NEW HAVEN — In a unanimous decision by the Yale Corporation, Provost Peter Salovey has been selected as the next President of Yale University.
The announcement came in a rather secretive, almost-closed-to-everyone-but-the-YDN press conference (reporters from lesser publications could be seen loitering outside the McDougal Center of the Hall of Graduate Arts and Sciences, where the event was held). Salovey, who is known for his (no longer) mustache first and professional accomplishments second, will assume the post beginning June 30th.
According to the most carelessly done Google search in history, Salovey has previously served as Dean of Yale College and the Graduate School of Arts and Sciences, owns a Havanese dog, and is married to Marta Moret, president of Urban Policy Strategies, LLC and ’84 Graduate of the School of Public Health.
In his acceptance speech, Salovey posed the question “What kind of Yale do you imagine?” which really encapsulated his vision for “a more unified Yale, a more innovative Yale, a more accessible Yale, and a more excellent Yale.” After the announcement, what we assumed to be various Corporation fellows and Yale society luminaries (including Yale’s Favorite Son, Brandon Levin) lined up to shake Salovey’s hand and congratulate him. The general feeling from the crowd was one of excitement, relief, and speculation as to whether or not the mustache would make a comeback.