Brown’s Dancing with the Professors

In its latest orgy of liberal hedonism and debauchery, Brown has held its third fourth annual “Dancing with the Profs” event, an event that can only be properly explained by this video.

Look at those Brunonians, trying to sound arrogant and condescending. They almost seem like real Ivy Leaguers! Apparently, dance competitions are the i-banking internships of Brown. They’re still behind the curve in the trash-talking department though, as they know only two taunts, one of which is “they’d better bring their A game.” Real original. By the way, your mom is fat. Besides, it’s Brown, isn’t everything pass/fail? Guess you can’t expect Brown students to be too good at douchbaggery.

You know that last pair shown in that video, Eric Ho and Professor Tannenwald, they ended up winning!

Said Ho of their performance:

I think best dance ever for me and the professor is definitely an option.  Things didn’t get awkward probably thanks to Ivana [the event organizer] being there most of the rehearsals. Professor Tannenwald was actually really great and always open to trying different things.

We jest of course (please don’t fail me, Tannenwald), but the competition clearly takes Brown’s focus on professor-student relationships too far. As far as we can tell, it seems to be an attempt on the part of Brown’s professors to paw desperately at the raunch and lawlessness of SexPowerGod and StarFuck. When you think about it, the whole thing is thinly veiled sexual innuendo, from the premise itself, which could easily be the plot of a porno, to Mr. Bangle’s porn star moustache, to the clearly erotic dances the groups try to perform.  Come on, you guys see it? Right… right?

We’ll admit it, we wish DWTP was edgier (could we at least have gotten a wardrobe malfunction or something?). Judging by the fact that even the provincial BDH didn’t deem it news-worthy, we’re guessing that most Brown students feel the same.  Here’s crossing our fingers and hoping that next year we’re writing about SexProfessorGod.