Work for IvyGate: Back to School Edition

It’s that time of year again. While the Ancient Eight are preparing themselves for the quickly upcoming academic year, here at IvyGate, we’re looking for new talented contributors to join our elite ranks. And, as we’ve said before, “Experience is arbitrary.”

Seriously though, we want you! We’re looking for the next crop of newsies to break the big stories, investigate enticing leads, and cover the day-to-day foibles of the Ivy League. We’re looking for columnists to give their opinions on Ivy League sports, ethics, and whatever else you can think of (we’re open). We’re looking for design and multimedia mavens to create images, cut videos, and generally make us look as pretty as possible.

Have your work read by literally thousands of eyes every day, including some of the snarkiest most beautiful and intelligent commenters in the game. Join the entity recently referred to as a “blog” by The Huffington Post, ABC News, and many other equally impressive outfits. And look out, because there’s a website redesign coming soon that’ll knock your socks off.

If anything here appeals to you, or you have something slightly/wildly different in mind, or you have no idea what you’d want to do, hit us up at We look forward to hearing from you.

BREAKING: Fareed Zakaria Responds to Our Desperate Email

A few days ago we discovered footage of Fareed Zakaria 1) name-dropping IvyGate 2) during a speech at Johns Hopkins University 3) for their 2011 Commencement 4) by quoting a comment 5) on a post entitled “Columbia In Open Revolt As Dr. Jack Shepherd Chosen As Class Day Speaker” 6) from five years ago. In 2007.

Zakaria is “the most influential foreign-policy adviser of his generation,” according to Esquire.

For the record, here is the comment Zakaria quoted from, in full:

Having a Yale Corp member just smacks of talking about your backpack on Show and Tell day because you forgot to bring in something interesting.

“Uh…it has a zipper…and…a bunch of pockets in the front…”

Just smacks! It was a more innocent, and articulate, time.

We soon obtained Mr. Zakaria’s super-secret, totally-not-public personal email address (thanks, Nick), to which we sent a fairly desperate request for comment, asking Zakaria if he had anything else to add, and, PS, if he still reads IvyGate. He emailed us an hour ago!

From: “Zakaria, Fareed (CNN)”
Date: 23 May 2012 20:51:54

Nothing more to add. I have to confess, I haven’t looked at it lately but it was a lively site the last time I saw it.

“Lively.” “I haven’t looked at it lately.” We appreciate the candor, Fareed. (You were AMAZING in Game Change, by the way.)

Before you ask, yes, we emailed him back, to ask whether “lately” meant 2007 or, like, 2011. And yes, we are that desperate for approval. (If 2011, though: whoever’s near Peter Finocchiaro should give him a pat on the back. And then Peter should give his co-editors a pat on the back, too, if he’s near them.)

Click thru for the the video: Read the rest of this entry »

Be the Future: Work for IvyGate

Three things:

1) In a few days you’ll see IvyGate all dressed up in a cleaner, faster design. We’re adding nifty things like WordPress asides (for shorter items) and subtracting less nifty things like that ungainly tag cloud and the Google+ dingus. Nothing huge, but everything should look nicer.

2) We need people! This is our call for contributors. Can you make Ivy League sports—beyond Jeremy Lin—at all interesting? Email us. Do you think we’re missing a critical area (e.g., a particular Ivy) in our coverage? Email us. Do you possess the personality to write a sex/relationship/whatever column? Email us.

Are you toiling away at your campus daily, struggling to tolerate your monomaniacal editor-in-chief, and just not enjoying yourself? Email us. If you can write pithily about the Ivy League’s darker elements—the unalloyed obsession with class; the anxious tallying of achievement and prestige; the unapologetic scramble to grab as much money and power as possible—email us. If you want to help us break news, email us.

IvyGate lives and dies on the strength of its writers, but we also want  students and recent grads who can design stuff, cut video, or devise clever headlines. If any of that sounds exciting, email us. We’re also looking for a dedicated individual to help plan larger editorial projects—i.e., a co-editor. If you can commit 15-20 hours a week to making IvyGate as entertaining and essential as possible, email us, and we’ll talk. It’ll be awesome.

Also: for all positions and responsibilities, IvyGate very much encourages women to apply.

3) Anything else you might want to offer? Email us at And if you want to talk to, swear at, or insult me: I look forward to it.


Occupy Us!


This feels strange. Like being the weird, paunchy alumni who show up at a kegger making outdated cultural references (see headline) and trying to strike up conversations about classes that have long since been discontinued. So we’ll keep this brief.

Your fearless editor-in-chief Peter Finocchiaro is moving on to even greener pastures, which means our annual-or-so hunt for new talent is on. We’re looking for the usual things: hyper-competence, devilishness, good judgment (!), and some reportorial chops. Running IvyGate is actually a lot of work, but it is equally a lot of fun. Read the rest of this entry »

Aaaand We’re Back!

So! News has been sparse around these parts lately. But now we’ve returned, with some new contributors, and one major masthead addition forthcoming.

What did we miss while we were gone? Harvard students are occupied. Penn student government dorks are hazing. A recent Cornell alum has been elected King of Ithaca. Yale killed Sex Week. Other stuff happened, too, and we’ll be filling you in, starting this weekend, on all the scoops there are to be dished.

Stay tuned!

Stay Tuned (and Write For Us!)

You may have noticed that things have been a little quiet ’round these parts lately. That won’t be the case for long. Some exciting changes are coming to IvyGate in the days and weeks to follow. We’re pretty jazzed about them, so be on alert.

BUT! In the mean time, we’re still on the lookout for prodigious blogging talent to join our ranks. To plagiarize myself, here’s a brief description of what we have in mind:

Solid writers with a sharp eye for story fodder and an incisive sense of humor. (Snark is our watchword, but we don’t abide haphazard bitchiness — so choose your words wisely!) The ideal contributor is waggish, prolific, and possesses what one of IG’s illustrious forebears calls “a proto-David Foster Wallace voice.” If you think you’ve got what it takes, hit us up at

So, for realsies, shoot us a line!

ATTN: Concerning This Morning’s Harvard Article

Dear readers,

IvyGate posted an article this morning about the recent resignation of Michael Marc D. Hauser, a Harvard professor who was found responsible for eight different cases of scientific misconduct. Shortly thereafter, we were alerted to a number of striking similarities between our own story and one published two days ago in the Harvard Crimson. We’ve since removed the article, and followed up with its author, a first-time IvyGate contributor, who will no longer be writing for the site.

We regret this error, and we apologize to the Crimson for the serious editorial oversight.

Peter Finocchiaro
Editor in Chief, IvyGate

Sex, Drugs and A Silver Spoon: An IvyGate Retrospective (2010-2011 Academic Year Edition)

Now that Dartmouth has officially ended its spring term, all the Ivies are finally on break, and it’s time to look back and reflect on the time gone by. So, what kind of year was it?

To be honest, we don’t really remember that much. All the sturm und drang drove us to the bottle, and everything beyond last week is kind of a blur. Hummus bans? Social experiments? Butt-chugging? Fuck if we know. But we can at least glean some insight from the stories that you read. So, presented below, are IvyGate’s top 10 traffic generators of the year:

Check out the rest of the top 10, after the jump! (Plus: Honorable mentions from each school.)

Read the rest of this entry »

G.T.I.: Gym, Tan, IvyGate

Awwww yeahhh. The summer is heating up, folks, and your fearless IvyGate editors have handed me the keys to this glorious website for the entire month of June. I will be working tirelessly from my parents’ basement – er, I mean, Official IvyGate Headquarters – to bring you the juicy Ivy League news and gossip that you so desperately crave.

If you have any good tips or info, send them along to The summer can be a slow news period, so if one of you crazy Ivy Leaguers wants to help me out by making an embarrassing sex tape or something (I’m looking at you, Brown!), it would be much appreciated.

I think we’re going to have a fun time this summer, and I’m eager to get this show on the road. For those that don’t know, I’m a blast in a glass … a walking holiday, if you will. And there are plenty more Jersey Shore references where that came from.


~Corey Brezak

IvyGate’s Looking for Summer Editors: APPLY NOW!

You may have noticed — if you weren’t too busy slaving away on terms papers in some dimly lit corner of library-hell — but the seasons have changed.

The sun is out. The birds are chirping. All manner of Ivy League fauna — butt-chugging bros, tiger cubs, felonious transfer students, fucking Kurt Schneider — have shed their extraneous outerwear and appear poised to continue making poor decisions well after the vernal equinox. In short, summer is just around the corner.

Your fearless IvyGate editors will continue to plug away here through the end of May, after which time we’ll step back into advisory roles. Then starting June 2nd, in the finest of IvyGate traditions, we’ll hand over the reins to a fresh-out-of-the-box team of Summer Editors, equipped with their own distinguished brands of Internet muckraking.

But who, pray tell, possesseth the verve, the panache, the editorial derring-do to lead IvyGate? Maybe you!

Here are the detes: If you’re interested in applying to be a guest editor for the month of June, shoot us an email at We’ll send over the application info, post haste. Then you can get to work showing us exactly why you deserve a shot at the helm of the Good Ship IvyGate. Who knows? This plum gig could be your first step to media glory. (After all, former summer chief Maureen O’Connor is on TV like every other day now.) So, if you’re interested, hit us up.

Happy Finals,

Constance, Peter, and Eve