Brown is the douchiest school in the country, according to GQ. Princeton is number three. Harvard is number four. Does this seem wrong? Keep reading, Deep Springs grads. It gets worse.

Just before the station wagon left the IvyGate garage, GQ published a "heavily researched, possibly stereotyped, but still accurate guide" to the nation's 25 Douchiest Colleges. In their own words, the GQ editors observe the inherent paradox of the douche:

The question isn't whether you're a douche bag when you go to college. We were all kind of douche bags when we went to college, if we're going to be honest about it. No, the question for America's youth is: What kind of douche bag do you aspire to be?

Gottseidank Yalies, Dartmutts, and Columbians, you're off the hook. Harvardians, Princetonians, and Brunonians are not so lucky. Cornell, Penn: honorable mentions don't always need mentioning.

After the jump, what's wrong with the list, and what you can do about it.

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"The true story of two best friends- geeky outsiders at a prestigious Ivy League University- who wanted nothing more than to get into one of the elite fraternities on campus, so they'd have an easier time getting laid."

Thus poetically begins Ben Mezrich's proposal about creating Facebook with Mark "I Just Want to Help" Zuckerberg as "dorky," fencing-loving, Adidas shower shoes-wearing Harvard undergrads.

Gawker warns,

The book may not be the most rigorously factual account, as Mezrich's Bringing Down The House... was debunked by the Boston Globe as "not a work of 'nonfiction' in any meaningful sense of the word."

Rolling Stone's recent profile of Zuckerberg is a bit more specific about his motivations. Facebook began as so many other brilliant ideas do, with drinking alone on a Tuesday night (ah, college). Recently dumped and feeling bitter, Zuckerberg wrote on his blog, "Jessica A— is a bitch." (Does anyone know who Jessica A. is?) That night, he created Face Mash, a site for students to compare their classmates' pictures with those of farm animals and rank them in terms of attractiveness. Charming! Read the rest of this entry »

Happy Turkey, everybody!