A New Year’s Roundup of News

Phi Delta Theta’s unfortunate choice of Christmas card

Happy 2015, guys. Now that we’re collectively, if slowly, waking up from our post-holiday daze, it’s time to start getting back in touch with the crazy shit your peers got up to while you were sleeping. Ranging from deadly serious crimes to seriously unfunny jokes, here’s a taste of winter in the Ivy League. In order of descending gravity:

  • A Princeton graduate has been indicted for his father’s murder. Thomas Gilbert, P’09, allegedly killed his father, who was the founder of a hedge fund, by staging a suicide while his mother was out of the apartment (he got her to leave by asking her to buy him a sandwich). Gothamist claims that Gilbert Jr. – a 30 year old man – was provoked by a cut in his allowance from $600 to $400 a month.
  • The complaint filed by 23 Columbia and Barnard students back in April has finally been answered: Columbia University is officially under investigation for violations of Title IX and Title II. The lesser-known federal Title II deals with cases of discrimination based on ability, while 2014′s buzzword Title IX addresses equal treatment in regards to gender. Barnard College is under a separate Title IX investigation.
  • If you thought Dartmouth has been suspiciously quiet of embarrassing scandals lately, think again. 64 Dartmouth students have been charged with cheating in – get this – an Ethics class. Most of them will be suspended for a semester. More specifically, the class was a “sports ethics course targeted at student athletes struggling with academics.” We are sunbathing in the irony.
  • UPenn frat Phi Delta Theta decided to send out a digital Christmas card to spread holiday cheer this season. They also spread racism, since their card included a couple dozen white men plus a black female blow-up sex doll. The frat publicly apologized for the “act of poor judgement,” and insisted that the blow-up doll was supposed to be Beyonce, which of course no longer makes it the sexual objectification of a black woman anymore, since it’s Beyonce. Meanwhile, BroBible just didn’t get why everyone’s panties were in such a twist over the situation. Phi Delta Theta has since then been suspended.
  • To lighten things up, here are some photos from the 2015 “Men of the Vet School” Cornell calendar. “Great-looking men and adorable animals” apparently make for a “unique and special dynamic” in this photo series of shirtless guys parading around with puppies and tractors. Yep. Special.
  • And finally, a beleaguered young Princeton freshman is bravely calling out the microaggressions perpetrated against those who pronounce their “wh”s as “hw”s. For those who don’t know what we or he are talking about, think Family Guy’s “cool hwip.” Grassroots activism, y’all. (Sorry, is that a microaggression?)

PRINCETON: Tiger Inn VP and Treasurer Fired After Photo and Email Scandals

It’s been a rough year for Tiger Inn, a Princeton eating club famous for perpetually contradicting the adage that “any press is good press.” In an article published Monday, The New York Times exposed two email leaks that led the club’s Vice President and Treasurer to be requested to leave the board. Less than an hour later, the Daily Princetonian published its own account of the incidents, both of which feature Tiger Inn board members living up to the club’s sexist reputation.

Both articles pulled no punches in describing the sequence of events that forced Tiger Inn into a change of its leadership. According to the Times article, former Vice President Adam Krop forwarded an image of two people “engaged in a sex act” on the public dance floor of a T.I. party to the Tiger Inn listserv; the email included a crude joke as well as the precise identification of the woman as an “asian chick”. The Daily Princetonian, in an attempt offer a more intimate campus perspective on the matter, further clarified that the photo in question was of “a [female] freshman student performing oral sex on a [male] senior student;” the paper also classified the incident as an act of sexual assault, citing Princeton’s daily crime log.

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Guilty of Title IX Violation, Princeton Will Reexamine 11 Sexual Misconduct Cases

The Department of Education’s Office for Civil Rights announced on November 5th that Princeton has been found guilty of a Title IX violation, prompting the university to review all of its sexual assault cases from the past three years. The OCR’s verdict stated that Princeton had not “promptly and equitably responded” to complaints of sexual violence, including harassment and assault. Along with the guilty verdict, the OCR announced a resolution for an agreement with Princeton to ensure further compliance with Title IX. Princeton’s policies and procedures in place to respond to cases of sexual assault at the time of the investigation were also not compliant with Title IX’s requirements. Much like Columbia’s Title IX complaint filed in April, OCR’s investigation was a response to complaints filed on behalf of students.

Princeton was prepared for the verdict.

Welcome to the Eating Clubs

Hello Princeton freshpeople, hope you’ve been adjusting well. As you try to poach upperclassmen to get a guest pass inside an eating club, here’s what you’re missing when it’s not open to the (kind of) public:

Live from Ivy

Thanks to an anonymous tipster, here’s a video seemingly from last year’s Titanic theme party at Ivy, the Princeton eating club. One of their many theme parties throughout the year, this one involves a chosen Jack and Rose, seen being Jack and Rose here. Seniors dress up as first-class passengers, juniors as second-class, and newly minted Ivy sophomores as third-class passengers. Because if there’s anything Princeton loves, it’s clearly defined class statuses.

The guy in the $10,000 suit plays the viola

In the July 28th issue of the New Yorker we were treated to the story of the Carpenter family, described by Rebecca Mead as “imagined into being by Wes Anderson.” Sean, Lauren, and David Carpenter all attended Princeton on financial aid, but are now living the life posing as Stradivari asset managers to promote their musical careers. We think? It seems they just wanted the opportunity to play these extraordinary instruments so badly they cracked the financial market for them.

Sean and Lauren both served as concertmaster at Princeton while David only played in the orchestra briefly, choosing instead to follow the spotlight as a soloist. The siblings “have a disconcerting habit of referring to themselves in the first-person plural,” are all unmarried (“We just haven’t met the right person yet”), and now live together in a two-bedroom apartment at the Plaza. Their mother often sleeps over.

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Pro Princeton Prof Lawn Vigilante

ORFE Professor John Mulvey, who has been at Princeton since 1978, got a little too involved in the local community. You know those lawn signs proprietors put outside your house after doing work there? Mulvey’s allegedly been stealing them — 21 of them, valued at $471 total.

Say what?!

Princeton Reunions 2014, visualized

Princeton Reunions, a carnival of bacchanalia replete with old white men singing a capella and drinking from handles, hit central Jersey this weekend. IvyGate correspondents on the ground sent in updates and photos, featured here. Highlights included a surprise concert by Flo Rida, thrown by the class of 1989 on their 25th reunion — and open to all classes. A 101-year-old alum came by for the festivities, and fireworks shot out around campus. The Class of 2014 successfully stormed the field after the P-rade and sang Old Nassau, and non-Princetonians are still terribly confused by all of this. Congratulations to all of Princeton for upholding your single greatest tradition and we urge you to get some eggs and ginger ale and sober up.

Gallery after the jump

PRINCETON: Check your definition of privilege

In an email to IvyGate, Tal Fortgang, P ’17 and author of a viral article in the Princeton Tory, charged us to “[m]ake me look bad!” Well Mr. Fortgang, with your blessing…

Tired of being oppressed for being a white male in America, Fortgang (who hails from Westchester) wrote the infamous Tory article detailing why he has earned the immense privilege he gets from being both male and white. The article has been covered everywhere from The Blaze to Slate, and republished in Time. Comments on the original post have ranged from praise to disbelief.

Consider the idea that a person who loses an argument is the only one who gains something from the exercise. That will turn you into a person with the ability to grow and not just someone others perceive to be an entitled asshole.”

Great article! Well written and with great eloquence. I commend you on taking an unpopular stance in a politically correct/liberal leaning society.”

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Princeton Profs Deride Princeton Mom

On March 11th, the Daily Princetonian published an interview with “Princeton Mom” Susan Patton, P’77. On March 25th, the Daily Princetonian published a letter to the editor signed by over 200 Princeton faculty members, including Joyce Carol Oates and Anne-Marie Slaughter, written in response to one of Patton’s answers.

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