Why is a 2010 article about the DKE pledge chants on the top stories on the Yale Daily News website?

Take a trip down memory lane to four years ago, when men were real, the brotherhood was real, and fraternities at Yale were raw:

In October 2010, Delta Kappa Epsilon pledges stood on Old Campus, shouted obscenities about co-eds and took the meaning of consent for a spin. For some unknown reason, the Yale Daily News report on this event has reappeared on the front page of its website–it appeared first under the Most Popular heading yesterday (it’s still there today, trailing after some articles from the Opinion section).

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A Camel Partied with Penn Frat Boys Last Week

It seems that Penn students’ penchant for heavy petting isn’t limited to members of the human race. The boys of Zeta Psi–artisans of culture that they are–raised a few eyebrows last week when they brought a camel to Spring Fling. The five-year-old camel, which apparently answers to the name of “Khan” or “What the Fuck, a Fucking Camel,” was the star of Zeta Psi’s annual petting zoo–an event that coincided with the school’s campus-wide slop-a-lot singalong, and that accordingly got a little drunk-funky.

According to The Daily Pennsylvanian, Khan the camel was spotted lolling around on the ground outside the frat house, no doubt as trashed as the Penn students themselves. One of their sources reported that “Zeta Psi ‘was packed full of people, all around the camel’ and ‘girls were groping it and they were drunk.'” It speaks volumes about Zeta Psi that their most popular member has four hairy legs and a hump and smells like goat pellets. It also speaks volumes about Penn girls that their beer goggles turn them into animal lovers. But anyway.

The only person to take issue with this situation–everyone else was clearly having barrels of fun rolling in the hay with the camel and his friends, the wallaby, the rabbit and the sheep–was a postdoctoral fellow named George Leslie, who spotted the petting zoo orgy and immediately cried foul to several media outlets. Leslie’s primary complaint was that petting zoos and loud music shouldn’t mix, although anyone who’s ever been to Miami Beach might say otherwise. An investigation by the Office of Student Affairs/Fraternity Sorority Life has since absolved Zeta of any wrongdoing, since apparently using a camel as a lounge chair is totally within the dictates of Natty Light Law. Looks like Khan and Co. can still return next year to smoke a few more doobies and get their asses stroked by Penn freshmen. Living the high life!

Keynote Speaker at Frat Conference Warns Bros Against Butt-Chugging

We were alarmed this morning to receive a cryptic message from an Ivy League fraternity leader who told us that, “Your Chi Psi butt chug article just made it into the keynote speaker’s presentation at NGLA.” Whattup, we’re famous!

But then we got to wondering: What in the name of butt-filtered beer is the NGLA? And what were they discussing that could be pertinent to the most famous drinking trick to ever involve a mighty oak tree, a can of Keystone, two bare cheeks, and brother Richard, eagerly awaiting the trickle-down libation? Well, as it turns out, the NGLA is the Northeast Greek Leadership Association. This week the organization hosted its annual conference in Hartford, Connecticut. The keynote speaker in question was the aptly named Dr. Walter Kimbrough and his presentation was titled, “Dilemma: A history in terrible decisions on film of fraternal organizations in America.” The good doctor apparently brought up a screen grab of our original Butt-Chug article as he was discussing the subject of hazing.

Said our source:

He was talking about hazing and put up a screenshot of the article and spoke about Slope Day … It was a wild time. He didn’t stay on it too long, he was just running down a list of recent hazing things.

We find this particularly interesting, because we had been under the impression that — since the photo was taken on Slope Day, at the end of the semester — pledging had completed and hazing wasn’t an issue. Now, this could still be the case. The speaker didn’t represent Cornell and would, in all probability, have very little insight into the inner workings of frat justice there. Still, we find the juxtaposition of image and discussion fascinating. (That being said, we’re pretty sure it wasn’t hazing.)

Mostly though, we feel like the story serves as yet another reminder that it’s probably a bad idea for frat brothers to document the incriminating behavior they’re guilty of behind the scenes — or, as it were, in broad daylight. It might wind up in a Powerpoint! Of course, discretion always eventually gives way to really, really poor judgment. Which, honestly, works out all the better for us.

Cornell’s Chi Psi Fraternity Enjoys its Keystone with a Tinge of Ass

What’s with Cornell frat bros documenting literally every compromising action they take? The school’s chapter of the Chi Psi fraternity has detailed lovingly for the camera a new method for giving its brews the flavor they lacked: The Butt Chug.

The picture shows a number of Chi Psi brother wearing purple-and-yellow reversible pinnies, and IvyGate has been able to confirm that it was taken this past May on the last day of Spring classes, Slope Day (May 7). No word on the identity of this “Richard” or what other seasonings he enjoys in his beer.

You can find a full-sized copy of the image here.


RagTime: An Uphill Battle Edition

  • Penn: Students not content to let excruciating election season die, vow to extend the farce as long as possible
  • Brown: Most students satisfied with freshman roommates
  • Harvard: Former student accused of faking his way in expected to plead guilty
  • Columbia: POTUS Project hopes to lure President Obama to speak at Commencement, draws literally no interest from student body
  • Cornell: “Gang showers. That’s what it’s like to be in a fraternity.”

Yale Fratboys, Feminists, and Hipsters Declare: It’s LADIES NITE

Tomorrow night, Yale’s meatiest and football-iest fraternity, Delta Kappa Epsilon, will play host to a party that can only be described as a twisted, incongruous chimera: it’s a Sadie Hawkins dance, hosted jointly by DKE (the frattiest of the frats), M O D E R N L O V E (Yale’s Friday-night hipster commune, usually held in high-plaid-quotient basements, and capitalized thusly), and yes, the Yale Women’s Center. Bros, Beirut-fans, bra-burners: together at last. All female DJs; heavy on irony; heavy on kegstands. This is the most beautiful union since Yalta, and about as unlikely as Buzz Aldrin on Dancing with the Stars. And it’s liberating! From the Facebook Event:

———————LADIES:———————
Do you get fed up with Modern Love?
Do you get fed up with sweaty hipster bros grinding up on your donk?
Do you get fed up with sweaty hipster bros spinning sexist jams such as Jay-Z’s “Big Pimpin’”?
Have you ever dreamed of pulling the plug out of our speakers and doing things yourself?
THIS FRIDAY, YOU CAN AND WILL
Modern Love, the Yale Women’s Center, and the brothers of Delta Kappa Epsilon are throwing a patriarchy-toppling dance party entitled
♀————-L-A-D-I-E-S-’–N-I-T-E————-♀

Yes, capitalized thusly.

We can only hope that many ironic/athletic-heterozygous offspring will be conceived on DKE’s beer stained floors.