BREAKING: Columbia vanquishes Dartmouth in U.S.N.&W.R. College Rankings, world stops

Look how Mort's puppets dance!After stinging criticism that the U.S. News & World Report’s annual college rankings were ”dubious” and possibly even damaging to low-income students (leading to many safety schools small liberal arts colleges boycotting the whole process), the magazine vowed greater transparency and “substantial changes in methodology”. Today, we can see what a radical changes Mort Zuckerman has wrought (or not), and how the results are sure to send the insecure into spasms of self-doubt once more.

Here’s how the Ivies stacked up:

1. Princeton University (NJ) (2007: Ranked 1st)
2. Harvard University (MA)  (2007: Ranked 2nd)
3. Yale University (CT) (2007: Ranked 3rd)
5.   University of Pennsylvania (2007: Ranked 7th)
9.  Columbia University (NY)   (2007: Ranked 9th)
11. Dartmouth College (NH) (2007: Ranked 9th)
12. Cornell University (NY)  (2007: Ranked 12th)
14. Brown University (RI) (2007: Ranked 15th)

See the release in all its embargoed glory and the top 25 schools after the jump.

–MICHAEL MORISY

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