The Greater Dartmouth Drug/Alcohol Crackdown: Four Frats and Two Sororities May Face Criminal Charges… Tomorrow?

Boredatbaker gave sketchy testimony… We investigated, and now have multi-source confirmation: the beleaguered Dartmouth greek system is probably in a world of trouble. What we know for sure is that executives of six Greek houses have met with police regarding underage alcohol provision and also, allegedly, the recent SAE DartCoke scandal. Now, the popo are flexing their legal muscles, preparing to press charges. The busted bros and gals?

Fraternities: Alpha Chi Alpha, Chi Gamma Epsilon, Phi Delta Alpha, and Alpha Delta.

Sororities: Epsilon Kappa Theta and Sigma Delta.

UPDATE: The Tabard, a coed house, is also under investigation.

While reports vary, it’s clear that at least a few of the houses, if not all, will be charged Monday with serving alcohol to minors. Some houses have, according to one source, taken precautions and cut back, checking IDs at the door, but others just “couldn’t give a shit.” Cavalier indeed.

Just when we thought the Dartmouth party scene was out of the woods and that anti-frat manifestos were unnecessary, the Hanover Police get all blustery once again, and the specter of intense bakerboredom looms… Apparently, if these charges stick, the houses will be hit with a smattering of pricey fines, perhaps closing houses and driving drinking underground. Well, if so, thanks for the memories and the lolz, Dartmouth greeks. And also the coke.

Personally, we don’t understand how a school with vomit-parties (“Convention,” look for our coverage soon) and an almost-exclusively frat-based social scene can possibly weather these kneejerk Hanover Police, not to mention the crunchy, anti-bro opposition. While distinctively unfratty schools like Yale and Columbia enjoy police more likely to do a shot with you than shut you in the slammer, the Ivy League’s few Grecophiles get busted for open containers at best. Well, and also the coke. Still, seems counterintuitive… We’ll let you know as the story develops.

APPLY TO GUEST EDIT: Summer Blogging, Happened So Fast

Since IvyGate’s ignominious inception, its muckraking and fun-making have always been spruced up by a little variation. Fuck “too many cooks.” Out with the old, in with the new, that’s what we say. Melting pots, marketplace of ideas, we are the one’s we’ve been waiting for, all that jazz — at least for now. In this spirit, we’re happy to announce the return of our vaunted Guest Editor program. (Basically, a way of tricking gullible but talented people into temporarily running this shitshow/site and bearing the weight of commenter adoration, while we slack off and work on our tans.)

Yes, you heard us right: it’s the tentative beginning of IvyGate Summer Session.

How it works: During June, July, and August, Alex “Yalien” Klein and Dan “PRETTY Dan” D’Addario will step aside (both in London, coincidentally, the former at The Times, and the latter, teaching) into advice and consent roles, while Guest Editors run the site, top-to-bottom. Look for great stuff from new folks, as well as a sprinkling of the tried-and-true.

The important part: We have a month in mind that is as wide-open as Harvard to kids with made-up resumes. We’re currently looking for Guest Editors for the month of June. If you think you’ve got what it takes to plug this leaky vessels for a whole lunar cycle — pizazz, lack of shame, jokes, internet mastery, journalistic experience(?), a sunny disposition — let us know, and we’ll send over (easy) application details.

For glory and gossip:

With love,

Alex and Dan

Is Adam Wheeler Commenting on the Crimson Website?

Hey, remember Adam Wheeler, the entrepreneurial youth who lied his way into Harvard? He’s moved on from the big-time heists to the small-time, like the bored Ray Liotta at the end of GoodFellas — if Ray Liotta posted anonymous screeds praising himself on newspaper comment boards. On this Crimson article, a commenter named “Dr. Dennis Farbson” claims personal familiarity with Wheeler:

have known Wheeler during his unfortunate tenure at Harvard College. Although I can’t speak on all the criticisms leveled against him, I have known him to be a brilliant scholar of the highest distinction. We have worked closely on a number of topics, and I can attest that his wit is spontaneous and adaptive. I highly doubt he would need to embellish his accomplishments.

“Farbson” also references the “Bolsheviks” and “Admissions Politburo” in calling for a more egalitarian admissions system and concludes:

This is mistake of the worst degree. Harvard has lost the nation’s confidence in its preeminence.

Okay, sure, “Dr. Dennis Farbson!” But! There are no Google hits for “Dennis Farbson,” as a commenter pointed out. “Dennis” replied:

Great work Commissar Google! It’s a pseudonym, you dolt.

Read the rest of this entry »

UPDATE on DartCoke Scandal

Egg is on our faces as we realize that Clark Warthen was arrested not for cocaine use but for witness tampering connected to the event. We apologize — and we hear unconfirmed rumors that the witness tampering charge stems from Warthen and Andrew Lohse (arrested for cocaine possession AND witness tampering) burning a desk that police informant, Phil Aubart, was building. No word yet from Aubart!

Three Dartmouth Students Arrested After Frat Bro Turns Them In

We’ve received several emails about the Dartmouth cocaine arrests; serves us right for falling asleep before midnight last night (summer has begun, no?). Brian Shea ’10 and Andrew Lohse ’12  were arrested on Wednesday for allegedly using cocaine in a Sigma Alpha Epsilon common room — per The Dartmouth, the cocaine use was reported to the police by a SAE member. Update: Clark Warthen ’10 was also arrested for witness tampering related to the event.

“This being a small school, I know at least two of the men involved,” writes one Dartmouth student:

Lohse is a broish dude, wears the traditional New England prep school uniform of flannel and boat shoes. Warthen seems like the stereotypical Southern gentleman, but you’d definitely expect him to party hard like they do in the southern state schools.

The tipster also cites BoredatBaker to bolster his belief that Phil Aubart, D ’10, tipped off the police:

Aubart is a senior, very straight-laced kind of guy. He’s in the ROTC and has a very bad rep on campus for being so goody two shoes. No idea if this is true or not, but it makes sense and everyone’s arrived at this conclusion for obvious reasons.

Another source confirms that a “military/ROTC, pretty straight-laced” student — fitting Aubart’s profile — reported the cocaine use, leading to the arrests. We’ve contacted Aubart; stay tuned.

Harvard’s “15 Hottest Freshmen” Seize Power in Bloodless, Contentless Coup

The Harvard Crimson‘s weekly magazine FM — like The New York Times Magazine, only student-produced and ineffably awkward and absurd — has taken campus journalism to new heights, past tabloid and gossip site, while simultaneously elevating freshman-stalking to a high-art.

Yes, the oglers have crowned Harvard’s 15 Hottest Freshmen, and the results are… well, we’ll let you judge for yourselves. What we can reasonably comment on are the honorees’ somewhat bizarre on-camera behavior. Here’s one of them, on what being named as “beautiful” has done for her self-esteem.

It’s like finding your purpose in life. Before this I was kind of lost, I was like, where do I belong at this school, then I woke up one morning, headed to the bathroom, looked down on the floor and there was an envelope and it was telling me that I was picked for this. It was kind of like something clicked. Like there was a part of me that was over here and another part that was over here and they just kind of… *clicking sound and hand gesture.*

Read the rest of this entry »

Vietnam War Ended 35 Years Ago, Still Claiming Casualties

First of all, Ivygate would like our readers to know that this past month’s content has been primarily brought to you by assholes at Harvard, so a big thank you to them. A special shout-out to the Crimson and their staff, who’s able reporting has made our lives tragically easy for the past few weeks.

However, with all the recent bad press that Harvard “students” have been getting, one would be remiss to think that all this insanity is being consigned to Cambridge. Harvard’s mission after all is to graduate these students and get them the hell out of Boston, letting them unleash their havoc upon the rest of the world. Some accomplish that feat better (ahem, ahem, Lloyd Blankfein) than others.

Despite the fact that this week saw some truly important primary elections, the story dominating the news is Richard Blumenthal (Harvard College ‘67 and Yale Law ‘73), Connecticut Democrat running for the US Senate, and up until a week ago, Vietnam War veteran:

We have learned something important since the days that I served in Vietnam,” Mr. Blumenthal said to the group gathered in Norwalk in March 2008. “And you exemplify it. Whatever we think about the war, whatever we call it — Afghanistan or Iraq — we owe our military men and women unconditional support.” There was one problem: Mr. Blumenthal, a Democrat now running for the United States Senate, never served in Vietnam. He obtained at least five military deferments from 1965 to 1970 and took repeated steps that enabled him to avoid going to war, according to records.

Read the rest of this entry »

Dept. of We Had No Idea: Dartmouth Named the Most Tech-Influential College

The Daily Beast’s “Tech’s 29 Most Powerful Colleges” listicle has Dartmouth at #1, for some reason — ahead of MIT and Caltech, as well as, y’know, everywhere else. The Daily Beast cites the Dartmouth Regional Technology Network as well as Big Green alumni at the helms of Symantec and Ebay. Congratulations to Dartmouth! Now, Hanover types, stop emailing us asking us to cover your school and go, um, work on cloud computing or something.

Harvard: Where You Get In If You Can Lie Well Enough

At this point, we should just start a program at Harvard for people who cheated their way in; these are the future leaders of America, people. If you think a little jail time is going to keep this Jim Halpert look-alike out of a corner office on Wall Street, you must be working at the White House on finance reform.

Adam Wheeler managed to transfer to Harvard as a sophomore, in itself an impressive feat, but made more impressive by the fact that he blatantly fabricated his entire academic career to get in. He told Harvard that he had scored a 1600 on his SATs, attended Phillips Academy and then MIT before deciding to transfer, all the while posting straight-A averages. Apparently, even applicants are above reproach on Harvard Yard, and nobody bothered to check the veracity of any of these claims (making me wonder why I ever had to take the SATs, let alone do well on them), and Wheeler was on course to graduate this year with a degree in English.

So where did he go wrong? The bastard got greedy and applied for Rhodes and Fulbright Scholarships, which necessitated that professors briefly read his CV before writing him the requisite fluff pieces. One of these professors actually looked at his resume, realized that it was really similar bio to another professor’s at Harvard, and blew the whistle. That fake MIT degree comes in handy though, as Wheeler has to be able to count up to twenty, which is the number of indictments he is being slapped with. He’s probably going to do jail time for stealing financial aid money to fund his education spree. For a kid so smart, it seems sort of stupid to blow $45,000+ for two years of skunky beer and pulling all-nighters in the library.

Regardless, now that this kid is on the radar, he’s going to go far. He got into the Ivy League the real fucking way—he picked himself up from his bootstraps, and without the help of Mommy, Daddy and Kaplan SAT review. While he might not have the degree to prove it, Adam Wheeler probably learned more getting into college than most students learn in four years spent there legitimately, so good for him; plus, a story about how you cheated your way into Harvard is always more interesting than a story about how you earned your way into Harvard, so he’s got that going for him, too. Little victories.

Aleksey Vayner Reincarnated as Andover/Harvard Fraudster/D-Bag

Like a real life version of Leonardo DiCaprio’s insufferable character in the insufferable movie Catch Me if You Can, the insufferable Adam Wheeler has burst onto the scene, making Aleksey Vayner seem like small potatoes and Goldman look good.

Wheeler fabricated grades, rec letters and — *nostalgia bomb* — published books in a mad Ivory Tower infiltration scheme. Shooting for the big leagues, he BS-ed his way into Rhodes and Fulbright scholarship applications as well as thousands of dollars in Harvard grant money (endowment stewardship FTW).

It gets worse. Unlike his affirmative-acted and last-name-legacized peers, Wheeler definitely doesn’t deserve to be at Harvard at all; he made up his high school credentials too.

Now the Big Liar On Campus has to contend with 20 criminal charges and will probably have to fabricate a pretty good legal degree. Wheeler’s story — a testament to the analytical prowess of admissions offices and scholarship committees coast-to-coast — is currently lighting up the internets, with comment pages boiling over with anti-Ivy vitriol.

On our part, we’ll cover the story as it develops. So far, we’ve got an alleged tale of his expulsion from Bowdoin of all places, for academic dishonesty, and the fact that many people think he’s hot.

Readers: some of you must have known the guy. Give us the scoop, anonymity guaranteed.