Well, Columbia's General Studies Student Council may be filled with inept constitution breakers bickering about minutiae in the least popular corner of the university, but at least their meetings are dramatic. Take the recent potentially unconstitutional reattempt to impeach President Niko Cunningham, for instance.

The machinations began when Council members at the latest meeting waited for the pro-Cunningham people to leave, because evidently most of the people on his side leave meetings early. Then Junior Class President Karly Curcio introduced a motion to impeach him, and voting began. On BWOG, Cunningham describes his cunning political reaction: "I immediately got up and walked out."

To the untrained observer, that might seem like exactly the kind of petty, stupid move that has made Cunningham-impeachment proceedings such a hot GSSC fad. But Cunningham was trying to break quorum, since they needed everyone present to maintain it. So, assuming it's even possible to break quorum after a vote has started, it was actually a petty, devious move.

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In the student government universe -- a realm that is equal parts absurd, amusing, and unflinchingly self-serious -- Yale College Council has always served as the Platonic ideal. This year's race has already perfected the form.

Sam Heller, Yale '08 and former editor of campus tabloid Rumpus, submitted the following candidacy statement for Pierson residential college council: 

"What is the YCC?  I don't really know, but I plan on finding out - pronto.  It'll be an exciting adventure for all of us, and we'll really grow as people.

"With this statement of hope and fabulous dreams, I hereby announce my candidacy for Pierson YCC representative.  I hope all of you will get up out of your chairs and put your hands together, 'cause when I say "Sam", you say "Heller"!  

"Sam!

"Heller!

"Sam!

"Heller!

"With your help, I can make this the rock 'n rollinest year evar! Hooray!"

Council rep Steve Engler, '07, doing a spot-on angry dean impression, responded:

"Sam- You know I can't accept that. Write a legitimate statement and then I can enter you."

The rest of the conversation, in which Heller cc'ed the Rumpus discussion list, is inappropriate for a family blog. So we included it after the jump. Short story: Heller is back on the ballot. Score one for Dadaist, faux-anti-establishment student council campaigns.

*UPDATE 10:22 p.m.: See Heller's campaign poster here.

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