Professional crazy person Jesse Morrell was right. The gays have taken over the Ivy League.

The Crimson reports that Harvard’s Memorial Church will soon echo with the strains of “Here Comes The Bride” for two very special undergraduates. And get this: they’re both men! The Cantab pioneers, Billy Stallings ’10 and Paul Nauert ’09, are engaged to marry at Harvard this summer, having forged their union under a star and bat-filled San Antonio sky earlier this year. Yes, you heard that right:

I knew at that moment as bats were flying overhead and the stars were coming out, and then he said, ‘Will you marry me?’

Satanic sky-rats: how romantic. (FYI, bats are the only flying animals that practice oral sex. Also: vampires!) But hold up! Stalling’s dad is a Reverend.

Hold up again! He’s really, really supportive… Take that Leviticus 18:22:

I think they’re perfectly matched. They’re compatible, terribly interested in what the other is doing, and they promote each other’s interests. They’re talking about adopting children and having a family.

Preach it, preacher-man! After all, shouldn’t this adorable pair have the same right as the rest of us to lock themselves in the loveless and sexless Dantesque dungeon that is monogamous marriage? (Exhibit A: my parents.)

Hetero-normativity aside, we totally endorse this couple’s patent adorableness. Comparing their poise and maturity to some of Harvard’s classy straight gentlemen—Exhibit B: Matt “my spooge tastes like unripe bananas” DiPasquale—these fellas pass with flying colors. (Rainbow joke immaturely intended).

Reality checks, awkwardness, envy and Frankie Valli after the jump.

Read the rest of this entry »

When we last left Yale alum and crazy liar Aleksey Vayner, he had a poorly designed website and was writing a book called Millionaire’s Blueprint to Success. Of course, cursory examination revealed the website and book likely products of plagiarism. Idea theft, grand plans and a website: it was business as usual for Mr. Vayner. But today Ivygate brings you Vayner news that does not involve plagiarism or crackpot schemes: Aleksey may be married. According to an anonymous tipster:

I heard from a friend who knew him before his stupendous rise to tool-dome [sic] via video that he’s married. No details except the waif like…blonde in is [sic] facebook picture is apparently the lucky lady.

There you have it. Vayner has not yet reponded to Ivygate’s request for comment. Could it be that the attractive blonde in the above facebook picture is Mrs. Vayner? If true, this is easily Vayner’s greatest accomplishment.

As reported in the estimable Bwog of Columbia University yesterday, Columbia President Lee Bollinger’s son, Lee Bollinger Also, has gotten himself hitched to a pretty third grade teacher named Jennifer Ellis. Having barely survived an in-class cross examination from Lee the Elder myself in his constitutional law class, I have sympathy for Jennifer in what is sure to be a long and happy life filled with tear inducing Thanksgiving dinner interrogations.

Also earning my sympathy are the legions of Spectator staffers, past and present, male and female, who have now lost their last chance to “bag a Lee Bollinger.” I guess those photoshopped naked pictures of Prezbo in the old Eye office will have to do.  The Silver Fox does NOT commit cruel and petty infidelity, and, one assumes, neither will his doppelgang-banger spawn.