Hey, remember those T-shirts making fun of Sept. 11 by comparing the Twin Towers to Leverett’s towers? Well, the Harvard Voice, which published an image of the t-shirt, at right, indicates they originated at the Harvard Lampoon. Which has, we guess, gone from making hit movies and spawning comedy legends to, um, silk-screening t-shirts.

Congratulations, Lampoon! You got the campus talking about you again! All it took was a tasteless prank that was foiled really quickly!

Last night, famed Yale prankmasters, the Pundits, invaded a Yale Political Union debate on “Rejecting Hookup Culture” to express their views. They vigorously made out with one another in the lecture hall, for several minutes. The event was BYOMP (Bring Your Own Makeout Partner), and the horny horde was decidedly DTMO (Down To Make Out). We promised you pics; with the help of Cross Campus, we’re coming through in a pinch. After the jump, feast your eyes.

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The Bullblog indicates that Yalies have Santa fever. Yale is stuck somewhere between a lump of coal and a stocking full of chocolate and a new Xbox on the “Christmas glee” scale. They’ve got both brands.

NICE: A giant Santa hat disrupting the Microeconomics exam.

NAUGHTY: The slightly more sinister Santacon bringing drunken, loutish Fathers Christmas to the streets of New Haven.

As end of semester distractions go, this beats Columbia’s Orgo night—advertised this year with fliers promising attendees camera time in Spider-Man 4—but still can’t quite measure up to naked, careening Harvard men. Is it Christmas break yet?

Do you think the assholes that strung these lights up to make fun of Jonathan Edwards College realized that they almost wrote “Jesus Swalloz”?

That’s not in the Christmas spirit, Elis.

The Daily Princetonian’s overdesigned* blog started a nasty rumor a few days ago prompting panic in the cobblestone streets from Providence to Ithaca, Cambridge to New Haven. IvyGate is dead. The loving eulogy begins:

IvyGate, the blog that in the past has chronicled the foibles and follies of the young and over-educated (read: Ivy League students and recent graduates), has been noticeably dormant in the past month.

And like a warm tear running slowly down a baby’s cheek at Michael Jackson’s funeral:

Tales of the Ivy League that rose to fame on IvyGate include the saga of Yale abortion artist Aliza Shvarts, Yale self-promoter Alexsy Vayner and sex-crazed Colombia grad student Angela Rasmussen.

The rumor is false, faithful readers.

Yes, IvyGate has indeed written some badass sagas about many-a sex-crazed narcissist, and we will write about many more. At IvyGate’s worldwide headquarters in Williamsburg, New York City, tiny elven zombies have been working round the clock to train our supple new talent. Look forward to some more great things by Bobby Fineman, Brice Reynolds, and Daniel D’Addario.

In the meantime, we’re still hiring.

* – Assertions of demise and/or underworded obituaries definitely warrant a jab or two at your blog, Prox. Email us directly for pointers on why one should never try to make a website look like a stack of papers.

Last week, monkeys were on the loose in New Haven.

In a strange-enough-to-convince prank, “James A. Perrotti, Chief of Yale Police,” sent an email (from a Gmail account) to the university. Apparently five rhesus monkeys had gotten loose from the Child Study Center. Based on the email:

The animals are infected with the Motaba virus, a hemorrhagic fever native to central Africa; Yale-New Haven Hospital staff is ready to administer the E-1101 serum, but it must be administered within several hours of infection.

Potential tip-off: Why would Yale have diseased monkeys in the child study center?

This mystery is only compounded by the fact that searching “Motaba virus” on Wikipedia takes you directly to the page for the film Outbreak. The monkeys purportedly escaped at 5:07am on Thursday; the YDN reported a number of pranksters aping the imaginary lab creatures in full monkey suits. Anything for some time away from class – or a sweet, sweet banana.

The Yale Daily News debunked this whopper in no time. But the pranksters (Pundits?) did show up wearing some costumes. We got pictures. See the original prank email in full along with photos (Update: from the Yale Herald. See more below) after the jump.

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A couple of days ago, a drunk Harvard Law grad Brian Schroeder burned down a chapel containing the remains of and memorials to unidentified 9/11 victims. Schroeder turned himself into police soon thereafter and posted the $3,000 bail Sunday night.

The remains managed to make it out unscathed thanks to some badass, apparently fireproof chambers made to protect the DNA that might one day identify the victims. The wooden benches, cards, photos, flowers, and other painfully sweet memorials, however, did not have badass, fireproof containers. They were destroyed.

Of course, Schroeder’s friends and family think he’s a real stand-up guy and that the incident was somewhat out of character. According to his mother:

[Brian] doesn’t really have any explanation or memory of what took place. Now, he’s just trying to minimize the damage to his career and make amends. You know, take responsibility and move on.

Do go on, Mrs. Schroeder…

I’m appalled and my heart goes out to [the families who had built memorials to loved ones lost in the 9/11 attacks at the E. 30 St. chapel]. Because I know it’s basically like a cemetery and a memorial that’s so very important. I just cannot imagine, nor can he, why he would have done that.

Bingo. Why would you do that? Seriously, dude, burning down a cemetery/memorial is not a funny prank. This is a somewhat funny, Ivy League prank. But let’s go on the record and just say stop trying, Ivy League-rs. Or you will lose your job and your six-figure salary. Like Brian did.

Oh, and it might help if you stopped wearing those Ed Hardy t-shirts. That shit is made of the devil’s old underwear or something.

UPDATE: The prank was actually pulled by the Pundits. More below.

Over the next few hours before Yale’s tap night, a few sorry Scroll and Key hopefuls will be finishing up their applications to join the secret society.  We’re sorry all you wannabe Keysmen. It’s a hoax. And if our well-informed hunch proves to be correct, it’s yet another Rumpus hoax.

Several anonymous tips came in to us over the past day or so calling Wolf on an obviously fake email. In short, the message said that Society of Scroll and Key would be opening up the 2010 Delegation to applications.  (!?!)

After the jump, a little bit of banter about Rumpus and the full text of the hoax email.

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There’s about 5 hours left for excusable shenanigans this year, and we double dare you to impress us. Because so far, this year’s April Fools’ Day has in no way involved subway trains springing from the ground, the Taco Liberty Bell, Smellovision, or anything else that actually fooled or entertained. The most interesting pitiful prank in our narrow yet elite frame comes from Unigo, that site that sounds like a Japanese clothing chain but isn’t.

On the tails of all those racist emails and Ivy League denials, Unigo created a listing for Cornmouth because evidently Dartmouth and Cornell have merged due to their “flaccid endowments.” Yes, Unigo. That quote got you the prize. This little slice of truth for the rejects out there is also not bad:

Cornmouth is a member of the Ivy League, which means that it is prohibitively expensive and filled with people who are smarter than we are. The guy who smokes pot 10-15 times a day, often out of a piece of fruit, is smarter than we are… The fellow who wears an eye patch for nonmedical reasons and literally changed his name (first and last) to “Why” is smarter than we are. These awful people are just some of the reasons you will not get into Cornmouth.

As for the real Cornell, the Daily Sun did an awesome job ripping off the Guardian’s Twitter fakeout. Then there’s the Harvard alum who painstakingly Harvardized the style of the Drudge Report into a wine guide. And we’re still wondering who thought Photoshopping a CGI catapult into a picture of Brown’s campus and then talking about the SDS would be funny. Probably the same dude that’s smoking pot out of fruit.

(Editor’s note: Gone are days when Facebook pokes were real, and Brunonians took the resultant sex jokes to their proper climax. Maybe Easter will be funny?)

Googling Princeton’s still spanking new, eBay-funded Whitman College now yields a misleading (but telling?) opportunity to buy the heart attack inducing weight-loss drug Phentermine. Common side effects include: change in sexual desire, psychosis, and hostility with urge to attack. The drug is also one half of Fen-Phen, reaper of the late-90s, pre-WebMD death spree.  Sound like any Whitman students?

While searching for “Whitman College Princeton” brings up the offer to buy the drug for impressively low and prescription free prices, the link clicks through to Princeton’s site. Whether it’s a pointed prank or a likely hack on some careless IvyGate editor’s laptop remains to be seen. But we can only hope Princeton’s not headed for some controlled substance induced attack from some skinny, sex-starved, palpitating nutter. Those poor Tigers had enough trauma with that awful run in with deadly laptop stealers from MS-13 a couple years back.