The day after I wrote about Keggy's kegnapping, Deadspin reported that Keggy had been found, albeit "suffering one torn off eye and a badly damaged nose." Since I was in a rush, and because blogs are particularly renowned for their reliability, I took Deadspin's word for it and emailed Jacko Editor-in-Chief Dylan Kane that I had heard of Keggy's glorious recovery, and that I wanted to hear about all of the juicy details relating to the incident.

He replied:

Um, definitely not! Who told you that? No, Keggy is still missing. I might as well give you the rundown, I never did over the phone:

We last saw him safely sometime over the summer. July, maybe? Definitely late June he was here.

He must have been missing by the end of August, because the room he was in got reassigned from patriotic, American, apple-pie, penis-joke-based publications (like us) to the international students' orientation crew (not so much) at that time, and the people who did said reassigning say he wasn't in there at the time they took it over, which was more or less the end of August.

He was locked to the table with a bike lock, which we found there, undamaged, without Keggy. So either someone knew the combination, or we were lazy and left it, like, one digit off from the combination. We really don't know.

The mechanics of wearing a giant plastic cylinder are complicated. We use a modified frame pack inside, with some pieces of wood to support the top of the keg. It's incredibly uncomfortable, but it beats the alternative, which is having no support and resting the keg's entire weight on your upper shoulders and top of your receding hairline. It also comes with a costume: green tights, green t-shirt, white shorts, orange high-tops. So whoever took him took ONLY the shell. They can't possibly wear the costume or look much like Keggy, because they left all that stuff behind.

So Keggy is, in fact, still M.I.A. After hearing that I re-read Deadspin's post on Keggy and realized that the blog had mistaken Keggy's current kegnapping with the Sigma Nu kegnapping incident in 2003. Since Jacko's site only mentions the first incident (without a date) it's easy to see how such a misunderstanding could arise.

Read the rest of Kane's email after the jump.

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Keggy the Keg, quite possibly the coolest mascot in the history of the universe, has been kegnapped. According to a campus-wide missive sent by The Dartmouth Jack-O-Lantern - the comedy magazine that spawned the beloved anthropomorphic beer keg and was responsible for creative stunts like "Drinking Time" and, most recently, the "D.Y.E." - staff members returned to campus during pre-orientation only to find that Keggy had been "forcibly abducted" from his home in room 205 of Robinson Hall.

For the uninitiated, Keggy the Keg is the unofficial mascot of Dartmouth, which is offically mascot-less. He rose to prominence in 2003, during the Student Assembly's mascot search project, which was aborted after a poll showed that most students disliked the idea (who wouldn't) of having a moose parading about during athletic events.

Who could possibly commit such an heinous crime? When I first heard about this I immediately thought of the College's administrators. After all, at times they've been known for denying Keggy entry into sporting events, and since they run Dartmouth they could easily have abducted him when everyone was off-campus for the summer. But this question-and-answer on Dartmouth's website seems to suggest a kind of resigned acceptance of Keggy, and plus his theft has been reported to both Dartmouth Safety & Security and the Hanover Police.

If anyone has any information about Keggy's kegnapping, please - for the love a freeflowing tap and the safety of all those who reside in the backwoods of New Hampshire - notify Jack-O-Staff or the toughs at H-Po. Not only will you get the satisfaction of knowing that order has been restored in the quiet town of Hanover, but you'll also get a boatload of free Keggy loot to boot.