Losing a job sucks. It sucks more when it seems – as it does these days – to come from factors beyond your own control. But being unemployed only excuses you from so much, and for so long. Last week’s installment of the Daily Intel’s “sex diaries” made that point exceedingly clear.  The anonymous contributor is a 24-year-old female living in Murray Hill, an Ivy League graduate and unemployed ex-investment banker.

The beginning of her weeklong account begins when she wakes up and realizes that “its only noon”, determines that it’s too rainy to go outside, and orders delivery through SeamlessWeb. Maybe it’s a little late, but why stress yourself when you’ve just been laid off, right? Wrong: “Since getting laid off (okay it’s been six months now), life has been a cycle of drinking, boys, hangover, and Seamless.”

That cycle, we learn, has been sustained in part by older men:

I am currently dating a few to finance my Manhattan meal plan. I promised myself the liquid diet, but not when you are having a free fabulous dinner at Del Posto. Mumble an excuse after dinner about not feeling well and having to call it an early night.

There’s something savvy about the way our anonymous heroine manages to eat lavishly without a job, but there’s also something pathetic about resorting to tactics used by aspiring trophy wives.

After the jump: the most embarrassing and pathetic incident of the week.

Read the rest of this entry »

Ivy Gate’s favorite real-estate scion, media titan, and robber baron Jared Kushner laid claim Wednesday to the best thing Donald Trump ever produced: Ivanka Trump. That’s right, he’s going to unite two great New York real-estate dynasties under a chuppah. Little Ivanka herself broke the story Thursday with that newfangled Twitter doohickey:

I got engaged last night…truly the happiest day of my life!!!

Three exclamation points and an ellipses!!! That’s 9.5 percent of her characters in that Tweet. A well-punctuated lady indeed. Not to be outdone, Huffington Post posted a story yesterday with similar exaltation over the union, “Jared Kushner, Ivanka Trump Engaged!” Of course, what lady wouldn’t be happy with a platinum 5.22 carat diamond ring selected from her own jewelry line?

Of course The Donald is happy with the union— it’s more publicity for the King of Class:

“I’m very happy about it. They make a magnificent couple.”

According to HuffPo, Ivanka recently told New York that Jared was perfect for her because they are both alcoholics, but for work. So the Trumps aren’t going to fire Jared. But the Kushner clan aren’t so thrilled their son had been smitten by a shiksa.

Though she is converting to Judaism, studying with Rabbi Haskel Lookstein at Congregation Kehilath Jeshurun on East 85th Street, it has not always been easy. Jared’s mother, in particular, has struggled with their relationship. Last summer, Seryl told Jared to cool it. They broke up for a time but soon got back together.

Ouch. It looks like Seryl will have to accept that a Trump womb will bear Kushner fruit. There’s still time to find Joshua a nice Jewish girl, though.

Mazel tov to the future Mr. and Mrs. Jared Kushner, and may your first child be a masculine child.