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The IvyGate Index: Hollywood

by Nick Summers | November 21, 2006 at 1:29 pm

The following episode of the IvyGate Index® has been rated WTF for strong language and a graphic depiction of a complete lack of Ivy dominance.

Welcome to the third (and probably final) installment of the IvyGate Index®, our hyperscientific gauge of Ivy influence in arbitrarily chosen fields. This time: Hollywood! Are you ready for your close-up?

To measure Ivy dominance of the film industry, we sicced our in-house team of Nobel number crunchers on the 78th Annual Academy Awards. We knew it was a gamble: Hollywood is not the Ivy slumber party that, for example, the media and the executive branch are. But how bad could it be? Movies are important ... and nothing's more important than the Ivies ... so we should totally own these jokers, right?

Not so much. For the top 12 Oscar categories, a grand total of one (1) bona fide Ivy League diploma walked trophy-ward across the Kodak Theatre stage.

Why, it's ... it's almost as if an Ivy diploma is overvalued in this context! Sean Penn, auto mechanics major at Santa Monica College? Say it ain't so! We cry a single tear as we inform you that Hollywood's IGIQ (IvyGate Index Quotient) is a box office bust at exactly 12 percent domination. Slap me Pappy, it's pie chart time:

The IvyGate Index: Hollywood