Yale Crew Team Wishes You A Very Merry (Naked) Christmas

Tipster:

I see Yale’s freshman rowing team have a great christmas postcard …

http://imgur.com/xZx2W [Ed: NSFW! NSFW!]

Censored version below. (Further reading here.)

Season’s greetings everyone!

RagTime: Hobbits and Night Lights Edition

Freshie Corner: Flying Home Edition

Welcome to our “Freshie Corner” series! Over the next few weeks, IvyGate will be launching several recurring features on a variety of topics. (If you’ve got an idea for a running feature or would like to write one, hit us up.) The “Freshie Corner” posts will offer freshmen (or first-years if we’re going to be politically correct) light-hearted advice for hallmark college experiences.

Remember when IvyGate gave you advice on moving into your dorm room? Now we would like to help you learn how to survive what may be for many the first time flying home alone as a college student during the craziness of the holiday season.

What to wear?

  • Wear your Ivy sweatshirt: Herein lies a very precarious balance between college pride and elitist douchiness, (a.k.a. the most blatant way to say you’re smarter than half the people on the plane), but it does have its benefits. Chances are you will see one or two people from your college also wearing college sweatshirts. Consider this your “Bat-Signal” or a non-password needed “Social Experiment.” Get to know people flying back to the same region. Who knows, maybe y’all could split cabs to the airport together in the future.
  •  Wear a dress / suit: Sick of being a college student? Want to create a fake complaint and be bumped up to business class? Boost your credibility in this swindle by learning how the real world works: being able to talk your way through anything and looking good while doing it.

 WTF, TSA?

  • According to New York Mag, men are screaming “don’t scan me bro.
  • According to AP, the media is its worst enemy.
  • However, don’t hate on security. TSA Agents hate this, too.

 Does your airport have a scanner? Yes!

  • Harvard/Boston Logan International Airport
  • Columbia / JFK, LGA, and Newark
  • Penn / Philadelphia International Airport

 Final words of wisdom:

  • Technology is awesome. Don’t forget that you can check-in online 24 hours before your flight.
  •  There will always be screaming children – ALWAYS. Be sure to pack Xanax, Tylenol PM, etc. We hope you have pleasant Robitussin-induced dreams.
  • EXPECT superhuman wait times. Pack the iPod, the books, and maybe the remaining semester’s entire syllabus.
    Although JetBlue has bat-shit crazy flight attendants, they’ll let you check in your first bag for free. Yay! You can justify bringing home your laundry for mom!
  • Don’t want to pay $50 to get to JFK? Thank goodness for the ESC and Carsplit.
  • If you are thinking about skipping Wednesday classes, SKIP! You can always blame it on your parents.
  • If you are in your dorm reading this and have a flight later today, we love you for reading this, but seriously you should leave NOW.

 With Thanksgiving slowly nearing, we at IvyGate hope that your travel is relatively stress / urine free.