Dear Cornell Sun: A public urination article? We’re really going to do this? … Fine, then. But let me take a quick Purell shower before we get started, OK?
Cornell University Police reported 13 incidents of exposures of a person and two incidents of public urination on campus last weekend. Cornell Police Chief Kathy Zoner said that more incidents were reported likely due to increased Cornell Police surveillance on campus, not an increase in illegal activity among students and community members.
“It’s actually not that strange a number,” Zoner said. “It comes with the territory of people drinking and not paying attention to what their physical needs are and thinking public peeing is the way to handle it.”
Yes, it’s actually not that strange a number at all. In fact, Cornell students should be working tirelessly to increase their number of public urination incidents. How else will they move up through the ranks on Newsweek’s (completely inaccurate) list of the Best Party Schools in America?