Brown Daily Herald Columnist: ‘Universal Suffrage Is Immoral,’ ‘I Read Atlas Shrugged Once’

Meet Oliver Hudson. Oliver is a junior at Brown University, where he is editor-in-chief of the campus’ conservative magazine the Brown Spectator, and writes a regular column in the Brown Daily Herald. Today, Oliver focused his writing on a topic he appears to be quite passionate about: voting rights.

“Most of us accept and celebrate our universal suffrage. But is it a good idea? In my view, no.”

Rather than allow every adult U.S. citizen to vote, Oliver argues, this “privilege” should be based on taxes. As he writes, Restricting the right to vote to taxpayers is moral and practical. Sounds like someone really dug that Ayn Rand seminar they took last semester.

If Oliver ran things around here, people wouldn’t just be voting wherever and whenever they pleased, no sir. Right now, the voting population is comprised of two groups: Those good hearted people who pay their taxes and give the government revenue, and another set of people who then take that money in the form of “benefits and programs” — or “stuff and things” — but may or may not pay their fair share. And for Oliver, if you don’t pay, you shouldn’t be voting, because a vote for a federal representative immediately decides where the government’s money goes. Read the rest of this entry »

The Not-So-Far-Fetched Fictitious Alumni and Attendees of the Ivy League, Part I of II

You might wonder, why do we always see Ivy League characters in books, movies, and on television?  Well, when you get 7 of the country’s most prestigious schools together with Cornell, their combined influence and effrontery is bound to influence pop culture.  Here begins IvyGate’s 2-part “investigation” of Ivy League schools and their fictitious alumni.  To begin, Brown University:

The first person we’ll examine is Hermione Granger…oh, wait…that really happened.

Okay, let’s move on to our next, and certainly most famous and relevant Brunonian: Brian Griffin.  No student could typify Brown University more with his contrarian nature, sickeningly left-wing agenda, air of superiority, and casual (causal?) use of alcohol, pot, and various other drugs.  Most notably, however, he didn’t graduate, rounding out the underachievement of all Brunonians!  Like most Brown students he has very little to put on his résumé, besides things like a hydroponics lab and that one summer in high school spent working to cure Koalas with an extra nipple. Read the rest of this entry »

Ivy Newspapers Brilliantly Urge Freshmen to “Enjoy” Their “Lives”

Ivy Newspapers Brilliantly Urge Freshmen to "Enjoy" Their "Lives"We’ve already brought you some of the Class of 2011’s incredible exploits. Yet there’s something infinitely worse than pre-frosh acting dumb: upperclassmen who deign to give freshmen advice in campus newspapers. Year after year, we are subjected to the selfsame verbal diarrhea as semi-nostalgic upperclass columnists blow smoke up their own asses.

These advices employ a time-old formula of mixing general banalities with college-specific banalities, i.e., “you have such wonderful opportunities at [school] and should totally take advantage of [local record shop or bar in town].”

After the jump, a round-up of the inane “wisdom” to which the Class of 2011 is being so cruelly subjected.

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