Pro Princeton Prof Lawn Vigilante

ORFE Professor John Mulvey, who has been at Princeton since 1978, got a little too involved in the local community. You know those lawn signs proprietors put outside your house after doing work there? Mulvey’s allegedly been stealing them — 21 of them, valued at $471 total.

Say what?!

Princeton Reunions 2014, visualized

Princeton Reunions, a carnival of bacchanalia replete with old white men singing a capella and drinking from handles, hit central Jersey this weekend. IvyGate correspondents on the ground sent in updates and photos, featured here. Highlights included a surprise concert by Flo Rida, thrown by the class of 1989 on their 25th reunion — and open to all classes. A 101-year-old alum came by for the festivities, and fireworks shot out around campus. The Class of 2014 successfully stormed the field after the P-rade and sang Old Nassau, and non-Princetonians are still terribly confused by all of this. Congratulations to all of Princeton for upholding your single greatest tradition and we urge you to get some eggs and ginger ale and sober up.

Gallery after the jump

PRINCETON: Check your definition of privilege

In an email to IvyGate, Tal Fortgang, P ’17 and author of a viral article in the Princeton Tory, charged us to “[m]ake me look bad!” Well Mr. Fortgang, with your blessing…

Tired of being oppressed for being a white male in America, Fortgang (who hails from Westchester) wrote the infamous Tory article detailing why he has earned the immense privilege he gets from being both male and white. The article has been covered everywhere from The Blaze to Slate, and republished in Time. Comments on the original post have ranged from praise to disbelief.

Consider the idea that a person who loses an argument is the only one who gains something from the exercise. That will turn you into a person with the ability to grow and not just someone others perceive to be an entitled asshole.”

Great article! Well written and with great eloquence. I commend you on taking an unpopular stance in a politically correct/liberal leaning society.”

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Princeton Profs Deride Princeton Mom

On March 11th, the Daily Princetonian published an interview with “Princeton Mom” Susan Patton, P’77. On March 25th, the Daily Princetonian published a letter to the editor signed by over 200 Princeton faculty members, including Joyce Carol Oates and Anne-Marie Slaughter, written in response to one of Patton’s answers.

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Tiger Inn officers resign after 21 Club vomits all over their house

Another Ivy League secret society came under fire for holding a high-risk party–this time over at Princeton, where all but two officers of the eating club Tiger Inn resigned after fallout for hosting a 21 Club party last Sunday. The 21 Club is a semi-secret society (what does that even mean anymore?) whose membership is made up of some of the biggest drunkards on campus. According to the Daily Princetonian, “During initiations, members reportedly have to drink 21 beers in 42 minutes, and the goal is to be the last one to throw up.”

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Daily Princetonian Thinks All Black People Are The Same

Last month, the Daily Princetonian wrote a profile on senior football player Caraun Reid, P ’14. So far so good. They listed his career accomplishments and spoke highly of his prospects in the NFL draft. Alright, still no problem there. The DP used a photo to show the young man. What’s the problem?

wrong one, prince.

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Princeton Pusher Won’t Say What’s in Shady Supplement

Hafiz Dhanani, Princeton ’16 and creator of Luminate, deadlifting.

Hafiz Dhanani is a go-getter—one who sometimes he needs a little chemical help getting going. To that end, he’s come out with a “natural supplement” called Luminate. What’s in it? Well, artichoke extract, and some other stuff that he won’t say.

The young job-creator—previously featured on this blog—talked vaguely about his supplement in a bizarrely uncritical Princetonian article. What little we do learn there is that Dhanani has used a lot of supplements, Luminate has something to do with artichokes, and—taken with a cup of coffee—it increased the heart-rate of one of Dhanani’s friends.

(We asked the Prince if the article was “some sort of unmarked sponsored content.” EIC Luc Cohen replied, “The answer is no.”)

So, as is often the case, the comments are more interesting than the article—and more edifying. Ben Hebert, co-founder of supplement supplier, commented: “Thanks for ordering from us ( and then copying. I would have expected a lot more from someone at Princeton :)”

Dhanani replied that “none of the ingredients you use are proprietary or something that can’t be found on You have my email if you’d like to chat.”

Naturally, we wanted to chat. Hebert explained that Luminate closely resembles his product CILTEP: both use artichoke extract, and “[t]he mechanisms of action for CILTEP and Luminate are exactly as described in the article.”

According to Hebert, Dhanani “ordered our combo pack twice and then ordered the 4-month supply of both CILTEP and SMART CAFFEINE just the other day.” Hebert added that Dhanani isn’t the first copy-cat, and that his recipes are public and non-proprietary, anyway. He “just thought [he]‘d comment on the post to let him know that we’re watching.”

Dhanani didn’t reply to multiple emails for comment. But here’s a deal, Fiz: send us some Luminate, and we’ll review it while on it.

Supplements at work (?) courtesy @HafizDhanani

Thiel Fellow to Plebs Whom She Wants to Employ to Run Her Extracurriculars: “Stay Awesome”

Eden Full, P ’15

Just under one month ago, we introduced you to Fiz, a public servant at Princeton in search of a private servant. He emailed his residential college looking to pay a classmate to run his errands.

Well, meet Eden. She’s a junior at Princeton, but only because she took two years off for a Thiel grant to make the desert bloom with solar power. Eden lives in the same residential college as Fiz! And she needs help, too—not only with errands, but with her startup and extracurriculars and personal projects. (Resumes don’t build themselves.)

From a tipster:

From: Eden Full
Subject: Seeking a Ninja!
Date: November 6, 2013 at 7:14:03 AM GMT+8
To: [the same residential college as last time]@Princeton.EDU

Hi [residential college]!

I hope all is well. I’m seeking a ninja for 3-5 hours/week to help me with some errands/research. For example:

- Mailing stuff at the post office
- Helping with some administrative stuff and/or research for my startup, extracurricular activities and personal projects
Compensation would be $15/hour, and you would complete these tasks at your own convenience, as long as it gets done before the very reasonable deadline. Some weeks will have more work than others, but it will definitely be nothing too intense.

If this is something you think you have free time in your schedule for, please email me back with:

- 2-3 sentences about yourself
- Possible hours you are available to work each day, organized as a Google spreadsheet and shared with me as a link in the email
Looking forward to potentially working with you!

Stay awesome,


[Photo via NPR]

A “Very Princeton” Email


A tipster called this email “very Princeton…” We agree.

From: Hafiz Dhanani
Date: Wed, Oct 16, 2013 at 10:31 PM
Subject: Paying $10-$20/hr for some basic errands
To: [a residential college]
I have a few errands I need done tomorrow (Thursday) that I don’t have time for.

I’m paying $10-$20/hr depending on the task. Simple stuff, like going to the post-office, etc.

Respond to this email if you’re interested and we’ll iron out the details.

- Fiz

Running for 2016 student rep, Dhanani said, “Anything you need… ever… I’m here” (if what you need is to run his errands).

Also: “I’ve realized that the most powerful thing about this opportunity to be class rep, is that you get to lead other leaders.” You know, because we’re all Princeton students (and therefore born leaders), and because you should run his errands.

Fiz, if you found anyone, you know what to do:

[Image from his LinkedIn page]

Princeton Admissions Office Reportedly Investigated for Improperly Admitting Current Student

A few months ago, Princeton’s Office of Undergraduate Admission received a lengthy, detailed letter alleging that the spouse of an admissions staff member had, in 2011, asked the staff member for a favor. According to a copy of the letter, provided to IvyGate by an anonymous Princeton source, the staff member later intervened on behalf of a waitlisted applicant, currently a rising junior at Princeton, who happened to be a close relative of their spouse’s boss at a private K-8 school in a neighboring town.

The letter indicated that the spouse who requested the favor was afraid of being fired and used their connection to Princeton’s admissions office to avoid termination. The favor would have been extremely valuable: according to The Daily Princetonian, 1.5% of wait-listed applicants, or 19 out of 1,248, were later admitted.

The source described the incident as “an open secret in the Princeton community” — whether among students, administrators, or the town of Princeton, the source did not say — and that, shortly after receiving the letter, university officials hired William Maderer, a New Jersey attorney, to conduct an independent investigation. It is unclear whether or not the investigation concluded. Maderer’s office declined to comment about his involvement with any investigations(See bottom of post for update.)  Read the rest of this entry »