What do you get when you combine “The Lord of the Rings” and Beyonce Knowles. Apparently just one more reason not to buy a class ring.

Below you’ll find a new video generating some buzz at Harvard. Produced by Senior Spring — purveyors of other fine films such as “The Dong Song” — the clip tells the tale of three Harvard seniors who really want their buddy to buy a class ring. It’s supposed to double as an advertisement for the rings, but we’re not really sure if it achieves the desired effect.

The rundown: One dude speaks like Gollum. Three perform the “Single Ladies” dance. They’re all hamming it up to high, holy hell. And, it’s a little bit too much, you know? Parts of the video are funny, but they’re married to even more moments where you’re supposed to laugh just because somebody’s chewing the scenery by pretending to cry, or smiling at the camera, or doing something else equally grating and stupid. (Playing Gameboy is hilarious? OK, whatever.)

Anyway, nice try, and everything, but no thank you. And, please, the “Single Ladies” bit was done several times better — if not with the same accuracy — by a seven-footer in Ithaca last May.

Last week Natalie Raps captured the hearts and imaginations of Cornell’s caffein-addled masses with a video in which she raps. The clip was the centerpiece of her bid for Student Assembly president. And her bold decision to strike away from substance in her campaign in favor of YouTube memery paid off, because she won!

According to the Daily Sun:

Raps explained her plans for the coming year include having a strong agenda, and ensuring the S.A.’s ability to implement change.

So, in a nutshell: Raps bold agenda for change includes setting an agenda, and making change. This focus on the salient details will surely serve her well in a position made most famous for not actually doing anything. (Unless it involves a cappella, and then all bets are off.)

We at IvyGate are cynical people. And ordinarily when Princeton students decide to film themselves acting like fools in public places, we have no problem whipping out said enormous cynicism and cockslapping them with it. But even we occasionally feel genuine emotions, and this video made by the Princeton swim team for their sick teammate has made us feel–dare we say it–gooey.

The video features members of the swim team in various states of undress and/or various colors of J. Crew pullover, all lip-syncing to Katy Perry’s “Teenage Dream.” If all this weren’t on behalf of teammate Daniel Hasler, we’d all be asking ourselves why the swim team is doing water ballet and making cardboard construction hearts instead of, oh, swimming. But given the context, we’re wondering instead whether Hasler is some kind of sex slave.

…Which would not be a bad thing at all, frankly, considering some of those washboard abs. Our heart grew three sizes today. Or at least, something grew three sizes. Check out the video below (and make sure to stay tuned for the hilarious outtakes at the end):

IvyGate readers, we’re about to save your social lives. You can thank us later. Well, you can thank us later if you can still access your computer, because the Social Media Sobriety Test might alternatively decide that you’re too much of a drunken fool to use the Internet.

The Firefox plugin, which was launched last week, forces you to pass simple tests to “prove you’re sound of mind” before you can log onto Facebook and tell your freshman-year boyfriend that his new girlfriend looks like a wombat with a bad haircut. Users choose their “hours of intoxication” and the sites they know they should stay away from, and voilà, an instant beer buffer.

So far the plugin works like a charm, albeit a slow charm that takes so long to load that most drunk people would probably just fall asleep first. That must be part of the strategy.

But make no mistake: this program means business. IvyGate gave it a test run in the middle of the afternoon (we need to be protected from ourselves 24/7, so it’s not that weird), and we have to say, it’s hard. We swear we weren’t drunk. But trying to count steadily to thirty seconds when a bear in a party hat keeps rolling by holding a sign that says “8”? That’s like trying to tell the difference between your third and fourth toes without looking at them.

On the one hand, this is good news for all of us, and more importantly for everyone who knows us. No more late night trips down stalker lane. No more tweeting stupid shit like “I can’t find my feet” or “@FratBoyJohn you have weird nipples ha haha haah.” No more singing along to “Chocolate Rain” at 3am with the speaker volume cranked up to 150 decibels. No more Facebook-messaging the male college dean to ask him if he’s pregnant.

On the other hand, though, we suspect we might be shooting ourselves in the foot by posting this. Drunk college students are our favorite kind of people, and if everyone just went to bed every time they got crapulous, our jobs would probably be a lot harder. And what if you’re just a genuine idiot? No Facebook after 10pm? Morons, take heed.

Stephen Colbert presumably has a long list of People He Really Shouldn’t Insult on National Television (Oprah, Jesus, RuPaul). Add to that list N. Gregory Mankiw, the Harvard economics professor and mega-expensive textbook writer who used to work for the Bush administration. Attack Mankiw in public, and he’ll retaliate with the most terrifying weapon currently known to man: sober Ivy League improv.

A group of students from the Harvard sketch comedy group Respectably French recently took aim at Colbert, after the TV host slammed an op-ed that Mankiw had written in the New York Times about tax cuts. The group filmed a video response to Colbert’s attack and posted it to YouTube, where it’s now been viewed by the members of Respectably French and their mothers about 500 times apiece.

If you’ve taken Introductory Microeconomics (and are able to stay awake through YouTube clips longer than twelve seconds), you might actually find their video pretty funny. Everyone else, good luck:

Colbert, at least, thought it was funny enough to send a reply to Mankiw and his squadron of student defenders a few days later. His reply:

[CENSORED BY RESPECTABLY FRENCH, WHO THINK THEY SHOULD RESPECT COLBERT'S PRIVACY. IVYGATE RESPECTS NO ONE'S PRIVACY, BUT WE DON'T LIKE LAWSUITS.]

One has to wonder how Respectably French was coerced by wiretapping CIA operatives into filming was able to film Mankiw’s response in person. IvyGate tracked down Eric Brewster—the bro in the middle—to ask him how it went down. Said Brewster:

I pitched him the idea after class and he said he’d be willing to give the script a read…Prof. Mankiw approved the script over the weekend without demanding any changes and offered up an hour of his time for filming that Monday. He has a great sense of humor—especially for a dismal scientist—and took the self-deprecating jokes in stride. I’m sorry to inform you that he couldn’t have been less of a diva—he was extremely patient and jovial.

Maybe not a diva, but definitely a man with rich-guy leisure time. Colbert took him to task on TV for whining that higher taxes would “make him work less,” to quote the title of his article. If that’s the case, filming YouTube videos on work days could only be the beginning of his new high-tax lifestyle, which no doubt will include travails like getting his cuticles trimmed and advocating the legalization of crack rocks like some of his colleagues. We await his guest spotlight on South Park.

Acafella and new Whiffenpoof tap Scott McCreary just skewered multi-million-viewed YouTube phenomenon Sam Tsui… on his birthday no less! The parody video takes the crooner and his producer’s trademark trope — twee song-covers from digitally multiplied clones — to its logical extreme, and is actually pretty funny. As Yale’s most famous student celeb, the affable Sam was well-poised for parody: one of the Scotts shows up in a Duke’s Men shirt (Sam’s acapella group), and the video’s posted under the account ‘MattHugoSlotkin’ (Sam’s account and his producer’s name: ‘KurtHugoSchneider‘).

The video itself is pretty rollicking, and involves far, far too many acapella clones fighting one another for dominance, as well as some impressive digital/audio manipulation from fellow Yalies Matt Slotkin and Ellis Ludwig-Leone.

Here’s what irony-illiterate YouTube commenters think:

ShamuPanda Wow, this video is purely a ripoff of Sam’s. The singing is not even good and there were just way too many “clones”. The video was sloppy and you need to put some shoes on if you are going to be in a trashcan. I can’t believe a Yale student would create something so disorganized. I hope this isn’t a representation of your academic work.

Take a look and a laugh below:

And check out Sam’s original internet sensation Michael Jackson cover (6,339,729 views and counting) after the jump, for comparison:

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Every now and again, we over here at IvyGate — purely in the interests of town-criership and good fun — repost some juicy nugget of self-promotional multimedia, fresh from the minds of uppity Ivy League resume-hounds. Then, for reasons unbeknownst to us, after these videos — which were created for the express purpose of exposure, marketing, back-slapping etc. — go online, receive ten-thousand-or-so viewer eyeballs, and subsequently rebound across the web, their creators inexplicably pull the content! (and threaten to sue us! whoa!).

We graciously gave Vayner’s video resume the attention it deserved; he pulled the footage and called the lawyers! Now tons of people know about the controversy, but have never even seen the masterwork that sparked it… Oh, and we helped the Pi Phi video reach national renown; they took it offline! Honestly, it all smacks of ingratitude to one’s fellow man/blogger…  All we’re trying to do is spread the good word!

And, with that in mind, we’re pleased to present two of our all-time Ivy Video Faves, back online after languishing for far too long. Happy viewing after the jump!

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Many words could describe this video: fierce, belt-tastic, ironic, adorable, zomg, etc. We’ll just go with hilarious:

Let’s just say that the Yale and Cornell Sams are in for a fight. This consummate Columbia acapella diva means business.

Yale YouTube celebrity, a-cafella, and theatrical all-star Sam Tsui is about to put his money where his 6 million views are: the diminutive, Disney-Channel-ready vocal savant is auditioning for Fox’s hit show, “Glee.” Television’s most insufferable show is holding an open casting call, and honestly, we think Sam’s got one hell of a shot (although, as card-carrying Tsui-groupies, we think he could do a lot better…) Here’s his audition video below:

After the jump, Cornell’s Glee-wannabe, insect-lover Samuel Ramsey ’11, gives Tsui a run for his money:

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