Yalies Need To Work On Their Humor, Common Human Decency

Hate to burst your bubble...

Hate to burst your (prizewinning economic) bubbles…

Generally when a Nobel Prize-winning economist—like, say, Robert Schiller—agrees to teach a 400 person course to a bunch of 18-year-olds—like, say, the Yale Introductory Macroeconomics class—the 18-year-olds in question sit back, shut up, and bask in the knowledge.

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Classism: It’s at Yale, and Not Hard to Find

“I believe that talking about socioeconomic status is one of the last taboos among Yale students,” Yale President Peter Salovey said in his Freshman Address this fall. As if in response to this call, Yale Alumni Magazine showcased class in their January/February issue, declaring on the cover:

“Yale College seeks smart students from poor families. They’re out there—but hard to find.”

Nope, this isn’t a parody of Yale stereotypes—it’s really a thing they thought was OK to put in big letters.

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86 Yale SigEp Brothers Sued For 2011 Accident

All 86 former and current Yale students who were members of Sigma Phi Epsilon in 2011 have been sued by the victims of a fatal driving accident at the tailgate for the Yale-Harvard game in November of that year. Brendan Ross, Y’13, was driving a U-Haul filled with kegs to the tailgate when he struck three women, injuring two—Sarah Short, SOM’13, and Elizabeth Dernbach—and killing one, Nancy Barry.

Since then, Barry’s estate and Short have worked toward toward a large settlement (specifically, upwards of a million dollars) on the tragic collision. The cases against the students, filed individually by both parties, are the latest in their series of suits filed over the last two years, which have also charged Yale, New Haven, U-Haul, and Ross himself.

After some nice legal footwork from the national SigEp association, these 86 members—including those who were at the tailgate and those who weren’t—have been individually sued. Per the YDN:

National Sigma Phi Epsilon Director of Risk Management Kathy Johnston said in a deposition that, legally, the local chapter and national association have nothing to do with each other. Furthermore, the national fraternity’s insurance — Liberty Mutual of Boston — does not cover actions by the local chapter.

The boys are left on their own to sort this out, though 84 of them are being repped by the same Westchester attorney. More on this as we hear it.

Way to Express Yourself, Yale!

“Yale is Brave” isn’t the next “Why I Chose Yale“—it’s not as smug.That said, it’s pretty fucking smug.

The basic conceit, as we understand it, is a bunch of Elis prancing around, lip-syncing Sara Bareilles’s “Brave” (which is Top 40 bullshit). So there’s that, plus a few cut-together scenes. One where a shy guy approaches a girl sitting on a bench using a MacBook Pro (he’s being brave). In another, a different guy starts dancing at a lame party, and all the other people dance too, after they take the sticks out of their asses (just kidding, they don’t). And one more where a girl dances on a library shelf in a room full of working students (obnoxious, not brave).

This is an assignment for CPSC 183 Law, Technology, & Culture, a current-eventsy class about computers ‘n’ stuff. The video is a class-wide project (normally they do individual blog posts, but this year the class opted for this).

Instructor Brad Rosen tells us, “As an academic exercise, I think it was a success.  I hope they had fun in the process. (I suspect they did.)”

Addendum: The Bullblog made a video, too.

Yale Student Poops, Shit Flies


I’ve been saying for a while now that Ivy League students are really just 5 year-old children trapped in 20-year-old bodies. To most of us, the flurry of passive-aggressive listserv bitchfests and the occasional grade-induced emotional breakdown have become little more than commonplace. But recently, a rogue Yalie has taken that immaturity to a new level, urinating and defecating in multiple loads of laundry on campus. Read the rest of this entry »

Dear Yale: Do Not Wash Your Genitals In The Sink, And Please, No Chamber Pots

It seems there have been some confusion among the Yale graduate student community as to what exactly a bathroom should be used for. A tipster recently forwarded us an email detailing the debauchery rampant in Helen Hadley Hall, a grad student dorm that houses mainly international students. According to the email, sent from Yale’s Graduate Housing Office to the residents of HHH, the dorm has experienced feces smeared across walls, non-Western hygienic habits, and even, gasp, chamber pots.

It’s all a big misunderstanding though, because most of the students are foreign and, you know, different. As the email states:

“Because we have some many students and so many cultures represented in HHH, it is often necessary to clarify what is acceptable use for the bathroom facilities … Regardless of the many cultures represented in HHH, I need all students to follow the standard US/western culture for restroom use.”

Thankfully, the good ol’ GHO is here to lay out some basic ground rules for proper Yale bathroom etiquette. We’ve adapted some of them here for easy reading:

  • Rather than digging a hole outside or using the tub, poop and pee should only go in the toilet.
  • If you absolutely need to use a chamber pot due to your non-Western cultural upbringing, it must be emptied into a toilet, not the kitchen sink.
  • Do not wash your feet or your genitals in the bathroom sinks. In America there are showers for that.
  • There will be no bidets. Stop asking.

Click through for the full email: Read the rest of this entry »

Yale Crew Team Wishes You A Very Merry (Naked) Christmas


I see Yale’s freshman rowing team have a great christmas postcard …

http://imgur.com/xZx2W [Ed: NSFW! NSFW!]

Censored version below. (Further reading here.)

Season’s greetings everyone!

Liane Membis Reappears with Article About Ivy Leaguers

We recently noticed that Liane Membis — the Yalie who was fired in June for planting made-up quotes in the Wall Street Journal — published an article on Thursday at Dominion New York (“the online magazine of black New York,” according to Twitter) about two Barnard sophomores:

Twin sisters Ogor and Ngozi Ogehdo, both 20-years-old and now Barnard College students left the public school system behind after elementary school for lots of reasons. They considered returning to attend a specialized high school, but chose not to because they believed they’d be happier and in a more diverse environment at a private school.

Good for her, we think! Picking yourself up after failure is never easy. Just ask Jonah Lehrer. And while we’re still waiting for someone to explain Membis’s strange post-firing dissembling, we have to agree with her Twitter bio: “Failure is not fatal.”

This Amazing Video is Nathan Harden’s Technicolor Nightmare


VIDEO: Peter Salovey is Yale’s Next President

NEW HAVEN — In a unanimous decision by the Yale Corporation, Provost Peter Salovey has been selected as the next President of Yale University.

The announcement came in a rather secretive, almost-closed-to-everyone-but-the-YDN press conference (reporters from lesser publications could be seen loitering outside the McDougal Center of the Hall of Graduate Arts and Sciences, where the event was held). Salovey, who is known for his (no longer) mustache first and professional accomplishments second, will assume the post beginning June 30th.

According to the most carelessly done Google search in history, Salovey has previously served as Dean of Yale College and the Graduate School of Arts and Sciences, owns a Havanese dog, and is married to Marta Moret, president of Urban Policy Strategies, LLC and ’84 Graduate of the School of Public Health.

In his acceptance speech, Salovey posed the question “What kind of Yale do you imagine?” which really encapsulated his vision for “a more unified Yale, a more innovative Yale, a more accessible Yale, and a more excellent Yale.” After the announcement, what we assumed to be various Corporation fellows and Yale society luminaries (including Yale’s Favorite Son, Brandon Levin) lined up to shake Salovey’s hand and congratulate him. The general feeling from the crowd was one of excitement, relief, and speculation as to whether or not the mustache would make a comeback.