He’s ba-ack! Harvard’s self-proclaimed “male Britney Spears” and maker of gloriously cheesy music videos, Petros, has gyrated his way back into the spotlight, and this time it’s not sparkle-infused jizzum he’s selling but golddigging, gloryholes, and self-love. Ladies and gentlemen, prepare to be, er, petrified, by “Predator.”

Our last post on Petros didn’t go over so well, so in the interest of fairness, we requested an interview this time around. For almost an hour on Gchat, the man known to mere mortals as Peter Shields (Harvard ‘09) entertained all kinds of annoying questions about his mad dance moves and killer pecs. He’s self-deprecating, startlingly self-aware, and— dare I say— fun!

IvyGate: Both “Body Glow” and “Predator” refer to making “videos.” Can we expect a Petros sex tape any time soon?
Petros: C’mon, Maureen.
IvyGate: What? Lena Chen had one!
Petros: Sex tapes propel career that are already set. We still have to work on mine for a bit. I’d say 2015.

More from everyone’s favorite Greek-American singing sensation on sexual politics, the state of pop music, and why he’ll never actually be Britney Spears. After the jump.

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You know you’ve truly arrived in this world when people start accusing you of being The Man. And according to the Harvard Independent’s blog, Maureen, Hal and I — three of the most disorganized fuck-ups to have matriculated at Princeton in some time — are just that!  As it turns out, we’re actually right-wing, semi-closeted/semi-bigoted Yalies with a malicious anti-Harvard agenda. We even got a punny public-enemy-moniker a la Man Coulter or Lindsay Blowhan. Well, sort of:

I’ve never been a big fan of IvyGate (from hereon referred to as “IvyHate”), … they strike me as a gang of self-serving (what the Crimson would call “masturbatory”) Yalies out to drown their own social inhibitions in bitter stabs at their rival college.

IvyHate [is] promoting the subsequent downfall of our institution’s [Harvard's] reputation… Nice try, IvyGate. We know what you’re up to.

Sir: Whatever our myriad crimes against Harvard may be, we are certainly not worth 750 words of your time. That’s like twelve porn downloads worth!

The entire hilarious blog post — including the words “heteronormative” and “Rivers Cuomo” — after the jump.

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We bring you the “Body Glow” video from international music sensation “Petros,” a.k.a. Peter Shields, Harvard ’09.  Well, he’s not really an international sensation, though we’ve gotten several emails telling us this video is all the rage in Cambridge these days.

The song is quite un-good and the video has this fake-Catholic guilt thing going on (come on, Petros, America is so over that) as Petros and his cohort rub glittery sweat all over each other and the girl has some kind of bloodied seizure and then goes to a church and then – hey! – there’s Petros like half taking off his shirt at the beach and all this interspliced with gratuitous Catholic imagery and medium-okay looking Harvard girls trying as hard as they can to dance and – wait! – at minute 1:30 the girl touches the back of her head only to find Petros’ jizzum!

With the production values of a third-string mid-90’s R&B music video as choreographed by a third-string college dance company, the whole thing is pretty strange. The problem with shooting a music video at Harvard is that you have to use Harvard girls, who even at their prettiest aren’t exactly booty-shaking material.

“Petros” is obviously self-obsessed (his Facebook profile includes many, many links to his successes; according to himself, his main job right now is “marketing this hot chick named Brandi Carlile” but he seems more into marketing and linking to himself than to Ms. Carlile) but I still sort of wish him luck. You’ve got to hand it to “Petros”: “Body Glow” took effort, ambition, and a total lack of shame.  And it’s only bad in the way that most cultural output is bad. It’s not specifically Harvard bad. Carry on, Peter. Carry on.