Another day, another set of painfully unimportant, arbitrary rankings blowing up your News Feeds. Executive summary for those of you who don’t want to waste any more time on this nonsense: Cornell (No. 1) and Yale (No. 3) made GQ’s Douchiest College list; Princeton (No. 1), Harvard (No. 4), and Dartmouth (No. 6) made Payscale’s list of highest mid-career salaries for graduates. If you care about these things, read on. If not: thanks for being part of the solution, instead of the problem.

Yesterday was the list of “Douchiest Colleges in America,” straight from the douche publication of record itself, GQ. Cornell University took the top spot on this list for being home of the “chip on the shoulder douche,” and lots of almost-funny bitterness-related reasons. I really want to know who put together the pièce de résistance on this one, a section titled “If You Could Read the Thought Bubble Over Campus.” Was it a pissed off alumnus? A gloating affiliate of another Ivy? Or just a tragically unfunny GQ writer from another football conference? Read after the jump: Read the rest of this entry »

Brown is the douchiest school in the country, according to GQ. Princeton is number three. Harvard is number four. Does this seem wrong? Keep reading, Deep Springs grads. It gets worse.

Just before the station wagon left the IvyGate garage, GQ published a “heavily researched, possibly stereotyped, but still accurate guide” to the nation’s 25 Douchiest Colleges. In their own words, the GQ editors observe the inherent paradox of the douche:

The question isn’t whether you’re a douche bag when you go to college. We were all kind of douche bags when we went to college, if we’re going to be honest about it. No, the question for America’s youth is: What kind of douche bag do you aspire to be?

Gottseidank Yalies, Dartmutts, and Columbians, you’re off the hook. Harvardians, Princetonians, and Brunonians are not so lucky. Cornell, Penn: honorable mentions don’t always need mentioning.

After the jump, what’s wrong with the list, and what you can do about it.

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