This week on the venerable HuffPost Live, user “gaydood” asked a hard-hitting question: “is sex better at better universities?” Rather than making the correct response of “yes of course! So much good sex all the time always forever!” participants Donny J. of Cornell and Margot Harris of Brown succeeded in perpetuating the Ivy League image of nerds clumsily bumping uglies. They grew immediately uncomfortable and tried passing the question off to each other, with Harris finally claiming she didn’t have enough experience with other schools to have a particular theory. Thanks a ton, guys.
With nothing to go on, the HuffPo moderator went on to ramble about how the smartest people tend not to be the hottest, and when you think of a “sex school,” you tend not to think of the Ivies, so probably….. But, echoing many-a-conversation gal pals around the world have had, Harris jumped in to argue: all us uggos are so insecure that we work that much harder in bed, ok?! Good save.
Earlier in the clip, Donny J. claimed that up at Cornell, everyone’s so “open-minded in general” that it’s a fun, sexy scene. What’s more, after working so hard 5 days of the week, sex becomes “a big go-to” for people looking to relieve stress on the weekends. It’s a coping mechanism–though sex should never be a coping mechanism, Donny clarifies–but like, school is really hard sometimes, you guys. The Ivy League: home to nerds trying that much harder in bed in order to relieve stress.
To close out the segment, Donny J.–who, it must be noted, was wearing a superhero mask to hide his face–did Cornell proud by reminding everyone that sometimes they end up on party school lists. Just your daily reminder that Cornell is that much cooler than you.