Harvard Extension School Gets Their Own Aleksey

I’ve heard plenty of job application tips, some of which I would try (bringing in writing samples, arriving on time), some of which I wouldn’t (bringing fresh-baked cookies to the interview, making a video résumé, wearing a low-cut top), and some of which make me cringe.  Like this offer from a Harvard extension school grad sent to the Wall Street gossip rag Dealbreaker: “find Me a Job and I will give you my first week’s pay!”

This Harvard Grad, whoever he or she is, sent in their résumé and proposition to Dealbreaker and asked them to post the offer on the blog for readers to consider.  It seems like a pretty good deal:

Once hired by the firm, after I receive my first paycheck, I am willing to pay my first week’s salary to the individual whose efforts resulted in me being hired by the firm… In addition, I am willing to negotiate for more than my first weeks salary if I get the position.

All from a guy who got a degree in “Accounting, Auditing, and Ethical Standards” at Harvard Extension school?  We’re not a firm and we don’t pay, but we’ve got a job open right here at Ivygate, my friend.

CD-Y Either Won The Amazing Race or got his South Korean TV Personality Salary Early

Our favorite little Princeton celebrity and The Amazing Race contestant/ likely loser Connor Diemand-Yauman is getting the full star treatment back in Princeton.  People kept hush-hush about his TAR involvement/ probable loss because they knew how sore he’d be he hadn’t made it to the final round with fellow a cafella Jonathan Schwartz, but that didn’t stop the paparazzi.  We got this razzi-shot from an anonymous tipster who said:

My roomate stuck in Princeton doing research this summer saw him on Sunday on Nassau Street getting into his new car. I am almost positive he didnt have this on campus.

We’re still pretty sure he didn’t win the race because we spotted him on FB chat while the race was still being run, so what mysterious source of income could have paid for this car?  Schwartz’s singing career?  His close personal relationship with General Petraeus?  His South Korean TV career?  His parents who send him to an Ivy League school?

CD-Y, you never cease to bewilder us.

Here’s a close up of CD-Y opening the luxury vehicle to confirm it’s really him:

Aww.  Cheer up, CDY.  There’s so much more reality TV ahead of you.

Our Sad Future: Unemployed, Single and Blogging About It

So, as it turns out, the Ivy League diploma isn’t actually the get-out-of-jail-free card, all-expenses-paid-trip-voucher, ticket-to-post-graduation-bliss we thought it was, at least according to two bloggeristas, one who writes about her life as a single Ivy grad trying out the Jewish Online Dating Scene, the other who writes about the irony of all ironies: being unemployed even years after the Ivy League.

The Penn alum behind the blog Fifty First (J) Dates is Meredith Fineman.  She’s created somewhat of a social-media empire around this whole Fifty First (J) Dates.  There’s the tumblr, the twitter, the Huffington Post articles.  Sadly, the blog leaves a lot to be desired: it’s a dating blog too shy to give any interesting details from the dates (unless you count a full-wardrobe description interesting).  It is full, however, of self-analysis, like one post in which Meredith revealed she is “a total educational snob”:

In high school, you knew everyones parents, dogs, ratio of peanut butter to jelly in the lunch room (ideally 4:1, but i won’t judge), etcetera. In college, you sorta knew everyone you hooked up with was OK because they went to your school. And were maybe in a cool fraternity, and were known for painting their bodies and imitating a certain Herpes-ridden performance artist from Acapulco. Bad example. But you catch my drift.

Now, I am going out with random dudes, I don’t know their backpack color, or if they sat behind me in Psych 101. Granted, still not that random, given that half of them are my friend’s sister’s little brother’s best friend from baseball camp — but going into the “unknown,” it helps to at least have an idea of where this person was educated.

Mazal Tov, Meredith for the Huffington Post links!  Good luck finding a nice Jewish boy with a good education, but take our advice: if you end up falling in love with a Penn State alum, remember that it could be worse… he could be a Goy!

The blog Ivy Leagued and Unemployed is less tapped-in social media wise and has a rather unfortunate WordPress theme, but is perhaps worth a gander if you want to see how sad life will be when you’re 22 and a recipient of an Ivy League diploma, but unemployed and bored and decide you’ll write a blog about your life as an unemployed-young-and-smart-person because it makes you feel good to offer up your sage advice and sound wisdom to the world for free.

Maybe the Ivy League just wasn’t cut out for blogs.

image via Flickr user Mike Licht.

Griff Harsh Progresses from Throwing Beer Cans to Breaking a Woman’s Ankle

Life must be tough for poor Griff Harsh when mommy Meg Whitman is off donating money to build colleges that you attend.  But that doesn’t excuse his actions that got him a charge for felony battery in 2006.

Apparently Griff was recently riding a bus in Palo Alto with 22-year-old Victoria Sanchez when the two began to argue and she ended up making fun of his Princeton Fraternity.  According to an article in Gawker (complete with scans of the police report) the two were unfortunately en route to the same location, a Blue Chalk Café, where the two got into a fight.  Harsh pushed Sanchez with both hands and she was thrown to the floor and broke her ankle.  Harsh, of course, denies that anything happens (and has even blamed the victim).

Probably not the best idea to get into bar fights that make you look like a violent bully, Griff.  Mom just might lower your allowance.

Cornell Researcher Performing Female Genital Mutilation and Abusing Young Girls Slips Through the Cracks

As patients in a study testing “Nerve-Sparing Veneral Clitoropasty” fifty one girls aged six to twenty four underwent clitoris-reshaping surgery known most commonly as Female Genital Mutilation.  The study was conducted by a researcher in the field of urology at Cornell named Dix Poppas (pictured smiling happily with a patient at the right).  Dix Poppas is the head of the pediatric urology department at Presbyterian Hospital at Cornell.  Poppas and his team (including Jennifer Yang and Diane Felsen) took 51 patients with “clitorimegaly”, or an enlarged clitoris, and performed the basic surgery sometimes called “female circumcision”, which I hope any educated person, Ivy League or otherwise, is aware of.  Poppas’s study passed itself off as being “humane” by performing surgery that would supposedly spare the nerves of the girls’ clitoris,  the most sensitive area of the woman’s body that most women require stimulation of in order to reach sexual climax (this is hopefully news to no one, especially our female and straight male readers).

Dr. Poppas’s findings of the study are hazy.  Adrenal hyperplasia, which in women causes a deep voice, facial hair, abnormal or nonexistant menstruation, early armpit hair growth, and genitalia that resemble a male’s (essentially a hyper-enlarged clitoris) is mentioned, but not connected to any of the patients.  Poppas sets the background for the study and mentions adrenal hyperplasia without explicitly saying he would operate on patients who had the disorder;

Enlargement of the clitoris is often a prominent manifestation of virilizing congenital adrenal hyperplasia and other disorders of sexual development. Controversy persists regarding the viability and sensitivity of the clitoris following clitoroplasty.

Later, in describing the patients Poppas says they all had clitoromegaly, a symptom which can be caused by a number of things other than adrenal hyperplasia, with only the most severe and pronounced examples manifesting itself in a clitoris so enlarged it resembles male genitalia and the most common cases enlarging the clitoris to just very slightly larger than average;

A total of 51 patients 4 months to 24 years old (mean age ± SD 4.6 ± 6.8 years) with clitorimegaly [sic] underwent nerve sparing ventral clitoroplasty.

So the women, sorry, girls had what could have been just a slightly larger-than-normal clitoris.  Well, and I’m sorry to be graphic on this usually-oh-so-proper blog, what exactly defines a “normal” clitoris size for a 6-year-old?  The study performed the reconstructive surgery, which involved removing pieces of the shaft and the glans of the clitoris in order to retain stimulatory nerves in the clitoris. To test if the girls were still capable of arousal Dr. Poppas applied a vibrator to stimulate the clitoris of the girls (who, may I remind you, have an average age of six years old).  The vibrator test was practiced on nine of the patients, but 41 patients were given a ‘capillary perfusion test’ in which a nurse pushed the back of her nail against the clitoris and removed it to see if it refilled with blood, indicating a ‘viable clitoris’:

Of the patients 41 had capillary perfusion testing of the clitoris, of whom all had a viable clitoris. Ten of the 41 patients underwent clitoral sensory testing. Patients reported an average degree of sensation of 3.6 ± 0.9 at the labia minora and 4.8 ± 0.4 at the clitoris. Nine of the 10 patients also underwent vibratory sensory testing. Average values for the introitus, clitoris, labia and thigh were 3.56, 1.61, 5.08, and 5.83, respectively. Mean time after surgery for the patients who underwent clitoral sensory testing/vibratory sensory testing was 2.0 ± 0.8 years. No variations in the sensitivity results were reported at followup in 2 patients.

According to an article that exposed the study in Bioethics Forum Poppas applied the vibrator while the girls’ parents watched on.  How does a six-year-old know what a “healthy” or “normal” active sexual response is to an older man in a sterile suit applying a vibrating stick to her now-operated-clitoris?  What is a proper sexual response for a six-year-old having her clitoris stimulated?  And apparently this study, which ended in 2007, passed ethical guidelines….

CDY Spotted on Facebook Chat: Has he Already Lost The Amazing Race?

Connor Diemand-Yauman, the Princeton superstar/ campus celeb/ korean TV personality/ future reality TV celeb who iscompeting in this year’s This Amazing Race is definitively NOT the winner of this year’s race (TAR17).  CDY, whose partner is aca fella fellow Princetonian Jonathan Schwartz, was recently spotted on Facebook chat, confirming that he is currently not in Korea or LA, which is where the last legs of the race are being run.

Connor’s email address still automatically replies, “I will have intermittent internet access until June 20th. If this is
an emergency please call XXXXXXXXXX.”  According to The Amazing Race aficionados over at Reality Fan Forum, however, CD-Y was probably kicked out around the 4th leg of the journey, somewhere in Stockholm.  Connor and Jonathan successfully made it from Gloucester, MA to England, to Accra, Ghana, to Germany and then to Stockholm, which was their last reported sighting (on June 1st).

A word to Jonathan and Connor:  you haven’t just let yourselves down.  This is a big upset for everyone in the Ivy League.  You represented us, you were ambassadors sent into the world of reality television, sent to win The Amazing Race in honor of dear Victoria, who embarrassed us all with her not-top-model-worthy looks.  The Ivy League will suffer from this.

Original Video– More videos at TinyPic

The Ivy Oprah-Wannabe Showdown: Jordan V. Timeica

Apparently everyone in the Ivy League wants to be Oprah these days.

First there was Jordan, the fratgirl who made up for her lack of charisma with rhyming skills and a glass of wine who proposed a frightening “sports-themed cooking show”.

Now there’s Timeica, who tipped Ivygate off to her little audition tape via an email sent from “Team Timeica” to every single Yale student in an email asking Yalies to watch and vote.  Which, oops!  pissed off user yalie2011, who created a profile on the site just to write this comment:

This is cool, but spamming the Yale student body to vote for you is not the way to go. If you’re going to spam at least send it from your real email address and not “Team Timeica.” We’re not idiots…In any case best of luck.

Timeica’s talk show idea- “Be Inspired” is inspired Timeica’s life and by pretty much every talk show ever, especially the Ellen/Oprah/ Tyra variety: get people on the show, inspire them with your wisdom, then throw in a celebrity who carries a bag that says “Feed the world” and bought some adorable black babies shoes.  Ta da!  Instainspiration!

This video is so sincere, it’s almost hard to make fun of.  It’s just too bad it sounds so much like a common app essay for Talk Show College Admissions:

“I believe I’m very ready and capable of hosting a talk show.  I’ve been interviewed by National Public Radio, NBC 5 News, and other media outlets, including a 30-minute cable special about my life.  I’m very articulate and well spoken.  I love meeting new people and I’m definitely personable.  I have spoken in front of an audience of over 500 people, so crowds will not be a big deal for me at all.”

Well, beloved Ivygate readers? Until next time, BE INSPIRED.

How Will Princeton Grad Meg Whitman Explain Her Princeton Failure Sons in Her California Governor Election?

“If you ask me who I am, my first response is I am my mother’s daughter”

These are the words of Meg Whitman straight from her campaign video. Meg is running for Governor of California. She just won the GOP primary and will be facing Jerry Brown, the California Attorney General who is running a campaign based on his frugal ways (in comparison to Meg’s prodigal spending). Meg’s campaign is based on her leadership skills, years of being a powerful executive, and “cleaning up the mess those politicians have made in Sacramento.” Family is also important for Meg, which is why her two sons must be such a disappointment to her. On her campaign site, Meg mentions her Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum sons Will and Griff:

Meg has committed her energy, her trademark optimism and her belief in fiscal restraint to the challenge of rebuilding California. She has done so with the full support of her family, which is her greatest source of pride. Meg and her husband, Griff, a neurosurgeon at Stanford Hospital, have been married for nearly 30 years. Their two sons are now young adults. Meg and her family are ardent outdoor enthusiasts who love hiking, skiing, fly fishing and enjoying all of California’s natural treasures. “If we let California fail, we all fail,” she says. “And we love California too much to let it fail. We have to work together to make it the place of our dreams again.”

Cute! Her family is going to help her save California from failing! If only her sons could have figured out how not to fail Princeton, get kicked out of boarding schools, and shroud momma’s campaign in the kind of wealthy entitlement we all love to hate. First there was son Griff Harsh V. With such a pretentious, hoity-toity name, can Griffy really be blamed for this alleged quote which Gawker picked up after Griff got suspended from Princeton for a year?

Overheard at Charter [eating club]

Griff Harsh (Meg Whitman’s son) throws beer in Guy’s face.
Guy: You can’t do that to people.
Griff Harsh (points at himself): Billionaire.

Then there’s Will Harsh I. Gawker, ever the Ivy-obsessives, found this out from a tip:

Griff’s non-refundable membership to Cottage [eating club] was paid in full when he got suspended. So some of the officers would let Will attend some meals and formals events in his brother’s place until Will got banned from there.

The story goes that Will yelled “what are all these niggers doing here” one night when all the members of the Black Arts Company where there to celebrate a show they had performed. Cottage is know as one of the whiter clubs on campus so I assume that he was shocked to see so many black people there in a night. He was already on notice with Cottage officers because of an altercation he started with a bouncer early in the year.

Guest-of-a-guest got this equally rumor-based tip about Will:

“He’s just a tool. He was banned from at least one eating club for calling a girl a racial slur. He would pride himself on having several ‘girlfriends’ at one time, and tried unsuccessfully to be a player. He was actually independent (not in an eating club) which I always assumed was because no one wanted him or he was banned. OH and I almost forgot about the time he refused to introduce a girlfriend to his family because she was Jewish, and didn’t meet his standards of intellect. He may have thrown in fat, too. I can’t remember. Really classy.”

Okay. These seem like pretty gossipy rumors, but these stories seem all too indicative of what kind of people Meg Whitman’s sons are. And then, pardon our frequent Gawker references, there’s this possibility that Meg (who is the fourth richest woman in California) is actually getting campaign donors to pay Tweedle Dee (Griff)’s allowance through a mysterious payment to Solamere, a private equity firm that Whitman’s campaign has paid close to $96,000 in the past four months. Interesting. Because Griff used to ‘work’ at Solamere as an ‘analyst’ according to an old Linkedin profile:

Would it really be that out of character for former eBay CEO, current billionare Meg? Well, there was the time she donated $30 million in her name to help build the new Whitman residential college. Of course, according to Meg, it was all for her love of Princeton and excitement to be able to expand the school by 500 students. Or maybe it was just so she could convince Princeton to admit one student: Griff would be applying to Princeton just two years after donation, just in time to live in freshly built Whitman College. Griff had supposedly been kicked out of boarding schools before getting to Princeton, so a little $30 million nudge from Princeton board member mom probably couldn’t have hurt his application.

How will Meg hide her boys from yelling racial slurs or pointing out the obvious fact that they’re richer than most people out there on the campaign trail? Whitman’s already getting criticized for unnecessary spending on the campaign trail, but maybe paying them off or buying them a job would do the trick.

If you know anything further about Will or Griff Harsh (who have pretty amazing internet hiding skills) please send an email to the tip line!

Seriously Shocking SEX Diary Written by Columbia Student

Daily Intel’s new sex diary series recently featured an incredibly shocking sex diary from a gay student at a university in South Harlem (we’ll safely assume it’s Columbia), “The Gay College Kid Trying Everything, and Griping about it“. When Daily Intel says “everything” they really mean “everything”: straight porn, IM sex, older guys, younger guys, adam4adam, craigslist, threesomes, poppers, sex in a dorm room, sex for drugs, sex in Harlem, potential sex with “über-straight” best friend from home.

Mysterious Columbia sexjournalist may not be a prolific writer, but he’s definitely a prolific hooker-upper.  In his week-long diary he hooks up with or gets offered to hook up  Younger Guy, Hung Dominican, a guy from Craigslist with weed, Older Guy, best “über-straight” friend from home, and guy from Adam4Adam (joined later by his boy friend).  Hey, at least he stays safe.  While watching straight porn, sexdiarykid remarks that he is, “eternally jealous that straight guys in porn rarely ever use condoms.”  His next entry (2:50 pm, day one):

Hot guy on the street asks to borrow my lighter. Wish it were socially acceptable to ask if I could borrow his dick.

After day one (in which sexdiarykid wakes up to find youngerguy already gone, discusses preferred dick sizes with his hair dresser in front of a small child, chooses straight porn over hooking up with past hook-up HungDominican who IMs him and says he wants to have sex then go out to dinner and instead goes for a guy from craigslist who offers weed for bj/sex, cuddles and falls asleep with younger guy.)  It doesn’t get really juicy again until day five:

1:20 p.m.: Random older guy on A4A [Adam4Adam] lives very nearby. He messages me, asks if I’m interested. Have a bit of a daddy complex and agree. Says he just wants a quickie, we have to be done before his BF gets home at 2:30. They have an open relationship, but usually agree to play together ahead of time.
2 p.m.: Random older guy is literally about to penetrate me when I hear door open and his boyfriend walks in. Terrified that I’m about to be in the center of big drama. He says it’s fine.
2:05 p.m.: Surprise threesome. Boyfriend asks if he can join, I don’t know what to do but say yes.

I feel dirty just reading this, but I’m pretty sure one good thing can come out of it.  It must be fate that we just reported on other promiscuous gay Ivy Leaguer baring all on the internet.  Mysterious potentially Ivy League gay porn model, meet mysterious sexdiarykid from Columbia.  Match made in Ivy heaven.

Princeton May Ban Greek Life, Become Civilized

Princeton University President Shirley Tilghman recently told the Ink in an interview that she is considering banning all Greek life on campus.  The threat comes in the wake of a series by a recent Daily Princetonian tell-all with some surprising(?) conclusions. Students in fraternities were:

a. Wealthier and whiter than other students on campus.  88% of Greek Life at Princeton is white, 70% of Greeks come from families that make more than $150,000 a year.  Even Tilghman said,

Those [students] who made the decision to participate in the Greek system were essentially engaging in organizations where they were going to meet people very similar to themselves.  It looked and felt a lot like self-segregation. And that was a problem for us.

Tilgman’s thoughts on other, non-keg-stand-related extracurriculars:

You will see students who come out of very selective schools. You will see students who are coming out of public schools. You will see people of different ethnic groups. It looks like America.

Tilghman’s vision of America isn’t of a land run by a bunch of wealthy white me,  like Princeton’s social life? For shame!

b. Frats are populated by barbaric, misogynistic brutes (remember, this is the DP talking. Haha… “DP.”)  John Burford, a whistle-blowing sophomore who rushed SAE as a freshman briefly before jumping ship, gave some colorful descriptions.  Burford was frequently forced to drink excessively; one of his brothers was taken to the hospital with a potentially life-threatening and totally buzz-killing blood alcohol level of o.40. Burford himself must have suffered damage to his stomach lining  (or at least his gag reflex) after his first year;

On average, I threw up once a day for my entire first semester. Not every day, but once or twice a week, I would throw up multiple times.

Burford was sober enough to recall that 5 of the 7 guys in his pledge class were felled by alcohol poisoning during the year.  As part of their pledge duties they were also sent to a strip club where he was treated to the world’s least enjoyable lap-dance:

Surrounded by his pledge brothers and 40 other club patrons, Burford climbed onto the stage and selected a stripper. She removed his shirt, handcuffed him to a tall metal pole in the middle of the stage and began to beat him with a thick leather belt volunteered by one of his pledge brothers.

Kinky. Burford, who also had trouble finishing his assigned tasks, was told to drink a 20-ounce soda bottle full of tobacco spit. This was reputedly a punishment for slacking off during milk-chugging/sprinting bouts; in other words, frat justice.

“Chewing tobacco pretty much instantly makes you throw up … so none of them thought I could do it,” Burford said. Still, he took the bottle and managed to drink all of its contents in one chug.

After pledge “activities” that forced Burford to risk hypothermia by swimming in a freezing lake — and his sanity, by making him listen to rounds of death metal at full volume in a dark, boiling hot room — he finally quit.  Who can be sure of what was going through his head? Maybe he realized that he could make friends, get girls, and be social without having to suffer through barbaric ritual abuse? Or maybe he wanted to join ballroom dancing.

The national Sigma Alpha Epsilon chapter, clearly all gentlemen, conducted a super-serious day-long investigation of hazing at the chapter–and shockingly  found that the allegations were all super-seriously false.  Princeton does not recognize greek life, which means they can’t investigate Burford’s claims or monitor fraternity activity.  In President Tilghman’s words,

I fundamentally believe that it’s impossible to regulate the very things that we are most concerned about with fraternities … which are the excessive alcohol and the hazing.

She’s considering a few options:  recognizing Greek life, suffering through the current status quo, or banning greek life completely by requiring students to sign a pledge not to pledge upon matriculation, which was the university’s policy between 1855 and World War II.  If Burford’s experience tells us anything, it’s that the university absolutely needs a way to police it.  A lot of the discussion in the aftermath of the Daily Princetonian‘s feature centered around a common refrain:  “wait until a student dies–then the Princeton administration will learn its lesson”.  It shouldn’t have to come to that– and besides, kids have already risked their physical and mental health.  John Burford told countless news sources about the illegal activities of the men he used to call “brother”; it’s not too wild to assume that these barbarous bros didn’t like that too much.  Princeton already has exclusive eating clubs–greek life seems excessive.  Even the founding president of Kappa Alpha Theta at Princeton, Mimi Stokes Brown ’85 backs us up;

My personal feeling is that the school doesn’t need them. Between the eating clubs and residential colleges, it just seems unnecessary… I can’t think what value is added by having fraternities and sororities.

Shirley Tilghman was recently the subject of The Ink‘s recurring 21-question interview and when asked to describe, in one sentence, what exactly she does all day, Tilghman says;

I work to ensure that in the future, including tomorrow, Princeton University is fulfilling to the greatest extent possible its potential to transform the lives of its students, and discover new knowledge.

If Tilghman really wants this to be true she has to change her policy.  Non-recognition allows for illegal action to go unchecked.  Banning might work, but frats could continue in secret, or hazing could just get squeezed into other social groups.  Recognition could work if Princeton decides to take full responsibility and monitor fraternity parties and rush activities for fraternities and sororities.  Maybe this would make greek life so lame no one would want to do it.  That might not be a bad thing.