Dartmouth Student Plans to Sell “Hazing Simulation” for $10

According to a fairly insane website, Dartmouth student Travis Blalock ’12

will walk with you around campus to show where major hazing practices occur and which areas you should avoid. As with any tour, questions are welcome throughout the event and you should feel free to inquire about certain groups in which your child is interested.

Blalock adds: “we are in the exploratory stages of developing a hazing simulation for our tours.” For now, however, Hazing Tours will “work like traditional tours.”

Wow. So it’s both controversial (or edgy! or whatever!) and a complete disappointment. Only ten bucks, though!

Who is Travis Blalock? We have no idea, but (he claims) he’s not against hazing. From the press release we received:

Commenting on the doubts raised by those familiar with the admissions process, Blalock was quick to quell any concerns, noting “Since the exploratory process for an alternative tour company began, I have had incalculable inquiries from prospective students, their families, and alums begging me to reserve them spots on the tour. Never before has there been such distrust in an admissions office and Administration that has focused shamefully more efforts on PR than students.” But Blalock’s tour is not an attack on the admissions office or hazing in general. “I provide facts that these students and their families have a right to know. I don’t tell them that hazing is good or bad. I just tell the truth,” he stated.

Just like Andrew Lohse. God almighty.

18 Responses to “Dartmouth Student Plans to Sell “Hazing Simulation” for $10”

  1. Bivens Says:

    i love it baby

  2. Garbageman Says:

    you post about this trash thats obvious a hoax page written by a borderline psycho? Of all the recent viral sites at dartmouth you could have at least covered whatshouldDcallme.tumblr.com

  3. Gerg Herglertz Says:

    I have no voice. I hope he will speak for me.

  4. JYK Says:

    the quality of ivygate has been embarrassing in the past year. What used to be a good source of Ivy gossip has just become sensationalist and vapid writing. Shame. 

  5. Dervid Jerserph Says:

    This is exactly the type of leadership and action that Dartmouth needs.

  6. Gerg Herglertz Says:

    Dervid, I find your name both offense and immature.

  7. Hugobrent11 Says:

    hahaha it’s funny you don’t recognize a joke

  8. SimpleStumpy Says:

    So IvyGate finds a joke email sent out by one clearly demented student during his senior spring and makes an entire article out of it? Bravo.

  9. Trotter's BF Says:

    Keep talking trash about my BF, loser.

  10. Tersk Nerblerts Says:

    This man should replace JYK!

  11. KM Says:

    This service is perfect for me! I hear that houses like Sigma Phi Epsilon and Beta Alpha Omega have no real pledge term, but that is not why I applied early decision to the Big Green. I want to attend this prestigious institution so that I can be hazed while joining a fraternity, abuse new members once I’m a brother, and then get a high-paying job in finance after graduation through my fraternity connections.  I expect Hazing Tours to be an integral part in making the biggest decision I will make at Dartmouth – which fraternity to join – if I am even fortunate enough to get a spot on one of their tours (before the administration tries to shut them down, as I expect they will). Thank you Travis Blalock! I am sorry that you will be gone by the time I begin at Dartmouth.
    Kurt Mackenzie
    Dartmouth College class of 2016

  12. Lorne Michaels Says:

     Hilarious!!!! You should write for SNL!!!

  13. poung yuck Says:

    Finally, a tour that will show us the truth behind Dartmouth’s heinous hazing practices.

  14. lbv Says:

    clearly ivygate does not understand satire

  15. LIkeWe'reNotAll Says:

    That’s it…

  16. Blalock's Biggest Fan Says:

    Travis Blalock is an American hero, a campus icon, a man’s man, a god among men, a prophet, a gift from God

  17. CitizenWhy Says:

    Really, Ivy guys should start a club in NYC offering hazing simulations as well as other “Ivy Experiences” (except for academic) and entertainments. It should be a big hit with the private school kids, tourists, senior citizens, and coke-crazed traders calling themselves investment bankers. Naughty Naughty.

  18. Andy Marlette Says:

    Really? Taking shots of saltwater and swimming in a kiddie pool filled with food is hardly hazing! I am an SAE; I was initiated in Louisiana and I can tell you from experience, that is not hazing.

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