It seems that Penn students’ penchant for heavy petting isn’t limited to members of the human race. The boys of Zeta Psi–artisans of culture that they are–raised a few eyebrows last week when they brought a camel to Spring Fling. The five-year-old camel, which apparently answers to the name of “Khan” or “What the Fuck, a Fucking Camel,” was the star of Zeta Psi’s annual petting zoo–an event that coincided with the school’s campus-wide slop-a-lot singalong, and that accordingly got a little drunk-funky.
According to The Daily Pennsylvanian, Khan the camel was spotted lolling around on the ground outside the frat house, no doubt as trashed as the Penn students themselves. One of their sources reported that “Zeta Psi ‘was packed full of people, all around the camel’ and ‘girls were groping it and they were drunk.'” It speaks volumes about Zeta Psi that their most popular member has four hairy legs and a hump and smells like goat pellets. It also speaks volumes about Penn girls that their beer goggles turn them into animal lovers. But anyway.
The only person to take issue with this situation–everyone else was clearly having barrels of fun rolling in the hay with the camel and his friends, the wallaby, the rabbit and the sheep–was a postdoctoral fellow named George Leslie, who spotted the petting zoo orgy and immediately cried foul to several media outlets. Leslie’s primary complaint was that petting zoos and loud music shouldn’t mix, although anyone who’s ever been to Miami Beach might say otherwise. An investigation by the Office of Student Affairs/Fraternity Sorority Life has since absolved Zeta of any wrongdoing, since apparently using a camel as a lounge chair is totally within the dictates of Natty Light Law. Looks like Khan and Co. can still return next year to smoke a few more doobies and get their asses stroked by Penn freshmen. Living the high life!