Let’s be honest here: Valentine’s Day–and true love–is really about objectification, and no one understands that quite like Harvard. The Crimson just released its annual 15 Hottest Freshmen round-up, and this year’s selection is bound to impress. So many Splendid shirts. Such wind-blown hair. It’s good to see that Harvard is equal-opportunity in its objectification: the group is almost painfully diverse, to the point that you can almost hear each race being checked off a list somewhere as you scroll through the portraits. While Yale’s Rumpus releases a similar “50 Most Beautiful” feature each year, New Haven’s idea of beauty seems to include a lot of warm and fuzzy criteria like volunteering and having wholesome extra-curriculars or alternative passions. Harvard only cares about how attractive your face is, and we respect that single-minded honesty.
Our heavy-duty mathematical analysis finds that the hottest point of origin is New York State, with over a third of the freshmen hailing from Manhattan, Rye, Larchmont, or some other Westchester city. Internationals make a healthy appearance: 3 out of the 15 are from outside the U.S., doubtless with charming accents to prove it. Canaday and Weld are tied for buildings hosting the most heat, with 3 each. We’d also like to take this moment to point out that Harvard has a dorm called Wigglesworth. Oh, Harvard.
In the spirit of appreciation, we’ve awarded some superlatives of our own below. Congratulations, you lucky freshmen! Go out on the town (the square?) and experience the prime of your beautiful youth.