort when you ponder the fraction of your alumni we imagine would say they’re happy with their undergraduate experience (1%) or the proportion of the population that thinks that the word Harvard is synonymous with “douchebag” (99%). In any case, we look forward to seeing your hilarious, not-even-remotely-elitist jerseys in person next week, and we hope when we destroy you on the football field that those jerseys have fun occupying the trash can.
Harvardians! Send your reactions to email@example.com.
Harvard, the official Debbie Downer of the Ivy League, has banned vuvuzelas from the Harvard-Yale Game, thus stomping out a rather frightening Facebook effort to bring them into the stadium. Anyone who watched more than ten seconds of the World Cup will be on their side, but some Yale students are actually pouting about it. First no tailgating, and now no vuvuzelas? How can they possibly have fun at The Game this year? Not to mention the “Huck Farvard” shirts kind of blow.
From the Yale Daily News:
Two students interviewed who had already bought Yale vuvuzelas said they are disillusioned by Harvard’s decision to ban the vuvuzelas.
“It seems kind of lame,” quipped Dakota Meyers ’13. “Maybe they’re still bitter about that one time we said they sucked.”
At least some Yale students have their heads on straight. According to the YDN, Yalies largely seemed relieved that they’re not going to have their ears blown off by gigantic kazoos. And by “Yalies,” we actually mean “football players and members of the marching band”:
Yale quarterback Patrick Witt ’12 said he is glad to hear of the ban, adding that the loud roar of the vuvuzelas would “cheapen” The Game for those on the field and in the bleachers.
…Elliot Eaton ’11, drum major for the YPMB, said he supports the ban not only out of concern for the band’s performance at the Game, but also because it will provide a “less miserable” experience for students.
Very true, Elliot. Now instead of having to listen to miserable vuvuzelas, Yale students can just stand around stone-cold sober in the freezing Boston weather and watch two bad football teams bitchslap each other. At least it won’t be, uh, “cheap.”
The buzz-killing master puppeteers behind political correctness are at it again in the Ivy League. But this time, bullshit has been decidedly called. Sparks are flying, and IvyGate is here to settle the Great Yale T-Shirt Saga once and for all. Investigation ho!
Turns out, the tale is as tangled as it is lame. In the days preceding the Harvard/Yale Game, Eli frosh cobbled together a mildly amusing anti-Cantab t-shirt, emblazoned with the seemingly innocuous quote
I think of all Harvard men as sissies.
– F. Scott Fitzgerald, Princeton-dropout and required 10th-grade reading.
The little Elis subsequently patted themselves on the back for their cutting wit, and happily prepared themselves for yet another gridiron drubbing at the hands of not-quite-as-athletically-feeble-but-still-very-much-so Harvard.
But not so fast witty frosh! Like the charge of the light brigade, the Yale LGBT Cooperative descended upon the baby politicos of the Freshman Class Council. Apparently, Yale—normally the most homophilic of the Ivies—had committed a major gay-bashing no-no. In the words of LGBT Coordinator Julio-Perez Torres (whose Facebook lists “Freedom Fighter” as his Political Views.) Irony forthcoming:
The term ‘sissies’ is considered offensive and demeaning, and a “thinly-veiled gay slur.”
The Co-op cried foul to Yale administrators, and the hypersensitive head honchos put their foot down. The folks at the Huffington Post and the Foundation for Individual Rights in Education are also mad as hell, and not going to take it anymore. Read on after the jump.
Read the rest of this entry »
Headached and frostbitten, Harvard students are still trying to figure out what went wrong. Another year of heightened party restrictions and generally pitiful party behavior in Cambridge proves once again that even though Harvard outscored Yale in The Game, Yale still scores more in general. Harvard kids managed to screw up their own pep rally by getting too rambunctious during a Girl Talk concert. To boot, Crimeds botched the 40-year-old Crimson-YDN pigskin challenge by failing to show up to the game. They even refused to open the doors of 14 Plympton St to let the Elis in for a drink.
The Crimson Crazies can blame the Boston Police Department for cutting this year’s tailgate short, but the Girl Talk incident is unforgivably the fault of the fun-starved students who organized it. (Really, putting Greg Gillis on a flimsy stage with a PA system is like putting a hungry tiger in a preschool playground.) Meanwhile, the hope that ever-tightening restrictions in Boston and Cambridge might pull the focus back to the football also turns out to be a bit bogus. From the looks of it, there are just as many police officers on the field as gridiron giants. For all the buzz and hullaballoo, this year’s 125th anniversary of The Game succeeds, yet again, in stirring more nostalgia than cocktails.
Check out some pictures from the festivities along with B-list celebrity gossip after the jump.
Read the rest of this entry »
First we brought you uncomfortably high-resolution images of the two MIT guys who streaked the Yale-Harvard game last weekend. Now, via Deadspin, here’s the video. Don’t say we never did anything for you.
We were dreading having to write a sleepy, dead-on-arrival item about The Game: Yale won, Harvard lost, a streak ended, yadda yadda yadda. Thank God, then, that MIT — The Game’s frequent disruptor — gave us an angle on this yawn-fest. And as usual, that angle is nudity.
Streakers! God bless ’em. Late in the fourth quarter, the letters of his school writ large across his back, one brave MIT stallion wove around policemen, stadium security, and indifferent football players before being brought down near the Yale 40 yard line. His partner, perhaps imitating the Crimson offense, was brought down before he got going, cuffed near the edge of the field. If that guy’s smug grin is any sign, he’s getting a hero’s welcome back home. Maybe he’ll even get a new pair of socks.
When we said kids aren’t taking Harvard-Yale seriously this year, we hadn’t seen these guys. A Yale rap crew called 108 Tongues just released its third annual edition of the call-to-arms anthem, “Fuck Harvard.” The song (and its previous versions) gives the Crimson-Bulldog rivalry a Bloods-Crips overlay: “With thousands of pounds I got a mack 10/ Attackin from the front and the sides/ With rims on my ride/ Riding up to Cambridge commitin homicide.” Subtle it is not, but times like this don’t call for subtlety. They call for gats.
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We expect some sort of response from Harvard, even if it’s just a Snoop-like call for peace. Either way, good to see the Yale hip-hop tradition that spawned “BK2Nite” is alive and well.
Every year at The Game, there’s always The Jackass who takes The Pregame so seriously, he never makes it to, let alone remembers, The Game itself.
This year, it looks like some students are skipping The Game again, only this time it’s deliberate. Now that Yale won’t be subsidizing the $60 round-trip bus ride to Cambridge, and Harvard won’t be tacitly condoning reckless inebriation, Elis are trying to get psyched about this weekend’s match against Princeton instead. Not one of The eight tailgate spaces set aside for Yale at The Harvard-Yale game has been taken, according to The Crimson. All this predicts a lackluster game — at this point, The team may not even bother to show.
But wait, there’s hope! Some Yalies are fighting The Harvard-Yale bureaucracy with the best weapon available: wealth. A tipster in New Haven tells us “at least one group of seniors has hired a 15-person limo to ferry it north in style. A competitive price and the ability to pack open containers of alcohol were both cited as enticements.” Clever way to stick it to The athletic department brass? Sure. The reason people hate Ivy Leaguers? Absolutely.