Columbia, where correlation equals causation

The administrative heroes over at Columbia decided that the best way to solve the university’s major sexual assault crisis and amend for their general mishandling of assault cases is to cancel a school-wide concert. Most publicly-reacting students have recognized this as yet another misguided move, and likely part of the school’s continuing War on Fun. The concert was supposed to be held this fall and artists were already secured; now the school has to pay the unnamed artists $55,000 for nothing.

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Breaking: Avicii to Play Cornell Homecoming

Well, this is something exciting to go to Ithaca for. Superstar DJ Avicii will play Cornell University’s homecoming show, according to his website. The Swedish phenom will play a Saturday night show in Cornell’s Barton Hall, courtesy of Cornell Concert Commission.

Some of Avicii’s best known tracks are “Seek Bromance,” “Fade into Darkness,” and, oh yeah, “Levels.” You can check out “Levels” below: