A New Year’s Roundup of News

Phi Delta Theta’s unfortunate choice of Christmas card

Happy 2015, guys. Now that we’re collectively, if slowly, waking up from our post-holiday daze, it’s time to start getting back in touch with the crazy shit your peers got up to while you were sleeping. Ranging from deadly serious crimes to seriously unfunny jokes, here’s a taste of winter in the Ivy League. In order of descending gravity:

  • A Princeton graduate has been indicted for his father’s murder. Thomas Gilbert, P’09, allegedly killed his father, who was the founder of a hedge fund, by staging a suicide while his mother was out of the apartment (he got her to leave by asking her to buy him a sandwich). Gothamist claims that Gilbert Jr. – a 30 year old man – was provoked by a cut in his allowance from $600 to $400 a month.
  • The complaint filed by 23 Columbia and Barnard students back in April has finally been answered: Columbia University is officially under investigation for violations of Title IX and Title II. The lesser-known federal Title II deals with cases of discrimination based on ability, while 2014′s buzzword Title IX addresses equal treatment in regards to gender. Barnard College is under a separate Title IX investigation.
  • If you thought Dartmouth has been suspiciously quiet of embarrassing scandals lately, think again. 64 Dartmouth students have been charged with cheating in – get this – an Ethics class. Most of them will be suspended for a semester. More specifically, the class was a “sports ethics course targeted at student athletes struggling with academics.” We are sunbathing in the irony.
  • UPenn frat Phi Delta Theta decided to send out a digital Christmas card to spread holiday cheer this season. They also spread racism, since their card included a couple dozen white men plus a black female blow-up sex doll. The frat publicly apologized for the “act of poor judgement,” and insisted that the blow-up doll was supposed to be Beyonce, which of course no longer makes it the sexual objectification of a black woman anymore, since it’s Beyonce. Meanwhile, BroBible just didn’t get why everyone’s panties were in such a twist over the situation. Phi Delta Theta has since then been suspended.
  • To lighten things up, here are some photos from the 2015 “Men of the Vet School” Cornell calendar. “Great-looking men and adorable animals” apparently make for a “unique and special dynamic” in this photo series of shirtless guys parading around with puppies and tractors. Yep. Special.
  • And finally, a beleaguered young Princeton freshman is bravely calling out the microaggressions perpetrated against those who pronounce their “wh”s as “hw”s. For those who don’t know what we or he are talking about, think Family Guy’s “cool hwip.” Grassroots activism, y’all. (Sorry, is that a microaggression?)

The Dartmouth upholds standards of journalism: confuses bananas for dildos

Since 1799, The Dartmouth has prided itself on a long and illustrious history of professional student journalism and a commitment to ethical, objective reporting. In keeping with these standards, the newspaper published a correction to its October 17th front-page article that called for an end to the Greek system at the college. While it’s reassuring to know that the paper is upfront about its editorial errors, it’s less reassuring to hear that someone mixed up a potassium-rich fruit with a pretty high-tech sex toy:

Our only question: ejaculating dildo?

(h/t @romenesko)

 

Dartmouth Sorority Sister Wants to Pack Heat


A Dartmouth student is creating national headlines by claiming that she will have to drop out unless she is allowed to carry a gun to protect herself from a stalker.

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Dartmouth prof doesn’t hold back

Following the Isla Vista shooting this week, Jeff Sharlet, Dartmouth English prof (and author, Harper’s contributing editor, etc.) took to Twitter to discuss the tragic event. Like others, he linked Elliot Rodger’s shooting to the pervasive destructiveness of misogyny. Unlike others, he compared Rodger to sexual assailants at Dartmouth:

We followed up with Sharlet for further explanation of the tweet’s idea, and he went in on both Rodger and rapists.

Rape and murder are different crimes, of course, but rape and Rodger’s decision to kill women seem to me likely rooted in the same pervasive misogyny, a sense of some or all women as less than human. I’m distressed by those who’d dismiss Rodger as nothing but a monstrous outlier. The logic of hate he took to its most extreme end is the same of that of the rapist, and, yes, of that of those who apologize for rapists. 

Dartmouth’s attempts to change their culture appear to be working, at least for the professors.

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‘Happy Video’ presents a lighter side to Dartmouth

Dartmouth’s been having a rough couple of months. Amidst the turmoil of Parker Gilbert’s sexual assault trial, student protests over the Freedom Budget, concerned alumni airing discriminatory grievances, and slipping application rates, it makes sense that the college’s students need a bit of a pick-me-up. However, this attempt to document “the positive side of Dartmouth” may come across as ironic to some — or maybe it’s just the song choice.

“Dartmouth College – Happy,” uploaded Monday night to YouTube and already boasting 35,000 views, shows over 100 students dancing around campus to Pharrell’s “Happy.” We’re not making this up; take a look for yourself below.

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“Enough is enough”: Dartmouth reformulates approach to campus life

Dartmouth has always been the problem child of the Ivy League, but President Hanlon’s summit last week on the “extreme behavior” plaguing the university is an unexpectedly candid admittance of the many toxic and harmful practices that characterize parts of student life on the Dartmouth campus. The school is notorious for its Greek life antics and threats of sexual violence on campus—the acquittal of Parker Gilbert, formerly D’16, now a former Dartmouth student, accused of raping a fellow classmate, has been the subject of nationwide media attention.

Hanlon’s summit (and accompanying op-ed in the Boston Globe) comes on the heels of an announcement about proposed changes to the College’s sexual assault policy. Read the rest of this entry »

“I characterize you as Dartmouth’s greatest mistake of all time”

In the January/February 2014 issue of Dartmouth Alumni Magazine, Abbye E. Meyer, D’02, wrote about her lasting issues with the Dartmouth community — namely the exclusivity inherent in the social structure of Greek houses and senior and secret societies.

Then on Valentine’s Day, Judge Quentin L. Kopp, D’49, got in the spirit of the holiday and wrote Meyer an ode, of sorts:

“You claim feelings of ‘…loyalty and shame.’ I am ashamed of you.”

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Ivies under attack for sexual assault policies

Ah, springtime at an Ivy: students descend on the quad, thesis writers emerge from their caves, and — best of all — high school seniors attack campus with naïveté, un-jaded excitement, and a myriad of questions all boiling down to: Can my host get me alcohol? Is this the school for me?

Columbia’s first Days on Campus program — prospective student visiting weekend — for the Class of 2018 began today. Prospies were treated with a beautiful spring day and  blue and white balloons blanketing College Walk. But they’re also getting another dose of classic Columbia: protests.

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DARTMOUTH: Students Sit In For The “Freedom Budget”

Occupy…Parkhurst?

At 4 p.m. this afternoon, about 35 Dartmouth students stormed President Phil Hanlon’s office and settled in for a protest. The idealistic group, who came armed with sleeping bags and pizza to wait out the night, was seeking a point-by-point response from the administration regarding last month’s Freedom Budget.

Freedom what?

Dartmouth Administrators Finally Respond to “Freedom Budget”

mmmmm

Here’s hoping it saves money for freedom fries.

After weeks of often extremely heated debate amongst students, Dartmouth College administrators finally released a statement responding to demands set out by the “Freedom Budget.”

“Diversity is one of the cornerstones of our academic community,” the statement, written by President Philip J. Hanlon and Interim Provost Martin Wybourne, (and as generic and vague as you can expect from college administrators) read. “We, as the administration, must engage in campus more effectively in current and future actions to achieve our shared vision for Dartmouth.”

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