This is Louis Leblanc. He's from Kirkland, Quebec. Last season, he played for the Omaha Lancers of the USHL. On Friday, he was selected by the Montreal Canadiens in the first round of the NHL Draft. That made thousands of Québécois very happy and subsequently irritating. But Leblanc isn't going to suit up for the Habs just yet because next year he'll be attending Harvard University and playing for the Crimson men's ice hockey team.

Congratulations Louis Leblanc. By being a French-Canadian hockey phenom and a Harvard student, you are officially the most loathsome hockey player ever.

Why would the New York Times bother to do a story on your slightly unhelpful yet quasi altruistic non-profit tech start-up? Because your name is Joshua Kushner, your brother Jared owns the New York Observer, and the word "scion" can be applied to you, that's why.

It seems aside from pimping themselves out to a shady Mexican billionaire and music mogul David Geffen the Times is buttering up the Kushners for a loan by writing a 1,300 word profile on little bro Joshua's new pet project UniThrive. Besides being all jazzed that they might get some sweet Kushner cash, there was a fail. The reporter didn't even check out the microfinance group Kiva.org and the Times was forced to run a correction yesterday. That's just odd given UniThrive co-founder Tanuj Parikh is the cousin of Kiva's president.

Details and why begging is the new working after the jump.

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Apparently it's still 1934. Harvard cannot stand to have a poor, black, female student from Brooklyn wearing a cap and gown, let alone on its campus. That's according to Chanequa Campbell, whose lawyer claims Harvard prevented her from walking after tying her to the alleged murder that occurred in Kirkland house last May. She pulled a Kanye West to our collective Mike Myers a fortnight ago when she told the New York Post, "Harvard is doing this to me because I'm black, I'm poor and I'm from Brooklyn."

Okay. Right, it could be that Harvard might be more hesitant to pillory a student of a wealthy donor. It too seems possible she believes that because she is black the university is presuming her guilty whereas they might give white students the benefit of doubt. It appears she is not enjoying as much solidarity from the Harvard black community as she might like, though.

But what does Brooklyn have to do with anything? Everyone knows Harvard dislikes Staten Island much, much more. And Brooklyn is hot right now. There are plenty of rich kids living on daddy's money in Williamsburg who attend or attended Harvard.

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In a Daily Beast blog post, students, parents, and admissions officers share their advice for prospective students and parents regarding college visits. (Tour guides are not typical students? ZOMG!) But included among the "no duh" suggestions and Cornell student bitching is a juicy piece of Ivy League gossip. This less than subtle quote from an anonymous alum is listed as an example as why prospective students should "ditch their folks" on the tour:

“[There was] the tour of a certain Ivy League campus wherein a certain B-rate comedian turned almost-senator (and alumnus of said institution) huffed, sighed, squatted, and wisecracked his way through said tour—to his son’s chagrin, and everyone else’s disgust.” — a 2007 Yale alumnus

It's clear from the amount of information provided that this nameless Eli can neither provide a proper blind item nor accept the fact that Norm Coleman lost the Minnesota Senate election. However, this tidbit does produce some questions. Al Franken is a Harvard alum. His son Joe--seen here being embarrassed by his father back in 1999--attended Princeton and, just like anonymous Eli, graduated in '07. [Gasp!] DID HAVARD REJECT JOE FRANKEN CUZ HIS DAD IS LAME!? How could they do such a thing? The 1990s were his decade!

Now that we're back for summertime fun, it seems like a good time to catch up on all the things we missed while seeing Star Trek 79 times. This is a first in a multi-part series making up for lost time. It will continue through the next few weeks or until Jared Kushner fires all of us, whichever comes first.

It's inevitable really. With the death of print imminent--and more importantly, a $3.2 million apartment that one can't not buy--the Harvard silver-spoon legacy and New York Observer publisher has been on a pink slip rampage. At the start of May, the Observer's cleaning lady got the boot. Then just over a week ago, a significant portion of the writing staff was axed. Amongst the casualties are former Gawker editor and Penn alum Doree Shafrir and Princeton eating club investigator and popular guy Spencer Morgan. But Jared Kushner's thirst for blood was not yet quenched. So last Thursday, he acquired the daily e-newsletter (and money vacuum) Very Short List and fired everyone there.

As for those who got the boot, you would think that Kushner with all his riches would be able to generously compensate his former employees. However, they're reportedly just getting the standard minimum of one week of severance pay per year of service. And that's because Jared Kushner has already pledged his massive wealth to those who are truly needy: Harvard students looking for loans.

The recent shooting on Harvard's campus stinks like a drug deal gone bad, and there are text messages to prove it. A recent article in the Crimson, who have actually been kind of awesome in covering the scoop, details how text messages recovered from victim Justin Cosby's phone threw up some High Times red (green?) flags. A Harvard student, likely the asshole who landed Justin at the scene of the crime confirmed the suspicions.

The May 5 message appears to be directed specifically to students. “Happy cinco de mayo too all my peoples &congrats on another skool year behind,” it begins. “got some crazy jak herrer bud n some caliMIST best of the best and still those 50s.”

Yes, you non-Brown students. "jak herrer bud" and "caliMIST" refer to strains of marijuana. The text from April 20 provides more hints:

“This text goes too all my peoples happy 420,” it reads. “Im gud allday today just hit me up asap stuffs gunna b goin fast.”

An IvyGate executive meeting hours before these findings speculated that the shooting was clearly a drug deal gone bad. Justin Cosby was not a Harvard student and had no apparent connections with the Harvard community. The Kirkland House basement—read "ask no questions land"—also makes for a perfect swap spot. And the shooting? No brainer.

It should be noted that Justin Cosby, a graduate of Cambridge Rindge and Latin High School, succumbed to his injuries after the shooting Monday. His death is not funny. In fact, it's fairly terrifying.

So how 'bout those budget cuts for security, Harvard? After the jump, Harvard's response to IvyGate's pinpointing the effing irony.

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Before the sound of the TV news 'copters faded after the shooting at Harvard today, another student got almost stabbed outside of the Crimson building. The victim of the shooting was not a Harvard student, it turns out, but the knifepoint mugging victim definitely was. Already a day full of violence and irony, the story broke not on the Crimson's website but on the Quincy Open list:

yeah I was there I missed it by about 3 minutes on my walk back up plympton. i asked a cop. it was a mugging at knife point. they think they got the guy (yes he is arrested leaning against the wall on the street sitting on the ground) but I believe they don't have his knife so they're searching up and down the streets for it. there were cops all over the place. I counted between 7 and 10 cops on foot alone, not counting the 2 police vans, and 4 or 5 police cruisers.

Now, we can really abuse the word "irony." Ok, kids who are scared of walking around in the dark even through the well-lit, well-trafficked Harvard Square. You're validated. Alright, Harvard. Maybe the MBTA Police Academy is not the best place to recruit men to protect the future leaders of the world.

If Harvard kids keep getting taken down at this rate, we'll have to educate our next president at Dartmouth, where the crime is more hilarious than horrifying. Because everyone knows New Haven is in a state of perpetual gang warfare.

After the jump, read the full Quincy Open thread and the Kirkland House letter sent out by the house masters just a few minutes after the shooting earlier.

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An unidentified "college-aged" male was shot at Harvard's Kirkland House, an undergraduate residential college, around 5PM today, reports the Harvard Crimson. The victim was conscious but bleeding at the time of the Crimson's report, and students were notified by email later that night.

This was students' second safety-related email of the day, because 5 minutes before the shooting, Dean Evelynn Hammonds sent an email announcing cuts to nighttime shuttle service (a security measure for soothing the nerves of students who don't like to walk around in the dark) as part of "cost-cutting measures."

Both emails after the jump.

UPDATE 1: According to Harvard's Emergency Communication page, normal activity at Eliot-Kirkland has resumed.

UPDATE 2: The identity and circumstances of the shooting are now known. Allegedly, the deceased was a drug dealer.

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Jared Kushner--the Harvard alum who bought the New York Observer as his graduation present and recently fired the cleaning lady to cut costs--and his brother Joshua have a new enterprise. It's called UniThrive and works kind of like Robin Hood. (Take from the rich. Give to the soon-to-be rich!)

Basically, a student loan networking website currently in beta. Students who register at the website request a loan of up to $2,000. Alumni then search for students, pick the ones they like, and pledge some money to loan in order to fulfill the students' requests. The best part is that all the loans are 0% interest. It's a great deal--as long as you go to Harvard, because the only school whose students can use this website is the Kushners' alma mater.

It's not as if the people behind UniThrive know much about the debt Harvard students face, having been accepted after Big Kush donated $2.5 million to the school. The website's pitch to Crimson alumni paints it as a social networking site as much as a donation site. And though the Kushners may not be hip to some internet trends (see the Twitter pages of Jared and Josh), this new website does resemble a financial aid-version of match.com. Jared is actually very familiar with dating sites, as he likely met his fiancee through JDate.

At least the Kushners with their billions of dollars are finally doing something to help those in need. And who could be more needy than students accepted to the most prestigious school in the country? Take that you freeloading third-world entrepreneurs! You're not good enough for Harvard money.

Watch out, Lena Chen: there's another sex blogger on the Internetz AND he's not currently in committed, monogamous relationship!

The gay blogger, who goes by "Boy Toy" is placed by some sources as a junior at Harvard. The Chicago locale is just a front to throw you off the scent. Actually, not that hard when 42% of Harvard students have had 0 sexual partners in the past year. (That number drops to 33.7% nationally.)  Although who knows, it could be an aging, diapered Floridian with an overactive imagination.

Boy Toy is keeping mum on the specifics of his identity, although he insinuates he's a Harvard affiliate. If we hear another creepy nudge-nudge statement, we might petition for an honorary associates degree from the Extension School:

Although I'm not going to pretend like these stories are not somewhat 'tickled and fluffed' into a more coherent narrative, every guy has a very real-life equivalent... Perhaps you recognize some of them?

This 2(x)ist wearing commitment-phobe loves to have international sexcapades in in highly narrative detail. One Army hookup's lips "taste like syrup." Aunt Jemima, we hardly knew ye.

After the jump, Harvard Boy Toy takes you to second base... and... that's about it.

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