Oh how easily we do forget.

When Brown freshman and native Canadian Harrison Zolnierczyk was charged earlier this year on accounts of “child pornography,� the commentators on Ivy Gate went wild.  There were cries for justice, for retribution, for glimpses of the footage he put on photobucket of his girlfriend getting down and dirty on his friend/hockey teammate Bradley Harding.

You ivy league plebs demanded that the law (albeit Canadian) be put into effect, saying that he deserved to go to jail for secretly directing underage porn without his girlfriend's consent, and that he deservedly would never get this off of his record.  In particular, one commentator who goes by the name Irony wrote, “What a foolish mistake he made and now that will cost him for the rest of his life.�

Well, ironically, as the Brown Daily Herald recently reported, Zolnierczyk’s record will be as clean as a whistle by the time he graduates.  In April, Harry pleaded guilty to “two counts of electronic voyeurism,� and in June was sentenced to three years’ probation with conditional discharge.

This means that if he can keep his hands on his hockey stick and off of his video camera for the next few years, there will be no legal record of this crime.  All he needs to do is change his name (let's be honest, there are too many consonants in that thing anyway) and no one will ever know.  Zolnierczyk will be back in school this coming fall, and he may even be playing hockey.  Better yet, Brown’s Vice President for Public Affairs and University Relations Michael Chapman made this statement to The Herald:

"The conditional discharge means the court found no charges to pursue. We expect him to return this fall, and his conduct at Brown has raised no concerns."

Gotta love Brown: you can pass/fail all your classes, read whatever the hell you want, and maybe even create an academic major in something like “electronic voyeurism.�  Hey, it’s no concern!

--JULI MIN

Harrison Zolnierczyk, a Brown freshman from Canada and member of the Bears' glorious hockey team, is having some legal troubles back in the old country. While most students were busy watching Hillary Clinton jazz it up at a Providence rally Sunday, Zolnierczyk was "facing charges of voyeurism and production, possession and distribution of child pornography" from something called the "Port Alberni Provincial Court in British Columbia," also in Canada. Will Harrison Zolnierczyk survive this terrible smear campaign against his hockey career? Or is he really a voyeur who produced, possessed and distributed tapes of horrible child sex? Well, the Mounties are on the case now, so it's only a matter of seconds before the they figure out this would-be perp's deal.

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