This is “The Hottest Guy at Yale,” According to Cosmo

God bless Cosmo and their Bachelor of the Year Contest. Each bachelor featured has an email address and Twitter handle attached, which is super convenient and not at all creepy. Of particular note are the selections for Delaware and Connecticut: Jonathan Champagne, Cornell junior, and Christian Kim, a Yale School of Music student.

Kim (pictured right) is a professional violinist: there’s a joke there about G strings that we’re just too lazy to make right now, sorry. “They’re really very sensitive,” he remarks about his palms, for some reason.

Our favorite part of Mr. Kim’s profile is what his friend had to say about him: “Christian is definitely the hottest guy at Yale.”

Champagne (pictured here) apparently has really sensitive biceps (favorite foreplay move: “having her stroke the inside of my biceps”), but we can’t figure out whether that actually turns him on or whether he just requires constant admiration of his swimmer muscles.

And while we’re glad to know that if IvyGate were ever to bump into Mr. Champagne we should be wearing lingerie that “shows off [our] personality,” we’re disappointed that Cosmo failed to mention that Champagne is “a master masseuse” and a “musical genius”.

(Sidenote: Mr. Champagne may want to do something about his Google search results because avid readers of Cosmo might confuse him with the guy charged with giving “False Info to Secondary Metals Recycler”, a sex offender in Maine, and an Ontario government employee.)

Today’s the last day to vote, and we know you were already on Cosmo’s website looking at their “Sex Position of the Week” (hope there’s linguini involved with that Linguini), so it should be no effort at all.

One Response to “This is “The Hottest Guy at Yale,” According to Cosmo

  1. Anonymous Says:

    The Minnesota bachelor was Harvard class of 2012, on the football team.

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