Susan Finkelstein, a 43-old University of Pennsylvania grad student, posted an ad on Craigslist offering sex for money. Well, not exactly money. World Series tickets. They're as good as money.
DESPERATE BLONDE NEEDS WS TIX (Philadelphia) Diehard Phillies fan--gorgeous tall buxom blonde-- in desperate need of two World Series Tickets. Price negotiable--- I'm the creative type! Maybe we can help each other!
Well, the ad is certainly suggestive. (Who doesn't have a "gorgeous tall buxom blonde" friend, of "the creative type," "help" them out every once in a while?) But an undercover officer who replied to the ad claims that after meeting Finkelstein at a bar and having a few beers, she offered to perform explicit sexual acts. He slapped the cuffs on her, threw her in his car, and, err, took her to the big house for some punishment.
So is this an innocent he-said-"Will you..."-she-said-"If you..." situation? The Daily Pennsylvaniancan explain the defense with two quotes:
“She was willing to — if she could afford it — pay money or work some type of deal to get tickets, but we completely dispute and deny that there was an offer a trade of sex for tickets,” [Finkelstein's lawyer] told KYW.
“I didn’t do anything wrong, so I’m not embarrassed about my actions,” Finkelstein told the Associated Press.
After the jump, the full on explanation (in photos) of why this lady is awesome either way.
Last week, Georgetown sophomore Charley Cooper made national news with a job listing for a personal assistant. He's 20-years old and apparently the whole college affair all too much for him to handle on his own.
According to Vox Populi, the Georgetown Voice's blog, the original as went something like this:
As my PA you will receive an email once a day by 9:00 am with a task list for that day and a time estimate for each task. Important tasks will be bolded on the list and must be done that day (even though everything on the list should theoretically be finished on a daily basis) …
PA example tasks -Organize closet -make bed -Drop off / pick up dry cleaning -Drop me off / pick me up from work -Do laundry -Fill up gas tank -bring car for servicing -schedule appointment for haircut -Pay parking tickets -manage electronic accounts -shopping and running errands -other random tasks.
Needless to say, Georgetown is not in the Ivy League. (And neither is Mr. Cooper.) But when a student does something so god-awful douchey that the Washington Post reports on it, something must be done.
Everyone's favorite Yale student, Aleksey "So Sexy" Veyner, might've done something like this. And Mike Kopko definitely started DormAid, a service that offered maid services to Harvard dorm rooms and pissed off pretty much the entire school. But Georgetown should know better, right?
HYP: Time to celebrate. Everyone else: Get ready to be pissed off.
Justin Pope over at the Associated Press scooped the US News & World Report college rankings by 6 and a half hours. While we vivisected some of the rankings from the the Princeton Review's "Best 371 Colleges" and Forbes, no one cares about those lists.
Onward past the jump to the rankings that really matter, which we arrange into a handy, numbered list, because for some reason Pope didn't do that. Read the rest of this entry »
Conservatives have said for years that the Ivy League elitists hate the troops. In recent years, Ivy Leaguers have attempted to undermine the United States military by trying to disenroll family members from the Naval Academy or contaminating the Marines with gay. But as of yet, no Ivy alum has physically harmed members of the military. Until now.
The New York Timesreported last week that Dr. Gary Kao of the Philadelphia V.A. Medical Center is the worst doctor since Doug from Scrubs. Dr. Kao--who has a Ph.D. from Penn--had been treating veterans with prostate cancer by using a common procedure in which radioactive seeds are implanted into the prostate to attack tumors. The obstacle for Dr. Kao is that you can't find the prostate on Google Maps.
Most of the seeds, 40 in all, landed in the patient’s healthy bladder, not the prostate.
Yeah, that's not good. So that patient had to return for a second implant. This time, Dr. Kao injected his rectum, missing the prostate again. According to the Times, Dr. Kao's team at the V.A. Hospital had screwed up 92 of 116 cancer treatments over six years. That rate of failure is so incredibly high that Dr. Kao must have been trying to give veterans radioactive butt on purpose. One internal medicine doctor--upon seeing the 92 of 116 statistic--said, "He could have done better just by guessing."
In a bizarre alternate universe, one where giant alien robots masquerade as roadsters and fighter jets, and where non-banker Ivy League twerps inexplicably manage to land hot girlfriends, Penn and Princeton are not rivals separated by state lines and forty-five miles, but constituent parts of the same university:
Twenty seconds into the newest trailer for Transformers 2, viewers are treated to a sweeping aerial shot of Princeton's campus. Immediately after that, there's ground level footage of Penn's Quad. There the mother of Shia LaBeouf's character spins around in a circle and says, "Look at this place - I feel smarter already. Can you smell it?"
"Yeah," her husband replies, "smells like forty thousand dollars a year."
Actually, it's more like fifty thousand. And does anyone know why Michael Bay decided to film on two separate campuses? We were baffled last year, and we still are.
Attention Elis: You may have already won the Swine Flu Clearinghouse! According to the Yale University Health Services, at least four patients are currently being treated for influenza A and awaiting test results from the Connecticut Department of Health, AKA Swine Flu Central.
While other schools seem to be sticking to the Cover Your Cough handbook, Yale looks like they might actually be taking this shit seriously. Because kids are dying. In Mexico. Accordingly, the Yale administration has put a stop on all funding to go to Mexico based on a campus-wide email that made it into our tip box. (Don't worry, students are going to go anyways. Chiapas is crazy this time of year.)
In an unexpectedly extreme move, Dartmouth is actually pulling kids out of Mexico. It looks like the 11 study abroaders at the Dartmouth Language School Abroad program in Cholula might not learn the subjunctive case after all. Hopefully they got in on the hot sauce manufactured there. You know, the one with the wooden top. IvyGate favorite, that is.
After the jump, a school-by-school report of the biggest health scare in the United States that doesn't really seem all that scary. But it's always fun seeing surgical masks in the street.
In an "After the Recession" interview with the New York Times, today, President Obama slammed the quality of education at U.S. colleges in the age of grade inflation, naked parties, and IvyGate.
The somewhat convoluted criticism outlines the difference between the high school education his grandmother used to ascend to corporate vice presidency and the college education most kids are currently using to ascend the stairs of the local unemployment office. And he trashes the letter-writing skills of University of Chicago Law School students!
She went to work as a secretary. But she was able to become a vice president at a bank partly because her high-school education was rigorous enough that she could communicate and analyze information in a way that, frankly, a bunch of college kids in many parts of the country can’t. She could write —
Today, you mean?
THE PRESIDENT: Today. She could write a better letter than many of my — I won’t say “many,” but a number of my former students at the University of Chicago Law School.
So you're probably thinking where's the Ivy? Who needs to know how to write a letter when some can pull in six figures for kissing great ass? Excellent question, Watson! No matter what the name of the school is, the recession is slapping the meaning of employability across its status-obsessed face. And even Obama's Columbia-Harvard one-two doesn't mean a thing if you have no real abilities.
After the jump watch some Wharton students wipe their noses on the cuffs of their Thomas Pink shirts.
This specific quiz application, now over 51,000 users strong, exists alongside those soothsaying exercises like "Which Disney princess are u?" and "ARE YOU GOOD IN BED?" but we're sure this is the real deal. Written by a graduate of both Harvard and Columbia (and NYU), the questions might as well ask what your favorite brand of socks is or which Golden Girls character have you thought about during sex.
But really. What are the criteria? One wall poster from India also wants to know "How reliable is it?" So being the mad scientists we are, we devised a rigorous experiment, put on lab coats, and got out our electric orb that makes your hair stand up.
After tooling around with this for about 5 minutes, we think we've got it solved. Answer "Money" to question 8, "Clubbing" to question 5, and "I'm flawless" to number 10. You'll be a Harvardian every time.
Check out a few screen shots after the jump. And to answer those hanging questions: Thorlo and Blanche.
Penn grad DJ Lubel '05 popped back into the spotlight this weekend with his video about the Ivy League swill in Murray Hill. The video references to "Jew geography" and Lehman Bros emeriti in that elevated piece of Manhattan in the 30s on the East Side. Cool, but it's worth watching for the dood-bros mooning the camera in front of the stretch Hummer at Joshua Tree.
The song's audio has actually been floating around the Internet since last year or so. NYMag nailed it when they summed up the point:
We all go to temple but we worship the dough We've got more Japs than all of Tokyo Pour me a Grey Goose and Red Bull As I take this Adderal pill Tonight I'm blacking out up on Murray Hill
The ruinous state of our economy has done little to deter this year's batch of Ivy aspirants; for the class of 2013, acceptances rates fell at six of the eight Ivy League schools.
Harvard and Yale solidified their positions as the toughest schools to get into, at 7% and 7.5%, respectively, though the school formerly known as the College of New Jersey - while maintaining its third place position - slid, much to the dismay of some prestige-hungry Princetonians, precipitously close to its proletarian New York City peer.
If we had to hazard a guess, we'd say the general rise in applications to the Ivy League may be owed in part to its constituents' sizable endowments and commitment to need-blind financial aid; in marked contrast, several other selective colleges and universities - including Colby and Oberlin - are, according to the New York Times, looking more favorably on wealthier applicants as they make admissions decisions this year."
Perhaps the decrease in selectivity at both Princeton and Penn is due to the fact that they are, or rather have been, traditional feeders into Wall Street - a Wall Street that is no longer as glamorous as it was a few years before. If that yawn-inducing class on financial derivatives or corporate valuation isn't going to net you that super sweet 100-hour a week gig at Lehman Brothers or Bear Stearns you might as well learn hot boxing 101 and take creative writing classes pass/fail at Brown.
Susan Finkelstein, a 43-old University of Pennsylvania grad student, posted an ad on Craigslist offering sex for money. Well, not exactly money. World Series tickets. They're as good as money.
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Last week, Georgetown sophomore Charley Cooper made national news with a job listing for a personal assistant. He's 20-years old and apparently the whole college affair all too much for him to handle on his own.
HYP: Time to celebrate. Everyone else: Get ready to be pissed off.
Conservatives have said for years that the Ivy League elitists hate the troops. In recent years, Ivy Leaguers have attempted to undermine the United States military by 
Attention Elis: You may have already won the Swine Flu Clearinghouse! According to the 
In an 
Do you ever feel like the admissions committee just got it wrong? That you really are more of a 
The ruinous state of our economy has done little to deter this year's batch of Ivy aspirants; for the class of 2013, acceptances rates fell at six of the eight Ivy League schools.
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