This issue of OSF is so sickening we didn't even want to make fun of it. Sure, there are grammatical mistakes, semi-literate ledes ("So after my last article about how art history is the bomb," etc.) and the occasional misplaced participle. But taken as an organic whole, this issue serves up such a damning critique of everything that enabled its existence -- Princeton, the Ivy League, even America itself -- that ultimately we just felt depressed and disgusted. We both have yet to actually finish the magazine. You can download this miscarriage of the brain as a PDF either here or here.

According to founder/visionary Harrison Schaen , OSF "started with a dream." Yet they awoke from this dream only to find it had been transfigured, like Gregor Samsa, into a verminous monstrosity misunderstood and reviled by everyone who came into contact with it. The latest OSF includes rapt coverage of the lame wealth-mongering event that is the Princeton fashion show, fake-tan advice ("Getting a tan from the sun is not a good solution"), copious ninja humor, shopping suggestions for $17,000 watches, Spring fashion advice (the magazine was published in early June) , and inane softball interviews with Tara Reid and David Geffen. Let it be said: this magazine does nothing either to inform or to entertain, unless by accident, and it is not even remotely connected to journalism. It reads like a deranged hybrid of New York and Variety if "Charly" from Flowers for Algernon wrote copy.

On pg. 14, underneath the massive garishly-decked-out heading, "WHAT'S FRESH," we're presented with a crude collage of hideously expensive luxury-goods, all of which have apparently been deemed "fresh" by the genius tastemakers who run this irredeemable shitshow. Did you know that Phillip Crangi earrings, only $2,550, are "fresh"? For some reason adjacent to this they've printed "888-8-BARNEYS." It's unclear whether this has been done because they think this is proof of some high-fashion in-knowledge which is supposed to impress us, or whether because they think these tiny, crappy pictures are so amazingly compelling that people will be digging their iPhones out of their oh-so-fresh Ralph Lauren Collection Totes ($900) in order to call in orders right away. For only $475 we learn, you can buy a Cartier silk-cord-and-rose-gold LOVE bracelet, but $100 of that goes to the Maasai Wilderness Conservation Trust. This magazine is too retarded even for socialites.

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