The kids who maintain the popular Timothy Dwight College blog at Yale recently starred in a music video about the last day of school. Title: THE MOST EPIC VIDEO OF ALL TIME. Honestly, swashbuckling confidence is usually a turn on, but then they elaborated:

The filming of this video was intense. Devin alone consumed 4 entire Dr. Pepper’s along the way. No animals were hurt in the making of this video. Except for one, and he had it coming. This was so much fun to make: the more we shot, the better we got.

Do you know who else drank a lot of Dr. Pepper? (Hint: Yale is like a box of chocolates.)

Hints on the experience:

There are many ways to watch this video. Watch for Devin, listen to the lyrics, and count how many times we shamelessly mock the idiosyncrasies of Sweeney and Spencer. If you want the song version to this, we have a high quality mp3. This is half of the I-26 sextet next year–watch out, it’s going to be an awesome room.

Sounds like an awesome time, TD blog. After I finish downloading the “high quality mp3″ of your jam, I’m gonna go down to celebrate the end of the school year like a Matherite: whisky, lather, dance, repeat.

Did I mention they’re freshmen?

After Harvard Dental School closed last week when students started showing symptoms, reports came in yesterday that the number of Harvard-inspired cases has risen to eight. As the future career-related suicide risks enjoy no class while waiting for final word from the CDC, we’re making the final call that the Dental School is officially the diseased red-headed step child of Harvard, trumping last year’s scabies scare at the College.

Speaking of those Crimson Crazies, the Harvard Lampoon celebrated the hundred-year anniversay of the contruction of their funny little castle. The Lampoon semi-secret Sorrento Square Social organization that used to occassinally publish a so-called humor magazine—Yeah, I used to write for the Crimson, what about it?—exploded things and pissed of their neighbors per tradition. Nobody really knows what goes on inside the castle, but it definitely involved a confetti canon and a shitload of pyrotechnics.

Something strange is going on at Harvard, though. Amidst the apocalytpic ‘Poon thang, a section of balcony from an adjacent building fell from the heavens to injure two repentent smokers (probably) hanging out below. On top of the female orgasm seminar and events we can’t joke about, there might be a 28 Weeks Later sequel in the making in Cambridge.

The mild self-indulgence above could be read as a eulogy. To myself. If I get swine flu from the dentists. After the jump, a zombie movie about Marcel Proust made by Harvard kids, just because.

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Attention Elis: You may have already won the Swine Flu Clearinghouse! According to the Yale University Health Services, at least four patients are currently being treated for influenza A and awaiting test results from the Connecticut Department of Health, AKA Swine Flu Central.

While other schools seem to be sticking to the Cover Your Cough handbook, Yale looks like they might actually be taking this shit seriously. Because kids are dying. In Mexico. Accordingly, the Yale administration has put a stop on all funding to go to Mexico based on a campus-wide email that made it into our tip box. (Don’t worry, students are going to go anyways. Chiapas is crazy this time of year.)

In an unexpectedly extreme move, Dartmouth is actually pulling kids out of Mexico. It looks like the 11 study abroaders at the Dartmouth Language School Abroad program in Cholula might not learn the subjunctive case after all. Hopefully they got in on the hot sauce manufactured there. You know, the one with the wooden top. IvyGate favorite, that is.

After the jump, a school-by-school report of the biggest health scare in the United States that doesn’t really seem all that scary. But it’s always fun seeing surgical masks in the street.

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Harvard’s multi-bajillion dollar expansion into Allston, already only crawling forward, now faces a new obstacle: rats. According to an article in today’s Boston Herald, the deep digging required for Harvard’s TNMT-style underground lairs has stirred a colony of mutant rodents that EATS THROUGH HOMES! (That’s working-class homes, btw.)

Rats “big enough to put saddles on” are running amok in Allston and Brighton, leaping from trash bins, chewing their way into homes and terrifying residents who blame Harvard’s own “Big Dig” for unleashing the vermin.

“They pop out of the trash. A couple of weeks ago one ran right across my hand. It’s nasty,” said Gerry Gentilucci, 43, an MBTA equipment operator who lives on Myrick Street in North Allston.

Harvard is clearly denying having unleashed a herd of house-munchers. There’s no way a 530,000 square-foot area dug 40 feet deep might upset some underground life form. After all, they set up “rat monitoring stations.” Because monitoring something (like say a volcano) actually prevents it from doing something unpleasant. Sarcasm aside, this sounds less like a complaint from Harvard’s neighbors across the river and more like an impending battle of the species.

A minute ago, the Cantabridgians thought that giant spray-painted banners on abandoned buildings in Allston were threatening. Wait ’til those yellow-toothed rat-steeds come rumbling across Anderson bridge looking for the Faustian figure who signed the deal and p0ured the green sludge on Splinter’s family.