Yale Crew Team Wishes You A Very Merry (Naked) Christmas

Tipster:

I see Yale’s freshman rowing team have a great christmas postcard …

http://imgur.com/xZx2W [Ed: NSFW! NSFW!]

Censored version below. (Further reading here.)

Season’s greetings everyone!

Liane Membis Reappears with Article About Ivy Leaguers

We recently noticed that Liane Membis — the Yalie who was fired in June for planting made-up quotes in the Wall Street Journal — published an article on Thursday at Dominion New York (“the online magazine of black New York,” according to Twitter) about two Barnard sophomores:

Twin sisters Ogor and Ngozi Ogehdo, both 20-years-old and now Barnard College students left the public school system behind after elementary school for lots of reasons. They considered returning to attend a specialized high school, but chose not to because they believed they’d be happier and in a more diverse environment at a private school.

Good for her, we think! Picking yourself up after failure is never easy. Just ask Jonah Lehrer. And while we’re still waiting for someone to explain Membis’s strange post-firing dissembling, we have to agree with her Twitter bio: “Failure is not fatal.”

This Amazing Video is Nathan Harden’s Technicolor Nightmare

Previously.

VIDEO: Peter Salovey is Yale’s Next President

NEW HAVEN — In a unanimous decision by the Yale Corporation, Provost Peter Salovey has been selected as the next President of Yale University.

The announcement came in a rather secretive, almost-closed-to-everyone-but-the-YDN press conference (reporters from lesser publications could be seen loitering outside the McDougal Center of the Hall of Graduate Arts and Sciences, where the event was held). Salovey, who is known for his (no longer) mustache first and professional accomplishments second, will assume the post beginning June 30th.

According to the most carelessly done Google search in history, Salovey has previously served as Dean of Yale College and the Graduate School of Arts and Sciences, owns a Havanese dog, and is married to Marta Moret, president of Urban Policy Strategies, LLC and ’84 Graduate of the School of Public Health.

In his acceptance speech, Salovey posed the question “What kind of Yale do you imagine?” which really encapsulated his vision for “a more unified Yale, a more innovative Yale, a more accessible Yale, and a more excellent Yale.” After the announcement, what we assumed to be various Corporation fellows and Yale society luminaries (including Yale’s Favorite Son, Brandon Levin) lined up to shake Salovey’s hand and congratulate him. The general feeling from the crowd was one of excitement, relief, and speculation as to whether or not the mustache would make a comeback.

Yale Football’s Worst Year Ever — Voter Fraud Edition!

Yale football is having the worst year ever—for reasons entirely unrelated to the actual game of football. As The Crimson reported a month ago, the Bulldogs have lately been rather scandal-prone. Most recently:

In January, the New York Times reported that quarterback Patrick Witt ’12 lost his Rhodes candidacy due to a sexual assault allegation raised by a classmate.

In May, captain Will McHale’s ’13 gave a former Yale Daily News sports editor fourteen 14 stitches in a bar fight.

And now this new impropriety: yesterday, former lineman Pat Moran ’12 resigned from his father’s Congressional re-election campaign after James O’Keefe recorded him plotting to cast 100 fraudulent ballots.

Oy. It’s almost like Yale would be better off not having a football team.

This is “The Hottest Guy at Yale,” According to Cosmo

God bless Cosmo and their Bachelor of the Year Contest. Each bachelor featured has an email address and Twitter handle attached, which is super convenient and not at all creepy. Of particular note are the selections for Delaware and Connecticut: Jonathan Champagne, Cornell junior, and Christian Kim, a Yale School of Music student.

Kim (pictured right) is a professional violinist: there’s a joke there about G strings that we’re just too lazy to make right now, sorry. “They’re really very sensitive,” he remarks about his palms, for some reason.

Our favorite part of Mr. Kim’s profile is what his friend had to say about him: “Christian is definitely the hottest guy at Yale.”

Champagne (pictured here) apparently has really sensitive biceps (favorite foreplay move: “having her stroke the inside of my biceps”), but we can’t figure out whether that actually turns him on or whether he just requires constant admiration of his swimmer muscles.

And while we’re glad to know that if IvyGate were ever to bump into Mr. Champagne we should be wearing lingerie that “shows off [our] personality,” we’re disappointed that Cosmo failed to mention that Champagne is “a master masseuse” and a “musical genius”. Read the rest of this entry »

Institutional Ethics: ROTC, Yale, and the T in LGBT

I’ve always thought that being Vice President of the U.S. is the best job in America; there’s a six-figure salary, great healthcare benefits, and an excellent pension plan (and only three constitutional duties, to boot)—what’s not to love?

One of the more important tasks a prospective VP has to complete is to argue with his rival in an internationally televised debate (though, in general, the outcome rarely has much of an effect on the presidential race itself). This year’s spectacle, however, felt different—the two men both appeared more presidential than their running mates. Whatever your political orientation, I’m sure that we can agree that the proceedings threw the opposing parties into stark relief, and also that the incompatibilities in ideology were clearly articulated.

Which, in a roundabout way, brings me to my point: Military law as embodied by the return of the Reserve Officers Training Corps (ROTC) to Yale—which discriminates against transgendered individuals—is similarly incompatible with Yale’s stated nondiscrimination policies.

ROTC has had a long and storied history at Yale. The first units were established in 1926, just a few years after the end of World War I. ROTC left the university in 1972, amid the radicalism and anti-military sentiments of the Vietnam War era. It had remained banned in more recent years in opposition to Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell (DADT), the policy that prohibited gays from serving openly; however, when President Barack Obama repealed that law, the Yale Corporation saw fit to officially allow ROTC units back on campus.

It now appears, however, that the administration forgot to read the fine print: though DADT did allow gays to serve openly in the military, it didn’t affect the existing policy that bans transgender individuals from service. Read the rest of this entry »

A Truck Filled With Fish Crashed Into A Yale Building

Earlier today, a fish delivery on the Yale University campus went awry when a truck crashed into the modernist Loria Center for the History of Art. The Yale Daily News reports that around 10 a.m. the driver of a Connecticut Shellfish Company delivery truck carrying shrimp, lobster meat and haddock fillets lost control of his vehicle. The truck subsequently crashed into the front entrance of the Loria Center and shattered a glass door, according to the YDN.

No one was injured in the accident, except for the driver’s pride. As he told the YDN, “I’m embarrassed, that’s all.”

As Deadspin points out, there is a certain poetry to this particular delivery truck crashing into this particular building, which is named after Yale alum Jeffrey Loria, owner of the Miami Marlins. Besides the amusing coincidence of a fish truck denting a fish team owner’s building, there may also be a deeper meaning about the state of the baseball team (the Marlins are currently 67-91).

Yale Junior To Be On ‘Who Wants To Be A Millionaire’

This is so much cooler than College Week on Jeopardy!: Yale junior Joey Yagoda will make his television debut on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire this coming Monday, October 1, and Tuesday, October 2. (A.K.A. tonight and tomorrow).

Yagoda is currently the treasurer for the Yale College Council and an Ethics, Politics, and Economics major, so this kid really likes money (we hope that he’s in a room somewhere rolling around naked in all the piles of cash he’s handling). The viewing party for this should be killer and I really hope the douchebag who blurts out the answer to Yagoda’s last question is promptly beaten with a stack of benjamins. Coincidentally, Monday is also Yagoda’s birthday so we sincerely hope that the party includes some variation of this game. (Replace Regis with Meredith).

Yagoda told us he taped the show in the midst of shopping period, resulting in possibly the best excuse ever for missed classes.

“I didn’t have much time to train because I had to shop classes. Since I only found out the day before classes started that I had to shoot it that week, I basically had the most insane shopping period ever, sending e-mails to professors asking about the application process to get into their seminars and also mentioning that I wouldn’t be able to attend seminar the next week because I had to be on Millionaire.” Read the rest of this entry »

Yale Students Have Sex, According to Playboy

Playboy Magazine, the foremost authority on sex, has named Yale University as one of the colleges with the “Best Sex Life”. We assume they’re referring to your regular ol’ mom-and-pop sex; no word yet on what the gays are up to (yet!). But if we’re to believe the old “1 in 4″ adage, they’re doing pretty well for themselves. [Ed: It was 1 in 3 the last time we checked heard.]

But what does this mean? Playboy doesn’t really explain the methodology behind their “Best Sex Life” rankings, so we can only guess at how they arrived at such groundbreaking analysis. Are they referring to frequency of sexual encounters? Quality of coitus? Riveting and engaging pillow-talk? Have Yale students finally learned their lesson from Maria Yagoda?

That noise you hear is the collective wail of virgins crying in the library.