Harvard Grad Student Accuses Rogue Journalist James O’Keefe of False Imprisonment, Witness Tampering

Gawker’s Maureen O’Connor attempts to dissect these brutal blog posts written by Harvard grad student Nadia Naffe about Andrew Breitbart’s protege, James O’Keefe. Naffe accuses O’Keefe of trying to set her up to be raped in a barn (we think??), secretly filming a sexual encounter with someone, and so, so many other things.

We have no idea what’s going on! Whatever it is, it is epic:

Harvard grad student Nadia Naffe recently filed a criminal harassment complaint against James. Citing insufficient evidence, a judge dismissed the case. Now Nadia is on a scorched earth cyber rampage. “If he wants a fight, bring it on. This is #WAR,” she tweeted last night, after retweeting outraged utterances from an unofficial Rubio4President account about James’ “rape barn.” On her personal blog, she is currently on part two of a sprawling anti-O’Keefe opus.

Well, at least ACORN’s gone, right?

Do you know Naffe? Email us! We’re curious why a Harvardian is working anywhere else besides The New Yorker or The New York Times.

RagTime: IvyGate Takes Over the World Edition

  • Gawker: Unorthodox line item, yes. But, you know that married congressman who trolled for sex on Facebook Craigslist, then resigned? You can thank IvyGate editor emerita Maureen O’Connor for the water-cooler fodder.
  • Brown: Undergraduate Council approves formation of Jockapella student group. Why?
  • Cornell: “Whether you’re on a first-name basis with your waxer, or your precious goods have never encountered a razor, there’s a hair-do for everyone.” By: The Preacher’s Daughter……
  • Columbia: Provost Boyland to step down.
  • Yale: University accidentally leaks classified security information.
  • Penn: Stop the presses — a basketball player has a cold. Woe! Dismay!
  • Dartmouth: Wait, I don’t understand … you don’t want to work on Wall Street? Explain yourself, peasant!
  • Harvard: How many exclamation marks are apropos for a sewage back-up? Fifteen, apparently.
  • Princeton: What is Vagina Monologues about? “It’s about vaginas.”

And You Thought We Were Gullible

Sometimes bloggers can get a little too eager for their own good. It’s almost too easy: you nab a seemingly grade-A scoop, you rehash the details with a few world-weary ellipses, you post the whole thing alongside a picture on which you’ve drawn a few crude arrows and the words “F U Hipsters”–and then you find out that the whole thing was made up, and those damn hipsters have won again. (F U HIPSTERS.)

Yeah. Not like that’s ever happened to us or anything. But it happened to Gawker today! The blog picked up what it thought was a legit story from Columbia’s Morningside Post, about a professor who refused to accept a late student’s homework despite the fact that she’d been mugged on the way to class. The muggers, according to the story, were far more merciful than the douchebag professor:

“They started to run away with my bag but I screamed and begged them to let me have my Statistics homework,” Ms. Watkins reported. “I told them they could have my wallet, my iPhone, anything- just not the homework.”

In a moment of charity, one of the muggers apparently reached into Ms. Watkins’ purse and retrieved her homework assignment, laying it neatly on the sidewalk next to where the incident occurred.

“Even though my ankle hurt really badly and I couldn’t really walk very well, I knew that Professor Thurman would have been really angry if I tried to turn the homework in late. So I hobbled to the SIPA building as fast as I could. I thought because I was only two minutes late he’d be lenient. I thought wrong.”

Gawker, to its credit, was reasonably skeptical. Kind of.

The asshole professor part is much easier to believe than the polite muggers part. Regardless of the truth of the matter, the lesson is clear: if she’d stayed within the fortress-like confines of her private security-patrolled Ivy League campus rather than setting foot on a public thoroughfare infested with race-card-playing ruffians, this never would have happened. Lesson learned.

Of course, the real “lesson learned” here is not to believe everything you read on the Morningside Post. Those hooligans will post anything. (They’ve since clarified on their website that the post was satirical, in light of “questions from concerned readers.”)

In other news, what’s up with this Professor Thurman guy (who’s real, by the way)? We know he didn’t actually refuse to accept a mugging victim’s late homework, but the fact that he might have means we’d still like to scope him out. And maybe borrow his Identity of Terror for a couple hours. Because at the end of the day, Gawker-in-error still retains a shred of reason: Columbia students really shouldn’t ever leave the house.

Harvard Comedy Troupe Jokes About Murdered Yale Grad Student, Hides Evidence

Yesterday we wrote about On Harvard Time’s parody of the universally ridiculed lump of admissions-video pap, “That’s Why I Chose Yale.” Well, the clip has certainly gained its fair share of attention, although the vast majority of it negative. Turns out the jokesters ruffled some feathers when they riffed about murdered Yale graduate student Annie Le.

A number of national media outlets, including Gawker and the Huffington Post, picked up the story, slamming On Harvard Time for the joke. The group has responded to criticisms by claiming that they were making a social commentary on blah blah blah.

Per the Yale Daily News:

Our intention was to comment on Yale’s guarded treatment of their crime problems.The humor rested in the glossing over of a significant event, and not in the event itself. The line was not meant to make light of the incident or those involved, but rather to mock the University.

The original video has been made private, and a newly posted replica contains one very notable change — the Annie Le joke has been dubbed-over with a vague reference to the controversy .

See for yourself (54 seconds in):

Don’t worry, though, OHT — we still remember your incredibly ill-conceived choice of joke fodder!

UPDATE: On Harvard Time’s full press statement on the subject is available after the jump.

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UPDATE: ADPhi Hazing Irony Tastier Than Hypocrisy and Dog-Food

Our Cornell frat hazing story has gotten the Internet all in a tizzy; it’s currently lighting up the front page at Huffington Post and enflaming the feisty Gawker-crowd (also, these nerds). Just to add to the fun/fuel the fire, look what we just stumbled on, right on the front-page of the Cornell ADPhi chapter website:

OFFICIAL ANNOUNCEMENTS:

Zero Tolerance for Hazing at Alpha Delta Phi

Several Cornell websites help visitors to learn about allegations of hazing at Cornell, report alleged hazing incidents, explore non-hazing group-building activities, and find out what they can do to prevent hazing. Take a look at: Hazing at Cornell and services for victims of hazing.

The best part? The links lead nowhere.

Yes; frats haze, no big deal. We think only an idiot would subject oneself to it, but to each his own.

But lying and hypocrisy? Didn’t know that was a brotherhood kind of thing… Ritual abuse, however “voluntary,” seems a little bit like Monica Lewinsky; you only get in trouble when you start fibbing about it.

UPDATE: “White People… PRETTY White People” – Yale’s 50 Most Beautiful List is, well, Racist

There was something about Rumpus’ recently released 50 Most Beautiful list that seemed a little off. No, not the typos, falsifications, or numbers accidentally written in Arabic (seriously). We couldn’t quite put our finger on it. Something about the gradient: white after white after white. Maybe their printers ran out of black ink? If only…

Apparently, in the gossip rag’s esteemed opinion, a disproportionate number of Yale’s pretty people are, well, of the Caucasian variety. We’ll let the ’50 most’ numbers speak for themselves.

For comparison’s sake, here are the racial demographics of Yale as a whole, courtesy of Questbridge:

  • Caucasian: 68%
  • African American: 9%
  • Asian American: 14%
  • Hispanic: 8%
  • Native American: 1%
  • (FYI, 20 out of the 29 Rumpus-ites who worked on the issue are white… yup, about 68%)

    So, using the power of math, our crack quants at IvyGate HQ have calculated that Rumpus’ 50 Most Beautiful List is 21.6% whiter than Yale in general. Ouch.

    So much for the post-racial America, Barry.

    BREAKING: Rumpus Releases Yale’s 50 Most Beautiful (Sneak Pic and Full List)

    Yale’s cruelest and least copy-edited “publication,” Rumpus, just dropped its trademark issue: the much-heralded and uber-nepotistic Yale’s 50 Most Beautiful. And inexplicably, there are 52 people on it. (Oh, and the cover mistakenly advertises 49, see below.) The rarely published and never fact-checked gossip rag also alludes to the exploits of a certain promiscuous “Cock Goblin,” public masturbation in Zeta, and more “truths they couldn’t prove.” Hot off the presses!

    But don’t kid yourselves, you tasteless pamphleteers; we’re here for 50 Most. Best ways to get in? Know/hookup with Rumpus staff, make a public fool of oneself, (check, check) be a twin… or be beautiful, too, we guess. IvyGate’s got the list, and the balls to fact-check (stay-tuned).

    Stats: The hottest Residential College is Davenport (mine, baby), with nine beautiful people, and the worst represented, Ezra Stiles, with a measly two. There are 11 freshmen, 12 sophomores, 18 juniors, and 11 seniors.

    The actual hotness of these snarkily profiled folks is soon TBD. For now, feast your eyes on Movement for Beauty and Justice founder and professional airhead Justine Kolata, who made the issue alongside an exploited and confused horse above. After the jump: the full 50 Most list.

    (Photo courtesy of Miranda Lewis, list graciously compiled by Joe Satran)

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    Gawker Takes on “Hahvahd”-Educated Alabama Shooter

    As at least one commenter and several tipsters noted over the weekend, we have thus far held back on the tragic massacre at the University of Alabama, and the subsequent detention of the Harvard-educated prime suspect, Dr. Amy Bishop.

    We hadn’t fallen asleep at the wheel — we were, of course, aware that this had happened. But for this editor, at least, there was no good way to write about the subject in light of Gawker’s coverage, such as it was, of Dr. Bishop.

    Read the rest of this entry »

    Yale Turns Down Thermostats; Gawker Rubs Salt in Endowment Wounds

    $150 million in the red, we could deal with the campy, produced-on-the-cheap admissions video.

    Layoffs, salary-cuts and a grad-student exodus? Fine, as long as we get to keep our grade inflation.

    We could even maturely handle the upcoming cancellation of our New York Times subscription (well, some of us).

    But turning down the thermostats and subsequent Gawker-mockery? Let’s just declare Chapter 11, snag some taxpayer bailout money, and get it over with.

    In the wake of endowment horror, Yale President Levin plans to “turn all the thermostats down to 68 degrees.” How uncivilized. Gawker predicts that we will “freeze over,” and (genuinely concerned, obviously) asks

    Will the roaring fires built by the manservants in the many imposing hearths of the various student groups’ towering stone mansions provide sufficient warmth for our future leaders?

    No, our fellow sassy bloggers. No it won’t. But at least we won’t be as chilly as Emily “I put my head on his shoulder in a completely friendly, professional way” Gould’s cold, cold heart.

    We Douthat [Doubt That, Get It?] Conservative Columnist Had Fun at Harvard

    Gawker points us to a 2001 Crimson profile of America’s next top conservative pundit, and erstwhile Harvard student, Ross Douthat. In the dwindling of Kristol’s limelight and Glenn Beck moving to some off-the-grid commune with his followers (a boy can dream!), Douthat is one of the more influential conservative pundits, if only for the rare penumbra of sanity — if, you know, prickishness — that comes from his columns. “Move Over Limbaugh,” says the Crimson, but Douthat’s really more like the kid in your Econ lecture who won’t shut up about Ayn Rand. Still annoying, but more human. Sort of. Also, he’s just striking a pose of conservatism so he can be different, which is also like current college students we know!

    Douthat has always stood apart from the crowd. As the sole Republican in a “staunch, hardline-Democrat family”, [sic] he formed his conservative worldview from an early age as “a way of rebelling against my parents”. [...] “I am most proud of the fact that I have made—and kept—friends, in spite of the fact that my public persona is to disagree with everyone here.”

    At least he knows that writing is all about persona, and not at all about knowing the adjective “Democratic.” Why the Crimson ran a profile of one of their own columnists, we aren’t sure, but thankfully they were wise enough to plant the seeds of doubt in our mind as to whether or not Douthat’s position on “homosexuality” (which he apparently… opposes? Like, in general?) is informed by hard-won experience:

    Indeed, his room is adorned with posters of Audrey Hepburn and Marilyn Monroe – stars from Hollywood’s glamour heyday – as well as a towering tribute to Gladiator. “I think that Russell Crowe’s evocation of manhood is something all men should aspire to”

    Mm-hm. It’s not just glamorous screen divas our Ross loves, though — it’s also power!

    “Coming to Harvard, I now have a new sense of the power and success that is at our fingertips – I know I will be one of the 25 richest writers of the future”, [sic] he says.

    Well, it’s not the future yet — we’ll know when conservative columnists write their columns from green moon cheese, but Ross, you’re well on your way! Congratulations on leveraging a Harvard degree into, um, what it is you do now.