When Harvard's Pforzheimer House announced it was throwing an official Aleksey Vayner-themed party last week, we assumed it would be a 495-lb. blast. People could come in karate robes, or Under Armour and dance pants; gently serve tennis balls at 140 miles an hour; there could even be a little table in the back for plagiarizing books about the Holocaust. Picture it: 2 a.m., hundreds of "Impossible is Nothing" acolytes swilling Aleksey Ale and Vayner Vodka Tonics, ballroom dancing to the beat of "Solamente Tu Amor" and "The Way of the Sword" -- what could go wrong?

Alas, as the above photo shows, the event was rather under-attended. In fairness, it was up against Winthrop House's "Country Clubbin': A Harvard-Yale 'Tea Partay'." More depressing pics after the jump; either this means Alekseygate has officially gotten old (should we cancel our Christmas benefit gala for Youth Empowerment Strategies?), or it's just the usual case of Harvard kids unable to have fun when it's handed to them on a platter.

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Only 24 hours after Facebook launched its "news feed" and "mini-feed" features, students have already organized a mass protest against the site's Orwellian reincarnation. How'd they do it? Uhh, through Facebook, obvi.

It's amazing. There's "People who hate the facebook facelift" (16,794 members), "Students against Facebook News Feed (Official Petition to Facebook)" (89,284 members), and "Facebook looks shit now" (1,679 members). You can also sign the online petition here, or suck it up and sever your social spinal cord on Facebook Boycott Day. Of course, no one would have ever HEARD of these brave efforts were it not for the new features that make us all stalkers -- and stalkees -- whether we like it or not. (Overeager friendsters are paying the price: Now the whole campus knows when you quietly remove Footloose from your list of favorite movies.)

Congratulations, Facebook. You've given us the greatest organizational tool since the truncated yak horn. Too bad its first use had to be protesting you.