Hello Princeton freshpeople, hope you’ve been adjusting well. As you try to poach upperclassmen to get a guest pass inside an eating club, here’s what you’re missing when it’s not open to the (kind of) public:
Thanks to an anonymous tipster, here’s a video seemingly from last year’s Titanic theme party at Ivy, the Princeton eating club. One of their many theme parties throughout the year, this one involves a chosen Jack and Rose, seen being Jack and Rose here. Seniors dress up as first-class passengers, juniors as second-class, and newly minted Ivy sophomores as third-class passengers. Because if there’s anything Princeton loves, it’s clearly defined class statuses.
In the July 28th issue of the New Yorker we were treated to the story of the Carpenter family, described by Rebecca Mead as “imagined into being by Wes Anderson.” Sean, Lauren, and David Carpenter all attended Princeton on financial aid, but are now living the life posing as Stradivari asset managers to promote their musical careers. We think? It seems they just wanted the opportunity to play these extraordinary instruments so badly they cracked the financial market for them.
Sean and Lauren both served as concertmaster at Princeton while David only played in the orchestra briefly, choosing instead to follow the spotlight as a soloist. The siblings “have a disconcerting habit of referring to themselves in the first-person plural,” are all unmarried (“We just haven’t met the right person yet”), and now live together in a two-bedroom apartment at the Plaza. Their mother often sleeps over.
Princeton Reunions, a carnival of bacchanalia replete with old white men singing a capella and drinking from handles, hit central Jersey this weekend. IvyGate correspondents on the ground sent in updates and photos, featured here. Highlights included a surprise concert by Flo Rida, thrown by the class of 1989 on their 25th reunion — and open to all classes. A 101-year-old alum came by for the festivities, and fireworks shot out around campus. The Class of 2014 successfully stormed the field after the P-rade and sang Old Nassau, and non-Princetonians are still terribly confused by all of this. Congratulations to all of Princeton for upholding your single greatest tradition and we urge you to get some eggs and ginger ale and sober up.
In an email to IvyGate, Tal Fortgang, P ’17 and author of a viral article in the Princeton Tory, charged us to “[m]ake me look bad!” Well Mr. Fortgang, with your blessing…
Tired of being oppressed for being a white male in America, Fortgang (who hails from Westchester) wrote the infamous Tory article detailing why he has earned the immense privilege he gets from being both male and white. The article has been covered everywhere from The Blaze to Slate, and republished in Time. Comments on the original post have ranged from praise to disbelief.
“Consider the idea that a person who loses an argument is the only one who gains something from the exercise. That will turn you into a person with the ability to grow and not just someone others perceive to be an entitled asshole.”
“Great article! Well written and with great eloquence. I commend you on taking an unpopular stance in a politically correct/liberal leaning society.”
On March 11th, the Daily Princetonian published an interview with “Princeton Mom” Susan Patton, P’77. On March 25th, the Daily Princetonian published a letter to the editor signed by over 200 Princeton faculty members, including Joyce Carol Oates and Anne-Marie Slaughter, written in response to one of Patton’s answers.
Another Ivy League secret society came under fire for holding a high-risk party–this time over at Princeton, where all but two officers of the eating club Tiger Inn resigned after fallout for hosting a 21 Club party last Sunday. The 21 Club is a semi-secret society (what does that even mean anymore?) whose membership is made up of some of the biggest drunkards on campus. According to the Daily Princetonian, “During initiations, members reportedly have to drink 21 beers in 42 minutes, and the goal is to be the last one to throw up.”
Last month, the Daily Princetonian wrote a profile on senior football player Caraun Reid, P ’14. So far so good. They listed his career accomplishments and spoke highly of his prospects in the NFL draft. Alright, still no problem there. The DP used a photo to show the young man. What’s the problem?
Hafiz Dhanani, Princeton ’16 and creator of Luminate, deadlifting.
Hafiz Dhanani is a go-getter—one who sometimes he needs a little chemical help getting going. To that end, he’s come out with a “natural supplement” called Luminate. What’s in it? Well, artichoke extract, and some other stuff that he won’t say.
The young job-creator—previously featured on this blog—talked vaguely about his supplement in a bizarrely uncritical Princetonian article. What little we do learn there is that Dhanani has used a lot of supplements, Luminate has something to do with artichokes, and—taken with a cup of coffee—it increased the heart-rate of one of Dhanani’s friends.
(We asked the Prince if the article was “some sort of unmarked sponsored content.” EIC Luc Cohen replied, “The answer is no.”)
So, as is often the case, the comments are more interesting than the article—and more edifying. Ben Hebert, co-founder of supplement supplier NaturalStacks.com, commented: “Thanks for ordering from us (NaturalStacks.com) and then copying. I would have expected a lot more from someone at Princeton :)”
Naturally, we wanted to chat. Hebert explained that Luminate closely resembles his product CILTEP: both use artichoke extract, and “[t]he mechanisms of action for CILTEP and Luminate are exactly as described in the article.”
According to Hebert, Dhanani “ordered our combo pack twice and then ordered the 4-month supply of both CILTEP and SMART CAFFEINE just the other day.” Hebert added that Dhanani isn’t the first copy-cat, and that his recipes are public and non-proprietary, anyway. He “just thought [he]‘d comment on the post to let him know that we’re watching.”
Dhanani didn’t reply to multiple emails for comment. But here’s a deal, Fiz: send us some Luminate, and we’ll review it while on it.
Supplements at work (?) courtesy @HafizDhanani