Four of the “Columbia Five” Turn Down No-Jail Plea Deals

When we last left the Operation Ivy League saga, the undercover cop who busted the Columbia University drug dudes was getting busted for his own illegal activities. (By the way, I wonder how those court testimonies will play out for Mr. Palase … My money’s on “really awkward.”)

So here are the latest developments, courtesy of the great people at Bwog (check them out for full coverage of the court hearings):

The State, citing the defendants’ lack of criminal records and non-violent personalities, recommended plea deals for all of the defendants: If Coles, Klein, Wymbs, and Perez would plead guilty to a class-D felony they would be sentenced to 5 years probation, but no jail time. David would plead guilty to a B-2 felony and get 1 year of jail time.

The defense rejected these pleas, out of concern that a felony conviction could make it almost impossible for them to get admitted to another university and eventually find good jobs. 

Yes, exactly, because if these guys manage to wiggle out of felony convictions, I’m sure that universities and employers all across the country will be welcoming them with open arms, since the hundreds of articles written about their drug escapades aren’t searchable by Google or anything …

Seriously, though, they’re giving you the option of no jail time! Take the offer! These guys are the same types of people that I yell at whenever I’m watching Deal or No Deal in my living room:

“Just take the money and run, you idiot! The banker’s giving you a good deal! The odds are against you! NOOOOO!”

Additionally, the attorneys for the Columbia Five are arguing that their clients sold drugs to fund their own drug addictions, rather than to make a profit, and are seeking a “diversion of treatment.”

… Riiight. Well, in any event, we hope that these young men have damn good lawyers. I’m talking about “Jackie Chiles from Seinfeld” good. They’re going to need it.


4 Responses to “Four of the “Columbia Five” Turn Down No-Jail Plea Deals”

  1. Anonymous Says:

    I guess the moral of the story is “Check yo’self before you wreck
    yo’self,” or maybe “Don’t screw with Columbia.” I’m not really sure …
    I’m too busy laughing hysterically.
     NYC Hotels

  2. disgusted reader Says:

    Brezak, not only did you fail to do any diligence in reporting this story, but you didn’t even take the time to read the summary of the court proceedings that BWOG gave…The lack of effort in a story that as you say will impact these men regardless of the outcome of their trials is shameful for you and IvyGate. I hope your future employers see how little effort you put into your work…

  3. Corey Brezak Says:

    Hey everybody, here’s another hilarious clip of Jackie Chiles from Seinfeld. Enjoy! //

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