SEX WEEK AT YALE – YDN Charts Yale’s Sexual Landscape; Extreme Horniness Afoot

Kicking off Sex Week with a bang, the Yale Daily News just released the results of their campus-wide sex survey, and the results are titillating. Yalies have a lot of sex, in a lot of ways, with a lot of people.

According to the poll, 31.2 percent of students have performed or received oral sex within the last week, and 28.5 percent of students have had intercourse within the last week.

Also, just over 5% say they’ve engaged in a ménage à trois. This from a school with a Fetish Fashion show??? After polling 1,770 undergraduates, the copy-hounds at the News have worked up a feature on the results, featuring some sexy, sexy quotes. They range from the hilariously innocuous:

As explained by Sarah Matthes ’13, a large portion of this pattern can potentially be attributed to what is commonly referred to as “DFMO,” short for dance-floor makeout.

To the painfully smug:

“From a single guy’s point of view, I find few things more fun than going out at night and seeing what I can come home with,” Wyper said. “It’s fun. It’s exciting. I’m not looking to fill my empty heart. Wednesday through Saturday you have a pretty decent shot at hooking up with somebody.”

And finally, the frustratedly romantic:

“I think that very few people are actually legitimately happy with the way things are. I sincerely think that,” Ann Chou ’10 said. “I don’t think very many people are satisfied.”

We’ll leave you all to judge for yourself (that is, if you’re not busy with biweekly oral sex) after the jump, with the comprehensive results of the sex survey, featuring detailed statistics on Yalie masturbation, intercourse, three-ways, manual stimulation, relationships, make out seshes, and sluttiness. Consider this foreplay: IvyGate’s Sex Week coverage (from Dr. Suzy to Sasha Grey) will erotically continue in the coming days. Feast your eyes:

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Ragtime: Be a Good Sport Edition

RagTime: Slept Late, Here It Is Edition

  • Columbia: “Another linguistic charm of the magazine’s name is the resemblance of ‘hoot’ to ‘haute’ as in ‘haute couture.’”
  • Yale: Facebook invitations now considered a journalistic source; nothing compares 2 u, Toad’s.
  • Dartmouth: Kim on MLK Day: “King would have loved this thing that I would have done anyway!”
  • Penn: Social networking for people who have no problem with networking IRL.
  • Cornell: “Before Lady Gaga, there was Ga Ga Ga Ga Ga.” There was music before Lady Gaga?!?! We can hardly remember…

RagTime: You BET Edition

RagTime: Dartmouth, Unite for a Soft-Serve Machine! Edition

ragtime

The Derek Zoolander Extracurricular for Kids Who Can’t Read Good

Justine and I Official Picture IIIThe profoundly self-obsessed must be truly profound to catch our attention. Recently, in New Haven, profundity has once again reached a high—or low, depending on how you look at it—in Yale’s Movement for Beauty and Justice. Mission statement: Beautiful people are fucking awesome!

Our society is in a state of crisis. Political and social structures have disregarded the collective implications of our individual actions for too long. We live in a world of inequality, social injustice, and conflict.

We believe that promoting the proliferation, creation, and realization of diverse forms of beauty in the world will unite humanity and lead to a more just society.

Founders Justine Kolata and Ric Hernández ‘11 are pictured to the right. (At least their bunnies, “Beauty” and “Justice,” somehow have the good sense to hide their faces.)

The Movement for BJ [our own abbreviation] seems straight out of Elle Woods’s HLS admissions video, but perhaps it’s something more?

After the jump, the mission of what should be called The Movement for Butterflies and Pajama Bottoms and Cupcakes and Snugglebumblywumpsies.

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Yale Secret Society Taps of 2010, Cool Your Jets

yalesocietiesThe Yale Pundits, culprits of the Scroll and Key application prank earlier this year, have released the list of taps for the top secret societies late last night. The newsletter-style email for the “Yale Does It Nude” addressed to and credited to former YDN editor-in-chief Andrew Mangino cracked what will hopefully be the last swine flu joke. Ever.

By the looks of it, Key is holding onto their YDN legacy by tapping current managing editor Bharat Ayyar.  Meanwhile, Skull and Bones kept it presidential, welcoming Yale College Council president Rich Tao along with current publisher of the Yale Record, Nozlee Samadzadeh-Hadidi.

The Pundits’ announcement is hot on the heels of Rumpus‘s publication of the graduating class of 2009 society members list. Regarding our mistake in framing that coverage, we hope you commenters will cheer up now that we’ve covered everything. After all, this shit’s supposed to be secret, right?

After the jump, the original email from the Pundits and a video of a slow loris getting tickled.

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Yale Tabloid Releases Secret Society Rosters, No One Cares

Yale’s Rumpus magazine recently published the full list of secret society inductees for 2009. These future-leaders-of-the-world hopefuls join a league of will-never-really-be-leaders-of-the-world Yale alums plus George W. Bush. Meanwhile, nobody outside of New Haven gives a shit after that Joshua Jackson movie showed how whack secret societies are anyways.

The lists may or may not be correct, but Google doesn’t care. The only name we actually recognized immediately was Andrew Mangino, former Yale Daily News editor-in-chief who is now a Scroll and Key member, again. (Wonder if he applied…and too bad he’s not a Boner…) Since he was on last year’s list, this  seems confusing. Smells like journalistic integrity, nevertheless.

After the jump, the absurdly long list of tap-ees and the trailer to aforementioned Joshua Jackson movie. The list is really effing long. Do the Elis really need 32 secret societies? Do we have a little complex, Yale?

Correction: Kind commenters have let me know that Rumpus publishes the list of graduating members, so obvious that Mangino is on both. We still don’t care.

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Gender-Neutral Housing Tabled in New Haven, Yale still trailing Everyone

yaleThe YDN reported yesterday that gender-neutral housing would continue NOT to be offered in the Yale residential college system next year. While the Elis busted out their intergalactic decision-making body, the “Council of Masters,” the University wanted further study before implementing what would have been a college-wide housing policy to allow mixed-gender rooming groups, a change that the University believes has only existed on smaller scales at other schools. The policy is particularly relevant to the LGBT community who have long fought for gender-neutral rights on campuses nationwide.

To make matters worse, Harvard already solved the scale issue a couple years ago by allowing students to apply for gender-neutral housing on a case by case basis. Last year, students were also given the option to select “transgender” on housing forms, one further step towards transparency in the process. Likewise, Brown implemented a pilot-program in 2008 that expanded a 2003 program and now allows about a third of non-freshman rooms to be gender-neutral. Cornell, Dartmouth, and Penn have all had comparable programs in place since 2007.

So what gives, Yale? Everyone thought you guys were open-minded and stuff, but now you’re starting to come off as a bit of a bigot about all this issue. (Oh, and Princeton, too.) Read student respones and sign up for the sleep-in after the jump.

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Yale beats Harvard: And Then There’s the Matter of the Football Game

Headached and frostbitten, Harvard students are still trying to figure out what went wrong. Another year of heightened party restrictions and generally pitiful party behavior in Cambridge proves once again that even though Harvard outscored Yale in The Game, Yale still scores more in general. Harvard kids managed to screw up their own pep rally by getting too rambunctious during a Girl Talk concert. To boot, Crimeds botched the 40-year-old Crimson-YDN pigskin challenge by failing to show up to the game. They even refused to open the doors of 14 Plympton St to let the Elis in for a drink.

The Crimson Crazies can blame the Boston Police Department for cutting this year’s tailgate short, but the Girl Talk incident is unforgivably the fault of the fun-starved students who organized it. (Really, putting Greg Gillis on a flimsy stage with a PA system is like putting a hungry tiger in a preschool playground.) Meanwhile, the hope that ever-tightening restrictions in Boston and Cambridge might pull the focus back to the football also turns out to be a bit bogus. From the looks of it, there are just as many police officers on the field as gridiron giants. For all the buzz and hullaballoo, this year’s 125th anniversary of The Game succeeds, yet again, in stirring more nostalgia than cocktails.

Check out some pictures from the festivities along with B-list celebrity gossip after the jump.

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