Yale’s Bomb Squad Rushes to Action, Bombs

Rich Shapero. Google him, because, guaranteed, you’ve never heard of him (and we refuse to hyperlink him). His recent courageously self-published book, Wild Animus, apparently covers for an extensive underground bomb ring. Well, at least for Yale bomb squads.

The brave men and women of Yale Security and their subsequent (completely necessary) Bomb Squad Division – the guardian angels against a bevy of local New Haven-based terrorists (aka Gin and Juice) – do make mistakes. Apart from failing to mention their very existence before Tuesday, Yale bomb specialists recently confused scattered cardboard boxes near Yale’s Beinecke Rare Book Library, full of Rich Shapero’s burgeoning, unrecognized artistry (aka unsold books), for explosives. Sure, perhaps, they were just taking precautions. But…perhaps, really, they were looking for some recognition from the Academy. Or biting off of recent Times Square gallantry. Or just bitterly reacting to this oh-so-verbose review of Shapero’s epic novel:

Reading Wild Animus is like climbing, skiing or intense adventuring. It puts you in the ‘time is now’ state.

On second thought, such evidently raw, contemporaneous (and necessary) literature is the perfect excuse to take the bomb-bot for a stroll. And besides, rolling, vibrating machines attract the ladies. Good job, gentlemen!