Rush is truly the gift that keeps on giving. Yale’s Pi Beta Phi and Kappa Alpha Theta chapters have finally uploaded their 2010 Rush Videos to YouTube, and boy, are they uplifting. Before the creepy commenters get to them, IvyGate is pleased to present these masterpieces to the discerning Ivy League audience; and of course, to declare a winner.

We’ll start with Pi Phi’s, a heady docudrama entitled “Pi Phi Girl,” which explores–through the lens of Gossip Girl, Mad-Libs, and mid-90’s pop hits–what it truly means to wear the Pi Phi crown. Feast your eyes:

“Right now… let’s see… I, gosh, I have a meeting with President Levin right now, he wants me to help him with this multi-billion dollar fundraising campaign. It’s superrr intense.”

Next we move onto Theta’s more overtly satirical “The T.A.” Some nerd/jock jokes… a bad Snooki impression… etc, yawn, etc… and OH SWEET MOTHER OF GOD THEY’RE CONJURING MAGIC ENERGY BALLS AND SHOOTING THEM AT AN EVIL COW! PLEASE SEE 4:21 IMMEDIATELY:

The time has come for you guys to make your energy balls. Take out your hands and place them in front of you, and think happy thoughts, and it will just come naturally. Don’t force it, Snooki, don’t force it! Think what you love!

After a few moments of speechlessness, we’re comfortable declaring a (totally objective) winner: Pi Phi all the way, baby. Not only have these young ladies provided us with great material in the past (“Heels. PRETTY HEELS.”), but their Rush video hits all the right notes: Snarky Rumpus editors, child brainwashing, Southern accents, sophomores I’ve been in section with, fur, sequins, an awkward unintentional flashing at 5:04, and of course, a “hey guys I heard you were stressed so I bought some cake and Diet Coke!!!!”? Check!

The cute slideshow at the end definitely seals the deal. At the risk of incineration at the hands of Theta’s energy balls, we’re confident in declaring: PPL 4eva guyz!

When not beating out Iowa City for the best college town, Ithaca can get a little dull during its down time. That might explain why a bunch of frat bros have created a new drinking game, now unfortunately available on YouTube. Produced by a vague “Society,” the video borderline Chef Tony infomercial details “Russian Roulette,” which consists of a frisbee, Solo cups, and Cornellians too sober to simply play beer pong or Kings (yes, we’re also wondering why everyone isn’t just piss drunk 24/7 in Ithaca).

After the jump, learn the rules!

Read the rest of this entry »

The last time IvyGate posted about a Harvard boy and his dong, you gagged and begged us to never do it again. But try as we might, we can’t stay away from Harvard or dongs.  Below is a video unofficially titled “Harvard Bros,” starring two mustachioed Havard “bros” rapping about their penises. We’ll just call it “The Dong Song.” According to Abel Acuña, the video’s director, “Harvard Bros” won best music video at the Harvard Undergraduate Film Festival.

According to resident IvyGate film critic (me) the video offers some decent production value but lacks that Cambridge intellectual punch we’ve seen from favorites On Harvard Time. Acuña mentioned to us that he’s all about entertainment, and those VES film studies fools can kiss his Harvardwood ass.

Full disclosure: the latter part of that sentence is largely fabricated. But that doesn’t mean it’s not true. After the jump, more videos from Acuña’s production company Senior Spring. Read the rest of this entry »

Everyone has those moments where your mom gets a screen name or your high school frenemy pokes you and you think, Man, technology is the worst. Along those lines, did you know that the terrorists use social networking sites too? True story! It appears that Al Qaeda has been distributing training manuals with instructions for would-be terrorists on how to use digital platforms to accomplish their, erm, goals.

Columbia will use any excuse to throw a capital-S Summit, so in a few weeks the Law School will host Facebook, Google, YouTube, MTV, Howcast, Access 360 Media and the U.S. State Department to discuss the “best ways to use digital media to promote freedom and justice, counter violence, extremism, and oppression”:

These young leaders will form a new group, the Alliance of Youth Movements, which will produce a field manual for youth empowerment. The field manual will stand in stark contrast to the Al Qaeda manual on the basics of terrorism, found by Coalition Forces in Iraq… [It] will form the cornerstone of a much larger online “hub,” where emerging youth organizations can access and share “how-to” guides and tips on using social-networking and other technologies to further their causes.

The Howcast press release doesn’t provide details on what exactly in the terrorism manual requires an in-kind response, but the forum was specifically inspired by an anti-FARC Facebook group that helped organize millions of Colombians to demonstrate against the guerrilla organization. Whoopi Goldberg, Facebook co-founder Dustin Moskovitz and MSNBC’s Luke Russert are scheduled to speak. Read the rest of this entry »

Last week, my co-editor Robyn waxed on about the awesomeness of Alexander Dominitz’s “95 Theses,” a parody (and a marked improvement on) Jay-Z’s “99 Problems”. This week I bring you Max Lanman’s “Brangelina”, a tongue-in-cheek commentary on the rising popularity of celebrity adoptions.

According to the Yale Daily News, Lanman – who is a junior at Yale – read an story entitled “Brangelina” in People, and it “amused Lanman so much that he was compelled to write a song, and after that, direct a music video.” The music video has catchy backing beats, high production values, and features copious amounts of semi-disturbing pelvic thrusts.

Is “Brangelina” better than “95 Theses”? Yalies, readers: weigh in!

Oh, God, this is almost too awesome to bear:

“If you havin’ Church problems then don’t blame God, son…
I got ninety-five theses but the Pope ain’t one.”

It’s not a new joke, taking Jay-Z’s “99 Problems” and using it to reference Martin Luther, but Writer-Director Alexander Dominitz, Yale ‘09, creates such a flawless music video from the concept that I don’t effing care.  For real, Yale’s student run Bulldog Productions has rolled out one of the most hilarious YouTube videos that I’ve seen in a long time.  Except for the opening sequence, “95 Theses” was shot on Yale’s campus, mostly in Saybrook, Branford and Davenport Colleges.  The costumes were courtesy of the Yale Theater Department.  And yes, those old guys are professors.

Oh, and just in case the talent and vision it took to pull off this amazing little video aren’t already making you sick with jealousy, Yale actually paid for the production, which received the Peter Schtack Fund for Filmmaking (granted by the Master and Dean of Saybrook College).  So next time you’re using school funding to conduct research that involves way too many hours of Excel spreadsheets and SPSS, remember that the cool kids at Yale are getting funding to make badass historically-accurate rap videos.  Damn you, cool kids, damn you.

You can also check out their website for cast bios and more information: 95ThesesRap.com.

We all know it’s tough being an Ivy League conservative, what with elites and communists and feminists at every step, and tougher still to stand up tall and proud and confess your love for that be-lipsticked pitbull from the North, Alaska Governor Sarah Palin (doncha know hahaha *wink* hahaha). Enter Harvard Men For Palin, who are not afraid to sing from every corner of campus, YES! I love this woman! with “A Summer Surprise,” now on the YouTube.

(Harvard Men For Palin are actually the Harvard Democrats, but the concept and execution is pretty believable if you don’t listen too closely — after all, Obama Girl was real.)

Like all great power ballads, the chorus tugs at one’s heartstrings: Read the rest of this entry »

At college, you can do anything. You could learn a new language, play a new instrument, start a blog! You could even to learn to juggle, and find dozens of like-minded juggle-people to toss bricks and balls and bowling pins through the air with you. And that brings us to the most glorious YouTube channel I have ever encountered, PJuggling, home of Princeton’s official juggling team.

To whet your appetite, I present first a promotional video for a PJuggling show apparently themed on Freud’s Interpretation of Dreams. A boy in a plaid shirt wanders into a men’s lavatory, only to find every stall occupied by a short man tossing tiny balls in the air, a creepily knowing smile dancing across his lips. The boys attempts to leave the lavatory, but the ball-tossing man blocks the exit! A cornucopia of bizarre imagery later, the boy awakens and finds a phallus in his bed.

After the jump, however, things get even better. How could such a thing be possible, you ask? Clues: Simian Mobile Disco’s “I’m a Hustler Baby.” Lip syncing. Break dancing. Yo-yo. The robot.

Read the rest of this entry »

Since upstate New York is the one place where hockey players are kind of a big deal, Cornell’s men’s hockey team kindly offers its star power to a Cornell Senior Prom ad featuring a fully choreographed locker room rendition of N’Sync hit “Bye Bye Bye.” Though sadly lacking shower scenes- and I’m still not sure whether that soulpatch is part of the costume or in earnest- there’s much lifting of shirts, stroking of abs, and awkward shimmying of shoulders, which is good enough for me.

When we last  wrote about intrepid On Harvard Time reporter Derek Flanzraich, he was interviewing American hero Frances Martel. This time he’s upped the ante, and somehow got Karl “they stamped my passport to let me into Massachussetts” Rove to appear on the program. Needless to say, Flanzraich didn’t lob softballs. Watch the video below. He asks Rove to help him celebrate Gaypril! Gaypril! (via Wonkette)