No need for Red Bull, or Adderall, ever again, studiers! Harvard Professor David Edwards has developed a breathable coffee, sold for $3 for an individual “stick” that is as heavily caffeinated as a shot of espresso. According to his website, Dr. Edwards doesn’t solely limit himself to researching ways to make caffeine consumption even more gross:

David Edwards’ work includes new approaches to treating infectious diseases, as pioneered by the pharmaceutical company Pulmatrix, and the nonprofit MEND; it includes new ways of eating, such as Le Whif.

So, good for him for keeping busy! The New York Post reports that Dylan’s Candy Bar sold out of the “kooky coffee” within hours, although whether “Le Whif” is a short-term phenomenon or something with staying power is anyone’s guess, mainly because, gross, right?

Hey, remember those T-shirts making fun of Sept. 11 by comparing the Twin Towers to Leverett’s towers? Well, the Harvard Voice, which published an image of the t-shirt, at right, indicates they originated at the Harvard Lampoon. Which has, we guess, gone from making hit movies and spawning comedy legends to, um, silk-screening t-shirts.

Congratulations, Lampoon! You got the campus talking about you again! All it took was a tasteless prank that was foiled really quickly!

Oh, Harvard and your “wit”! At Harvard’s Housing Day — where freshmen are assigned their houses for the rest of their undergrad careers — Leverett House was associated with t-shirts joking about September 11. As an email from Leverett’s faculty advisers, exclusively received by IvyGate, calls the shirts:

fake Leverett T-shirts [...] making a connection between our towers and 9/11.

The Harvard Housing Day website reads:

Each house has its own limited-edition Housing Day t-shirt (or sometimes better… get them polos, Dunster!)

The Housing Day t-shirts for Leverett — or fakes distributed by a rival house, it seems Leverett is claiming? — drew a comparison between Leverett’s Towers (one of which is pictured) and the, um, Twin Towers. Wow, topped even Yale’s “pussy” t-shirts this time, Harvard! Is this the legacy of the Lampoon — humorless, arch referencing of national tragedy? Parody is funny, but this is just boring and predictable. Say the administrators:

But we are also proud of the Leverett House Committees and students who have, year after year, produced shirts that have been clever but not tasteless, and funny without poking fun AT anyone.

There’s that Harvard spirit! The full email from Leverett administrators, after the jump.

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Sometimes we get tips too acerbically bitchy not to post. It’s certainly interesting that HerCampus, Harvard’s fem-mag founded by Windsor Hanger, is expanding into a shop by teaming up with Sasha Rhett. And it’s definitely hysterical that most of Harvard thought their grand announcement email was a silverware advertisement. Just as Editor eye-catching, however, was this sassy rhetorical:

Will Sasha Rhett actually sell a watch(a feat it has not managed up to this point), or will Windsor’s website get any traffic besides Windsor constantly refreshing her page and trying desperate to click her own ads in order to make her site the next Perez Hilton/Daily Candy for the unwitting college girl?

Sweet mother of sass… So, what do you think of HerCampus?

poorly written college women’s magazine founded by Windsor Hanger (Harvard 2010), which usually acts solely to expand its branches to numerous college campuses without producing original content and use endorsement deals to host parties (only Jack Wills would fall for that).

So not the most glowing of reviews. Final thoughts?

If this is the state of ideas coming out of Harvard, God help them.

Well, “Anonymous,” you sound like quite the Mean Girl yourself. Maybe HerCampus should hire you?

Full tip after the jump:

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Lena Chen, the Marianne of IvyGate’s early days, is back — or, really, she never went away. While she may have cut short the youthful antics that made Sex and the Ivy such a fun read, she’s been trucking away on a thesis — apparently about virginity — for which she’ll take requests. If you send Lena your favorite word, she’ll do her very best to squeeze it into the culmination of her academic career: so far, she’s found places for “hodge-podge,” “willy-nilly,” “lollygag,” and “hullaballoo,” though, shockingly, “sexual napalm” has been elided.

Also, we admire Lena’s ability to build on her past infamy and become an interesting — dare we say delightful? — internet presence. How many internet memes are willing to build on their fame in order to show the world their actual achievements, rather than reveling in bad behavior or disappearing altogether? Bravo, Lena! (But if you make any poor decisions, we’re coming for you.)

• Brown: Mayoral candidate banned from campus after “tossing pro-life video” — only in Providence, I guess?
• Columbia: Or maybe not only there: New York state politics — it just keeps getting better!
• Dartmouth: Senior starts his political career really early, hoping to become either Chris Young or Charles Rangel, depending.
• Harvard: Extra! Extra! Rich people, or students, or something, should spend more money, because that’s “honest”!
• Princeton: “This is the first in a three-part series on careers in investment banking and consulting.”

• Brown: “Brown Dining Services’ new Club Plan meal option, which allows seniors to enjoy gourmet food at the Faculty Club, kicked off this year and attracted four subscribers.”
• Columbia: This blurb on an Italian restaurant has — so far! — 51 comments. Welcome to the internet, Spectrum!
• Cornell: “Wind turbines. PRETTY WIND TURBINES.” -Cornell Daily Sun
• Harvard: Faust indicates that she is literally the opposite of Larry Summers — like, if they were in the same room, the room would explode.
• Princeton: The image accompanying this article, of a Princeton girl buying Cheerios at the supermarket in lieu of an eating club is poignant. Very penultimate-scene-of-Hurt Locker. It’s after the jump!

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Harvard Magazine brings us the very special story of a group of people who don’t get the credit or respect they deserve. We’re talking about Harvard undergraduates. We connect you to their second-person singular, for some reason?, account of the life of Becky Cooper ‘10, pictured.

You wake up each morningwith a fever; you feel like a shadow of yourself. But no time for sickness today—the Adams House intramural crew has one of its thrice-weekly practices at 6a.m., and you…will…row. Some mornings, you watch the sunrise from Lamont Library after hitting your study groove there around 11 the night before and bushwhacking through assignments during the quiet time between 3 a.m. and 5.

Good thing none of “your” commitments sound as if they’re exactly… um… non-skippable. The indefatigible Cooper has

hosted a two-hour weekly jazz show on WHRB, and as a freshman acted in Ivory Tower, the long-running Harvard TV soap opera viewable on YouTube. (Last summer, she also acted in an independent film shot by a friend in Miami, learning American Sign Language for the part.) In the summer of 2007, Cooper tasted some ravishing ravioli di zucca (pumpkin)—“I was in heaven”—and determined to learn Italian and cook in Italy.

Where does she find the time… to be totally self-indulgent, all the time! Like, ugh, maybe if you’re “constantly sick,” take it as a warning sign and call off your food column in the Crimson rather than bragging to an alumni magazine about how scattered and distracted your attentions constantly are? You’re already into Harvard. There’s nothing to prove, dear. And this continues for SIX PAGES. I think I’m the one with the fever — I am out of things to say, so I am but a shadow of the blogger I once knew. And I slept the normal, human amount last night!

This is the seventh installment of a series studying the persona of each Ivy League president—their bank accounts, their haircuts, and the extent to which they’re known and loved. Here’s Harvard President Drew Faust, who may or may not have made a deal with the devil in exchange for knowledge.

It feels wrong to do anything but to cut to the chase and just start talking about money, seeing as that’s really the story of anything Harvard these days. Drew Faust doesn’t seem to have wanted to be the main character in this particular story, but them’s the breaks. I submit for the record this charming little snippet of dialogue:

Charlie Rose: Is anything different about the job than you expected?

Drew Faust: Well losing, as you said, $11 billion dollars of the endowment was certainly a surprise.

Drew Faust Catherine Drew Gilpin Faust is an academic’s breed of university president who was picked in large part for that reason after he who shalt not be named said that thing about women and science that time which shalt not be repeated (so yeah, the fact that Faust is woman is relevant here, too). But now, the fact that she’s not All About the Benjamins is what’s really relevant. This is really just the right time to say: “mo money, mo problems.”

So this is the inconvenient truth:

[Note: Graph removed at the request of Harvard Magazine, who are probably mad we made fun of them. The image is of a plummeting-downward graph.]

Doesn’t it totally look like Al Gore’s graph in reverse, lol! Except this isn’t the world, this is Harvard. (Yes, Harvard students, there is in fact a very distinct difference.)

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There’s about a 10-percent chance that an Ivy Leaguer is headed to the NBA next year. Senior Jeremy Lin of Harvard, along with Seniors Jeff Foote and Ryan Wittman of Cornell have all accepted invitations to compete in an NBA pre-draft invitational tournament at which 200 NBA managers and scouts will be watching closely.

The tournament, which originated in 1953, will be taking place April 7-10 at Churchland High School in Portsmouth, Virginia. Suitably, it’s called the 2010 Portsmouth Invitational Tournament. For four days, the players will compete in a 12-game tournament while simultaneously crossing their fingers behind their backs, searching for four-leaf clovers and rubbing rabbits feet. In the past, the tournament has kick-started the professional careers of players like Dennis Rodman and Scottie Pippen. Last year six players from the tournament were selected in the draft; so basically Lin, Foote and Wittman will only have to be better than the 58 other amazing basketball superstars to get the job they’ve always been dreaming of. Well, good luck, boys!