Man Stabbed at Popular Cornell Bar

A man was stabbed this past Thursday at Ithaca’s Level B bar, otherwise known as the place Cornell students go to drink $18 fishbowls every Wednesday night. The Ithaca police who encountered the victim reported that he was “stabbed in the torso area,” and was brought to a regional trauma center. There was no information shared on whether the victim — or the suspect, for that matter — is a University affiliate.

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Ivies under attack for sexual assault policies

Ah, springtime at an Ivy: students descend on the quad, thesis writers emerge from their caves, and — best of all — high school seniors attack campus with naïveté, un-jaded excitement, and a myriad of questions all boiling down to: Can my host get me alcohol? Is this the school for me?

Columbia’s first Days on Campus program — prospective student visiting weekend — for the Class of 2018 began today. Prospies were treated with a beautiful spring day and  blue and white balloons blanketing College Walk. But they’re also getting another dose of classic Columbia: protests.

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Cornell doesn’t like April Fools’

peel it back

Peel back.

Down at the bottom of this morning’s Bit of News rundown of stories, they included one headline different from the others:

Tiger goes after senators. Four senators are mauled by a tiger in front of a live Congressional session.”

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Cornell Prez Heading Out

Cornell President David Skorton, who has held the position since 2006, was named the 13th Secretary of the Smithsonian Institute. He will be the first physician in charge at the Smithsonian. Skorton’s shipping out from Ithaca at the end of the next school year, starting at the Institute in July 2015—so he’ll be around for Cornell’s sesquicentennial (150, guys).

Skorton got to Cornell with a bang in 2006, living in a freshman dorm and getting his own ice cream flavor. He was, by all accounts, a jazzy dude. In the seriousness realm, he’s tried ending hazing and scored Cornell its very own NYC tech campus.

We can’t imagine why Skorton would want to leave Cornell (OK we can, it’s because Ithaca), but in this last year we hope to see an increase in jazz shows and idealism. If you catch Skorton up to anything fun, drop us a line.

JUST SAY YES, YOU’RE MAKING US ALL LOOK BAD

This week on the venerable HuffPost Live, user “gaydood” asked a hard-hitting question: “is sex better at better universities?” Rather than making the correct response of “yes of course! So much good sex all the time always forever!” participants Donny J. of Cornell and Margot Harris of Brown succeeded in perpetuating the Ivy League image of nerds clumsily bumping uglies. They grew immediately uncomfortable and tried passing the question off to each other, with Harris finally claiming she didn’t have enough experience with other schools to have a particular theory. Thanks a ton, guys.

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Cornell Spring Celebrations Rescheduled: “It’s Terrible!”

Senior Days? Say it ain’t so.

This year’s Cornell seniors will have less to celebrate come May. Slope Day, historically held on the last day of classes (and typically a Friday), has been moved to the Thursday after the last class day. Senior Week, meanwhile, has been converted into a 3-day mini-celebration dubbed “Senior Days.”

This spring semester will be different, resulting from some scheduling changes initiated in 2012. The university has recognized MLK Day as a holiday, a short “winter break” has been introduced with the Monday and Tuesday of Presidents Week off, and spring break has been pushed back to the first week of April. These changes were made in an attempt to split the semester into thirds, ostensibly easing pressure and lessening stress for students. However, the major result is that the last day of classes is a week later on a Wednesday, rather than the usual late April/early May Friday.

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Cornell Senior Arrested, Charged With First Degree Rape

After an “extensive investigation,” police have arrested Cornell senior Peter Mesko, a member of the school’s wrestling team, The Cornell Daily Sun reports. Mesko was arrested in response to an unnamed female’s complaint that a man entered her room at 5 a.m. on Saturday and raped her. According to The Sun,

 “The woman told police that an unfamiliar individual entered her bedroom and engaged in sexual intercourse with her ‘without her knowledge or consent, as she was soundly sleeping at the time.’”

In New York State, first degree rape is defined as sexual intercourse with another person by forcible compulsion or [with someone] incapable of consent by reason of being physically helpless.” First degree rape is a class B felony in New York, and if found guilty, Mesko could face 25 years in prison.

Cornell Cam Girl Is Back (But Not On Campus)

Remember the woman who was filming pornographic videos in Cornell libraries? Well, HyperVocal reported yesterday that she returned to do an unannounced live cam show Wednesday, after several months of apparent inactivity. After the news of her Ivy League exploits broke in October, the woman deactivated her Twitter account and removed the videos from the Internet.

According to HyperVocal, the woman was asked during Wednesday’s show about filming in the Cornell libraries. She apparently refused to address the videos, saying only that “it would never happen again.”

Sorry Cornell, now you really have nothing to get you through that next month of winter.

Three Cornell Fraternities Suspended For ‘Serious Hazing’

Cornell announced tonight that three fraternities have been placed on suspension following “credible allegations” of hazing. According to a university press release, Chi Psi is now on suspended status for “serious hazing,” and both Sigma Nu and Delta Phi (known as Llenroc) are on interim suspension for “serious physical hazing.” The release reads:

  • As of Feb. 28 the Chi Psi fraternity has been placed on suspended status by the national headquarters of the fraternity, as a result of credible allegations of serious hazing. All chapter activities must be approved by the national organization and Cornell’s Office of Fraternities, Sororities and Independent Living before they can proceed.
  • As of Feb. 28 the Sigma Nu fraternity has been placed by Cornell and the national headquarters of the fraternity on interim suspension status, as a result of credible allegations of serious physical hazing.
  • As of March 1 the Delta Phi (Llenroc) fraternity also has been placed by Cornell on interim suspension status, as a result of credible allegations of serious physical hazing.

The Cornell administration seems to be taking the “glass is half full” approach to the suspensions, stressing how lucky they are to have students who turned in these fraternities. Always look on the bright side guys.

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A Cornell Student Pulled A Mike Tyson During Late Night Brawl Outside A Food Truck

A Cornell sophomore channeled everyone’s favorite face-tattooed boxer last night, allegedly biting the ear of another student during a fight, The Cornell Sun reports. The ear assault took place outside Louie’s Lunch, a food truck on Cornell’s North Campus, which was closed at the time.

It is unclear whether the nature of the assault biting and the location were coincidental, or the students just got a little too hungry and impatient. As one Sun commenter so perfectly put it, When Louie’s is closed, you’ve got to eat something.”

Mini Mike Tyson has been identified by The Sun as Conor Goetz, who was charged with assault in the third degree. If convicted, Goetz could face up to a year in prison.