When I was trying to decide which "New Yorker Festival" events to cover, the "American Dream" discussion between Jeffrey Eugenides, Jhumpa Lahiri and T.C. Boyle caught my eye. Why, you ask? Primarily because its panelists have Ivy ties, making this post marginally relevant to the topic of the blog. Also, the Ivy League and the American Dream seem to be somehow linked. At least, after spending so much money and emerging with no practical skills, I hope they are.

This discussion took place in what I think was a church on the Lower East Side. Young and old New Yorker fans packed the room to capacity. In fact, there were people standing in line outside the building (this made me feel bad about nodding off a few times during the discussion. But whatever--I was tired.) The moderator, a British guy who probably works for the New Yorker, opened with a joke about how incongruous it was for a British guy to moderate a discussion about the American Dream.

And then the panelists started talking.

Boyle on social mobility:

If the 'American Dream' is about about social mobility, I am its exemplar.

Boyle, working-class son and author of World's End and other award-winning books, modestly admits it wasn't until he was a junior in college that he "blundered into a creative writing class."

London-born Lahiri, Barnard '89, on America:

It's taken me my entire life to understand and accept that I'm an American.

Lahiri explains that Indians are more exotic in America than in Britain, where they are part of "the fabric of the culture."

After the jump, Jeff Eugenides, Brown '83, tells us greed is good and Boyle tells us his pet name for his wife. Read the rest of this entry »

Before Princeton decimated Columbia's tiny, optimistic dream of actually celebrating after their homecoming game, IvyGate ventured forth to the tailgate with a camera in tow to capture the hope on everyone's faces and the light beers (two ID's required to drink!) in some people's hands.  As to actual homecoming coverage, eh, we'll leave that to the Bwog.  (In case you care, 27-24 Princeton.)

More photos, including Princetonians in doofy boater hats and hot girls in track bottoms, after the jump:

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• Princeton: "I Could Be McCain's Econ 101 Teacher"
• Princeton: COMBO shows that many Princeton students aren't sure whether their families were rich or poor, methinks their personal statements revealed otherwise
  
• Dartmouth: The most depressing Career Fair ever
• Harvard:  Blindly follows Columbia down the "now that Obama mentions it" ROTC policy reform path
• Harvard:  Frosh get famous on the internet, nothing to do with anything, they're not really famous, guys, they're just running for UC
• Yale: Yale "might have climaxed when it comes to your sexual health"

This past Saturday the Princeton football team + marching band traveled to Charleston for a game with the Citadel, the military college of South Carolina most famous for the institutionalized sadism of its hazing process.

Things took a terrifying turn for the surreal, however, when the Princeton University Band (PUB), which apparently had not been instructed that certain parts of the Citadel campus were considered sacred ground, unwittingly traipsed down the Avenue of Remembrance, setting off a round of physical attacks as well as vicious homophobic taunting.

The Prince has the story (with, like, 500 comments): parts of it simply have to be read to be believed. One cadet yelled at students, "‘Cut your hair, long-haired faggots’ and ‘You go have fun in college, I’ll go fight the war," while another shattered a bandmember's clarinet. Mayor Daley's thugs Citadel cadets proceeded to spit on the Yippies scramble-bandies, shove them against trees, and generally conduct themselves like typical Southern gentlemen.

Some, however, fault the Princeton University Band for its provocative antics in the Citadel's conservative atmosphere. Reports abound of band-members "humping" each other as part of their half-time performance. (Them's fightin' pantomime!) Pig-headed belligerent Ken Burger opines for the Charleston Post and Courierier that the "the entire Corps of Cadets should be given a medal for standing up for their school." And Underside points out that the most prominent members of the Band, some of whom were directly involved in the weekend's altercation, have a history of eye-catching agitprop and radical affiliation.

Yet others explain the conflict as a clash of cultures. Read the rest of this entry »

I've long promulgated the "It's not my fault, I was blacked out" argument. Princeton's Thomas Kneeland might want to see if he can legally invoke this.

Kneeland, '10, was arrested last Friday and charged with felony assault after struggling with authorities and generally refusing to go to the hospital to have his drunkenness treated. The drama started at 11:40 pm, when campus police were called to Foulke Hall to help university first aid crews contain the belligerent Kneeland. What happened next is reported by the Star-Ledger:

Authorities were trying to take student Thomas Kneeland, 20, to a hospital, but he refused and allegedly unleashed an obscenity-laden struggle that included flailing and kicking and at one point hiding under his bed, police said.

During the struggle, Kneeland allegedly struck borough Patrol Officer James Dodd, police said.

Hiding under the bed, a classic if overused drunk escape maneuver. Kneeland reportedly continued to wreak havoc at the hospital, trying to bite a nurse and then grabbing her hand and "twist[ing] it very hard." The nurse did not require medical attention.

Kneeland now faces felony assault charges for the attacks against Officer James Dodd and the nurse.

And so concludes another chapter of "Reasons to Not Drink Excessively."

Though the FBI declared Ivins the sole perpetrator of the 2001 anthrax attacks, closing the case on Aug. 6, Ivins' attorney Paul Kemp maintains his client's innocence. The Justice Department must think Kemp is onto something because it's keeping the investigation open. Among the reasons why Kemp thinks Ivins might not be guilty of mailing anthrax-stuffed envelopes from a mailbox outside of the Kappa Kappa Gamma sorority: the mailbox was not really located outside of the sorority.

20 Nassau Street, the location of the Kappa outpost near the mailbox, is an office that holds "rush paraphernalia, initiation robes and other materials." It does not hold live Kappas.

In the Daily Princetonian, Kemp says:

The only thing that exists at 20 Nassau Street is a business office. They don’t have sorority offices. There is no sorority house. If the idea of this salacious report is that he went because there were girls ... there aren’t any girls at 20 [Nassau Street]. It’s bullshit.

Why would Ivins drive all the way from Fort Detrick, MD to Princeton, NJ if the mailbox has no Kappa connection? Well, Kemp's argument is that he wouldn't. Of course, Ivins could have been satisfied by 20 Nassau's weak Kappa connection. Or it could be a coincidence, with Ivins picking 20 Nassau at random. You decide!

After the jump, various Kappa chapters closer to Maryland where Ivins may have been able to find mailboxes. Read the rest of this entry »

If you're anything like me, you've been sitting around wondering, "When will Harvard get the recognition it deserves?" The wait is over, my friend. In US News and World Report's 2009 "National University Rankings," Harvard surpassed Princeton for the top spot, ending 8 straight years of New Jersey rule. This comes on the heels of Princeton's first-place finish in the flawed but entertaining Forbes.com best college list.

Harvard, incidentally, was just ranked "Most Overrated" in Radar Magazine's guide to America's worst colleges. The guide cites Harvard's 25% virgin rate. But would you really want to have sex with that twenty-five percent? In other news, Cornell is listed as the runner-up to "Most Overrated." When you think about it, it's kind of a compliment. That is, until you read on and get to the part about Cornell's status anxiety and Ithaca's geographical advantages. To wit: "Thankfully, rocky gorges surrounding the campus continue to provide the sweet release of death for those Cornellians who just can't take it anymore."

But enough about suicide: following her venerable leader, Columbia advanced in the US News rankings. Yale and Dartmouth stayed the same. UPenn, Brown and Cornell all lost ground. The Liberal Arts Colleges are still unimportant.

Here's how the Ivies fared:

1. Harvard (ranked 2nd in 2008)

2. Princeton (ranked 1st in 2008)

3. Yale (ranked 3rd in 2008)

6. Penn (ranked 5th in 2008)

8. Columbia (ranked 9th in 2008)

11. Dartmouth (ranked 11th in 2008)

14. Cornell (ranked 12th in 2008)

16. Brown (ranked 14th in 2008)

After the jump, Harvard tells you she's embarrassed by all the attention.

Read the rest of this entry »

An "Ivy Montrealer" recently informed us of a juicy bit of hypocrisy: Canadian and McGill graduate Padraic Scanlan, whom we covered last November for penning a damning critique of Yale and other privileged American universities in the McGill Daily, is now going for his PhD in history at Princeton. To refresh everyone's memory, here are a few excerpts from Scanlan's column:

New Haven reminded me vividly of Detroit - class and race are lashed together in a widening spiral of systemic oppression in both cities. Both cities are scarred with bombed-out buildings and condemned lots. In both cities, black and Hispanic Americans are crushed by the combined weight of a decimated economy, mounting personal debt, and pervasive, systemic racism. The only difference between Detroit and New Haven is that in New Haven, Yale sits, gleaming and gated.

Likening New Haven to Detroit is legit, and surely Yale is "gleaming" compared to the city that abuts it, but saying New Haven is filled with "pervasive, systemic racism" seems, well, a bit hyperbolic. Scanlan continues:

You have to visit to really appreciate how obscene the divide is between the rich and the poor in New Haven, Connecticut. Yale is vastly wealthy - I can see now (having never actually visited an Ivy League school before) why McGill's administration slavers after the prestige and wealth of that select clique of New England universities. It is enormous, full of granite and sandstone, gleaming new electronics, and huge College Gothic piles.

One final quote by Scanlan and some commentary after the jump.

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Everyone is getting into the college rankings game these days, and everyone - it seems - has the same goal in mind: to dethrone the juggernaut that is the U.S. News & World Report. But while students and alums of certain liberal arts colleges and lesser-known universities are probably reveling in Forbes.com's inaugural rankings, the newest kid on the block is unlikely to find much support among the non-Princeton Ivy set this year.

Of the 569 schools included in the rankings, here's how the Ivies stacked up:

1. Princeton
3. Harvard
9. Yale
10. Columbia
27. Brown
61. Penn
121: Cornell
127: Dartmouth

Brown at 27 already seems like a stretch, but Penn at 61, Cornell at 121, and Dartmouth at 127? How vulgar, indecent, cruel! Some quotes and commentary after the jump.

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It's a fact of life: Facebook has made incoming Ivy League freshmen retarded - at least until they arrive on campus and reveal how awkward and un-cool they truly are. Meet "Stephany Her RoyalHighness," Princeton '12, author of a ludicrous post on the discussion board of the Princeton 2012 Facebook group. She writes:

Dear Class of 2012,

I only hold you to the same standards I hold myself to and I HATE being disappointed.

Having said that, do not let ANYONE tell you that you are not better than them, because you are. We are the elite, we are the 0.0000001% of the world who have spent the last four years of our lives either blackmailing or working our asses off. There was something that got you here—whether it was daddy's money or your #1 ranking in the nation, you are here and you are better. You have mercilessly beaten out your friends, your girlfriends, your boyfriends, your brothers, your sisters and every one you have loved. Don't apologize for it, revel in it. YOU. ARE. BETTER. Why deny it?

Don't be held back now—you are in your prime. Starting from the first day you step on campus, there is no past, there is no judgment. You are beautifully brand new. Wherever you came from, whatever you have been through, whoever you knew: that counts for nothing now. It only matters who you are now.

Try everything once: Pilates, squash, open mic night, tantric sex. What do you have to lose? When you risk everything, you have anything to gain.
If someone says you can't. Don't answer. Walk away and prove them wrong.

Princeton is famous for its elitism and for fostering loyalty among its students and alumni but "Stephany" - if there's really an incoming Princeton freshman behind that facile alias - is someone different altogether. Read her post in its entirety after the jump.

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