Here's yet another reason for all you smug Princeton bastards to gloat:  A group of college bashers over at Radar released a "semiscientific" (aka they bs'ed it like we all bs'ed our bio lab reports) guide to what they're calling the worst colleges in America.  The only problem?  They've got some not-so-bad colleges on this list, namely Harvard and Cornell.

Harvard is no doubt blushing crimson from winning the title of "Most Overrated College In America."  The article goes on to bludgeon Harvard's over-enthusiasm for giving out awards, honors, high grades and newspaper editorships.  I was skeptical at this point, until I got to the next paragraph, which recounted "A mysterious scabies-like infestation last fall left freshmen scrambling out of their dorms and into Harvard Yard, dirty sheets in tow."  Does it make me a soulless and bitter Barnard girl if I snorted into my coffee?  But that wasn't all Radar had to say about Harvard:  apparently most Harvard students graduate with undeserved honors, but when it comes to making sexy time, they stipulate that the student body is vastly underserved.  Check out the article (click the above image) for more Harvard-Hate.

What's the only thing worse than being named "Most Overrated College In America?"  I dunno, how about being named "runner up?"  Poor Cornell!  Must you always be a runner up to Harvard (kidding, sort of)?  Emphatic yes, if Radar has anything to say about it, since they levy one lame "Cornell isn't a real Ivy" joke after another, and then decide to go balls out with the claim that (according to collegeprowler.com), "Cornell is also home to the ugliest girls in the Ivy League—and that's saying something."  Ouch!  So...does anyone else find it ironic that Cornell's campus just gained a Playboy rep?

Everyone is getting into the college rankings game these days, and everyone - it seems - has the same goal in mind: to dethrone the juggernaut that is the U.S. News & World Report. But while students and alums of certain liberal arts colleges and lesser-known universities are probably reveling in Forbes.com's inaugural rankings, the newest kid on the block is unlikely to find much support among the non-Princeton Ivy set this year.

Of the 569 schools included in the rankings, here's how the Ivies stacked up:

1. Princeton
3. Harvard
9. Yale
10. Columbia
27. Brown
61. Penn
121: Cornell
127: Dartmouth

Brown at 27 already seems like a stretch, but Penn at 61, Cornell at 121, and Dartmouth at 127? How vulgar, indecent, cruel! Some quotes and commentary after the jump.

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Welcome to judgment day, Ivy Leaguers, where we find out whether the grassy quadrangles encased by your school’s iron gates are a heaven or a hell. So gather round, because I’ve got the results hot off the press from The Princeton Review’s The Best 368 Colleges 2009. Gems from this Compendium of All Things Safety School after the jump.

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So apparently U.S. News & World Report has thrown in the towel when it comes to reporting news items that AREN'T gimmicky lists of colleges generated from statistical trivia. Following the lead of such pioneers of capitalism as Blackula and Black Caesar, U.S. News & World Report is proud to present America with another overhyped, arbitrary list: "America's Best Black Colleges."

According to the press release, this list "closely resembles that of of U.S.News & World Report's annual "America's Best Colleges" rankings." No shit -- you could almost say it's the exact same thing, just tailored to a specific minority in order to make more money.

Here are the top five colleges:

1.  Spelman College (Atlanta, GA)

2.  Howard University (Washington, DC)

3.  Hampton University (Hampton, VA)

4.  Morehouse College (Atlanta, GA)

5.  Fisk University (Nashville, TN)

I guess Howard University, 1st in prestige but 2nd in thist list, really is the "black Harvard." We are eagerly awaiting the list of America's best Jewish colleges.

After the jump -- IvyGate selflessly, courageously violates yet another USN&WR "embargo" (you guys might want to stop sending us these, btw).

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• MetaEzra: Cornell continues to top every single off-beat rankings list, this time for community service and social mobility.

• Cornell Sun: Cornellians also top the "oh shit RIAA is ruining my life" list, as 16 students from last May's file sharing fiasco get slapped with new lawsuits.  Elliott Back offers a few more four-letter words.

• Associated Press: Facebook's newest rival, Playboy U, gives a whole new meaning to "poke."

• Insider Higher Ed: How to make a college student like a textbook: Just add pictures!

• Columbia Daily Spectator: Somewhere, Nellie McKay is smiling.

--MAUREEN O'CONNOR

After stinging criticism that the U.S. News & World Report's annual college rankings were "dubious" and possibly even damaging to low-income students (leading to many safety schools small liberal arts colleges boycotting the whole process), the magazine vowed greater transparency and "substantial changes in methodology". Today, we can see what a radical changes Mort Zuckerman has wrought (or not), and how the results are sure to send the insecure into spasms of self-doubt once more.

Here's how the Ivies stacked up:

1. Princeton University (NJ) (2007: Ranked 1st)
2. Harvard University (MA)  (2007: Ranked 2nd)
3. Yale University (CT) (2007: Ranked 3rd)
5.   University of Pennsylvania (2007: Ranked 7th)
9.  Columbia University (NY)   (2007: Ranked 9th)
11. Dartmouth College (NH) (2007: Ranked 9th)
12. Cornell University (NY)  (2007: Ranked 12th)
14. Brown University (RI) (2007: Ranked 15th)

See the release in all its embargoed glory and the top 25 schools after the jump.

--MICHAEL MORISY

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