The current issue of the New Republic features former Yale professor William Deresiewicz going on for 4000 words deriding the Ivy League and other “elite” schools. This is not unusual: Deresiewicz has done this before and probably will do so again (there’s freedom in not getting tenure, it seems). But with a solid clickbait headline, the article made the rounds on social media and we decided to address some of the fallacies and paradoxes presented in his TNR arguments. Join us.
This week at #AspenIdeas, former Harvard hall co-master (and current Yale Child Study Center lecturer) Erika Christakis talked about how Harvard students aren’t dating. A bunch of non-college students on the panel then set about debating why college students aren’t conforming to their standards and telling us how, once again, us dumb millennials are doing something wrong.
Tired of letting old people speak for us, IvyGate came up with a list of the real reasons Harvard students aren’t dating in the “traditional” sense:
- There’s no grade inflation in first impressions.
- Chances of ending up in someone’s tell-all memoirs a few years down the road are too high.
- You assholes keep telling us millennials aren’t serious enough so we’re focusing on serious things like class and shit instead of dates.
- Still waiting on line at a final club.
- That emo phase in middle school really drained us.
- Storing up on care-free sex while the school still pays for birth control.
- Only understand “romantic” in literary terms.
- The Cambridge Panera is always too crowded for dates.
- Can’t figure out if “having it all” means having a husband or having lots of casual sex.
- Rebelling against helicopter moms.
- The Winklevoss twins do not look like Armie Hammer in real life.
But the real reason Harvard kids aren’t going on dates? They’re too used to thinking once you get in you don’t have to expend any more effort.
This week, New York Magazine did a feature on the delicious DC summer interns, one of our favorite subsets of students. Of the 10 interns profiled, half of them (from our sleuthing) are Ivy Leaguers, hailing exclusively from Yale and Harvard — though this post in the very earnest “Yale in Washington Summer 2014” group may have had something to do with that slant:
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According to the New York Times, ousted executive editor Jill Abramson will be returning to her alma mater (and tattoo inspiration), teaching narrative nonfiction this fall at Harvard. Nonfiction writing majors across the Ivy League collectively shrieked in jealousy. We’ve reached out to admins at Harvard and will update if we get more information.
If you make it into her class next semester, put your narrative nonfiction skills to good use and tell us all about it–and let us know if she follows that great Harvard tradition: grade inflation. Hit us up firstname.lastname@example.org
Update 1:50PM Harvard made the announcement as well, confirming Abramson will be teaching undergraduates in the fall and spring. Undergrad Program Administrator Lauren Bimmler told IvyGate that the classes “are open by application to undergraduates and graduate students” and, of course, “[w]e’re very excited to have her!”
As Harvard’s Class of 2014 steps out to make their way in the world, they leave behind some priceless facts culled from the annual senior survey. In the spirit of celebration and congratulations, The Crimson faithfully reported on the senior class’ politics, porn habits, and virginity status. The email survey sent out among the graduates received over 700 responses, providing an idiosyncratic and color coded picture of the Harvard lifestyle — “extracurriculars” and all. Some of our favorite highlights below:
- We’ll start with a real shocker: of the seniors immediately entering employment post-graduation (70% of the class), 31% will work for finance and consulting companies.
- In another unexpected twist, nearly all employment fields showed an unequal starting salary among men and women: women going into technology or engineering report a salary of $50,000 and $69,999, while the men entering the same fields report between $90,000 and $109,999.
Sextracurriculars and more after the jump
What’s he hiding under all those layers?
According to a new interview in Out Magazine, Harvard alum and New York Times executive editor Jill Abramson has 4 tattoos, including a “T” that stands for the prestigious Times newspaper and an “H” for Harvard — the “two institutions that I revere, that have shaped me.”
Quite why Abramson chose to reveal this is a mystery, but it does confirm that Times editors were at least once young and wild. Plus, Abramson shows some class, opting for the simple “H” over a full back portrait of the Harvard skyline.
“And now I feel like shooting myself for spending, like 10 minutes, talking about such a trivial thing.”
We reached out to current Crimson president Samuel Weinstock to ask about his upcoming alma-matter-associated tattoo plans. Perhaps unsurprisingly he declined to comment, saying that he “[didn't] really have anything to add.” Tattoos and Crimson presidents don’t seem like they mix at any rate. Ah, to be young and wild.
[Image via Wikimedia]
Ah, springtime at an Ivy: students descend on the quad, thesis writers emerge from their caves, and — best of all — high school seniors attack campus with naïveté, un-jaded excitement, and a myriad of questions all boiling down to:
Can my host get me alcohol? Is this the school for me?
Columbia’s first Days on Campus program — prospective student visiting weekend — for the Class of 2018 began today. Prospies were treated with a beautiful spring day and blue and white balloons blanketing College Walk. But they’re also getting another dose of classic Columbia: protests.
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Let’s be honest here: Valentine’s Day–and true love–is really about objectification, and no one understands that quite like Harvard. The Crimson just released its annual 15 Hottest Freshmen round-up, and this year’s selection is bound to impress. So many Splendid shirts. Such wind-blown hair. It’s good to see that Harvard is equal-opportunity in its objectification: the group is almost painfully diverse, to the point that you can almost hear each race being checked off a list somewhere as you scroll through the portraits. While Yale’s Rumpus releases a similar “50 Most Beautiful” feature each year, New Haven’s idea of beauty seems to include a lot of warm and fuzzy criteria like volunteering and having wholesome extra-curriculars or alternative passions. Harvard only cares about how attractive your face is, and we respect that single-minded honesty.
Our heavy-duty mathematical analysis finds that the hottest point of origin is New York State, with over a third of the freshmen hailing from Manhattan, Rye, Larchmont, or some other Westchester city. Internationals make a healthy appearance: 3 out of the 15 are from outside the U.S., doubtless with charming accents to prove it. Canaday and Weld are tied for buildings hosting the most heat, with 3 each. We’d also like to take this moment to point out that Harvard has a dorm called Wigglesworth. Oh, Harvard.
In the spirit of appreciation, we’ve awarded some superlatives of our own below. Congratulations, you lucky freshmen! Go out on the town (the square?) and experience the prime of your beautiful youth.
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As The Crimson reports, an undergraduate student was killed in a traffic accident in New Jersey this morning. The Crimson could not confirm the student’s name at the time, as administrators are still contacting parents. However the Crimson does say that the student was “returning from a competition in Virginia” and that other students were injured and treated at a local hospital—indicating that the crash likely involved a sports team vehicle (though, of course, this is speculation).
According to Go Crimson, the women’s Swimming and Diving team were successfully competing at the Virginia Tech Invitational in Virginia this weekend, in their final competition before Ivies.
UPDATE, 12:30 AM
An email from Interim Dean Pfister confirmed that Angela Mathew, H’15, died in the crash. She and six other students were returning from a mock trial competition. The Crimson reports that three students were injured and taken to a hospital in Trenton. They were driving in a minivan, hit a guardrail, and were struck by a tractor trailer.
“Our hearts are broken,” Pfister wrote. “This is a very sudden and unexpected loss.”
The visage of a disgraced journalist.
This Monday, the California Supreme Court denied Stephen Glass the right to practice law, backing the state bar’s earlier decision. For you too young to know, Glass was a journalist who wrote rollicking stories for The New Republic in the ’90s…that later turned out to be entirely fabricated.
Martin Peretz, formerly an assistant professor at Harvard, was the owner and manager of The New Republic at the time and had Glass fired. Apparently, over the past decade and a half, Peretz has gotten over the betrayal. Peretz even testified on Glass’ behalf at the trial, blaming himself for pressuring Glass to write crazy stories and for not catching lies.
Moreover, Peretz expressed, Glass should be given the opportunity to practice law because, come on, “[t]he most brilliant students plagiarize.” Peretz gained this knowledge from “his experience as a professor,” presumably at Harvard.
And who were these rotten, plagiarizing students he learned this from? Well, “Al Gore, Yo-Yo Ma, James Cramer, and dozens of powerful lawyers and Wall Street types,” to start with.
Harvard students? Not performing at Ivy League standards? Inconceivable.
[via Tim Barker]