So Harvard students are like, totally standing up to Dean Pilbeam and his anti-drinking crusade! Just because some silly administrator wants to get rid of university funding for undergraduate parties doesn't mean the students have to take it! Somehow, someone convinced these kids that fighting Pilbeam is fighting fascism at home. This, friends, is the battle of our time: if Harvard students don't receive $1700 a week to throw parties, the terrorists / Islamofascists / Nazis / whatever win.

According to the Crimson, the Undergraduate Council isn't going down without a fight.  Despite Pilbeam's harshly-worded letter, the council voted to allocate $17,000 for 10 weeks of party grants. What's more, the President of the UC sent a letter to Pillbeam almost Churchillian its eloquence/self-importance. His words will make you want to cry, if only at the heartbreaking solipsism of the average Harvard student:

I can only believe that despite the wealth of power the administration retains, despite its power to harass, to withhold, to prosecute and to destroy, it still stands in awe of reason… Perhaps, it fears, despite its liberal use of fear-mongering and its casual ignorance of fact, the world will peel back the curtain and discover the emptiness that lies behind. I have no doubt that the administration will go to any length, will press any advantage, and will commit any crime to assert its domination over the Council, as it has already committed the worst crime of all: it has rejected truth in claiming to protect it…

The Council may spend its funds as it wishes, but it must not spend money on certain initiatives. Anyone may say whatever he or she wants, but must do so according to pre-established rules of propriety and etiquette. The absurd has truly made its home in the seat of rationality. ??As the contradictions in our society have become more obvious, the number of individuals who have joined our ranks continues to grow. Never before have so many joined our mailing list. Never before have so many written letters to Dean Pilbeam, called Dean Kidd, and demanded that they account for their actions. And never before have we seen such a brilliant outpouring of political art, ranging from the humorous to the cynical to the hopeful."

Undergraduate Council, this is truly your finest hour.

After the jump: the letter in full. Read the rest of this entry »