Tommy Brothers, Dartmouth ‘11, came forward as the author of the incendiary email about President Jim Yong Kim in an email (kid loves to email) sent to the student body Friday afternoon. Brothers states:

I hope you can all understand that my intent was never one of malice against the Asian community, but an extremely crass attempt at hyperbolic satire. I was initially trying to criticize what I perceived to be surprise among many at the naming of an Asian-American President-Elect, Dr. Kim.

Brothers goes on to discuss all the ways people will make a big deal out of this for weeks to come:

I have started, along with the rest of the GGMM staff, to try to find ways that the whole community can learn from this experience. We are meeting with OPAL and the Pan-Asian Council to try to find a constructive strategy moving forward.

After the jump, Brothers promises to meet with you and help you heal, but only after finals. Read the rest of this entry »

Yesterday morning, Generic Good Morning Message (GGMM), a popular email update at Dartmouth commented on the selection of President Jim Yong Kim. The comments were racist as hell, and consequently made a lot of people very angry.  GGMM managed to pull out just about every Asian-directed xenophobic comment in the book.  Including saying of Dr. Kim’s election:

It was a complete supplies.

Oh yeah you can totally tell from Dr. Kim’s resume and his mission trips to Uganda that he definitely a super villain. Let’s not leave out the part where everyone in Asia—except the kids from Slumdog Millionaire, they will always live in the slums if the press have any say—works in a Chinese restaurant and steals jobs from white people with hands:

Unless “Jim Yong Kim” means “I love Freedom” in Chinese, I don’t want anything to do with him. Dartmouth is America, not Panda Garden Rice Village Restaurant.

Y’all get ready for an Asianification under the guise of diversity under the actual Malaysian-invasion leadership instituted under the guise of diversity. It’s a slippery slope we are on. I for one want Democracy and apple pie, not Charlie Chan and the Curse of the Dragon Queen.

Read the email’s full text along with an “explanation” offered by Dartmouth’s Office of Pluralism and Leadership—cough, sucks at their jobs, cough—after the jump.

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A tipster directs us to this particularly charming yarn in the current Freshman Issue of the Dartmouth Review, in which pseudonymous writer Preston Q. R. Primrose regales us with his Penthouse Forum-esque quest for the “Real Dartmouth Seven.” He of course means sex: “a licentious visit to the seven sororities” all in one night. Allow us to recap.

Much like Odysseus, “Preston” and his “bros” kick off the evening by pregaming in the basement. Luckily, within an hour and a half a KDE senior booty-calls our young hero. By his own timeline, eight minutes after getting said text he has scored “one down, six to go.” This is a red flag that maybe we have an attempt at satire on our hands, kids, because… eight minutes (remember! that includes travel time and foreplay)? Is that really the example we want to set for the freshmen?
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It’s not only Ivy League students who love plagiarizing. Sometimes even the White House gets involved. But White House aides don’t plagiarize from just anyone! Nope, they get their source material from our right-wing buddies at the Dartmouth Review!

Timothy S. Goeglein, President Bush’s chief liaison to religious groups, has admitted to plagiarizing a column he wrote for the Fort Wayne (Ind.) News-Sentinel. 

“It is true,” Tim Goeglein wrote to The Journal Gazette in an e-mail. “I am entirely at fault. It was wrong of me. There are no excuses.” I guess Zac Townsend and his Brown cohort can sleep easier now.

According to the Washington Post, Goeglein “previously worked closely with Karl Rove and during the 2004 election was Bush’s chief emissary to conservative political groups.” Oh, how I tremble with glee! William F. Buckley would be shamed. Shamed!

Goeglein’s column:

A notable professor of philosophy at Dartmouth College in the last century, Eugene Rosenstock-Hussey, expressed the matter succinctly. His wisdom is not only profound but also worth pondering in this new century. He said, “The goal of education is to form the Citizen. And the Citizen is a person who, if need be, can re-found his civilization.”

He meant that, I think, in quite a large sense. He did not mean that you had to master all the specialties you can think of,

Jeffrey Hart in The Dartmouth Review:

A notable Professor of Philosophy at Dartmouth, Eugene Rosenstock-Hussey often expressed the matter succinctly, “The goal of education,” he would say, “is to form the Citizen. And the Citizen is a person who, if need be, can re-found his civilization.”

He meant that in quite large a sense. He did not mean that you had to master all the specialties you can think of.

After the jump: more similarities.

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The editors of the Dartmouth Review may have said they’re sorry (sort of) yesterday. But if editor-in-chief Dan Linsalata ‘07 is really interested in burying the hatche–er, smoothing things over, he might want to see about changing the poorly chosen advertisements that are still up on the paper’s official site. (That one on the right actually doesn’t rotate in with the others; we’re not sure why.)