The Official IvyGate College Rankings as Determined By Internet Quizzes

by Max Wasserman | September 11, 2009 at 9:00 am

m_5kCollege rankings are generally quite zany, but this year’s lists have taken ridiculousness to a new level. We’ve seen the Princeton Review name Columbia as topping the list of the best college towns–with Barnard coming in third despite being located three yards away. We’ve seen Forbes rank Cornell as the 207th best university in America thanks to a formula that assigns a 25% weight to RateMyProfessors.com. We’ve even seen GQ magazine redefine the Jeremy Piven Hierarchy of Assholery™ by sticking Brown at the top of their “Douchiest Colleges” list.

It’s all made for great amusement (and page views, cha-ching!). However, we here at IvyGate feel we can do one better in terms of ludicrousness, while at the same time create a college ranking equally as reasonable as anything U.S. News can produce. (Ivy League schools only, of course.)

Like Forbes, we’re also going to utilize a website in our ranking methodology. However, we’re going to show up those flat-tax pussies by giving our chosen website 100% of the weight. Also, the website we’ve chosen is one that, like RateMyProfessors, is very popular with college students. The difference between IvyGate’s data source and Forbes’ is that ours is a trusted source of factual information and it is a better teacher than any professor in history–because no professor has encyclopedic knowledge of British monarchs, the periodic table, and Seth Rogen movies. Our chosen source of college ranking data is Sporcle. Read the rest of this entry »

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