Now introducing Craigslist of the Young and Restless, featuring the classified needs, desires, and no-fee-sublets of the Ivy League.

We always assumed Brown was the horniest Ivy, whatwith SexPowerGod and all that free-loving, unshaved hippie-crotch stuff. But Cornell — repressed frat boy of the Ivy League — is on the verge of claiming Brown's Horndog Crown for itself, one anonymous Craigslist Casual Encounters listing at a time.

When we last saw Ithaca's Casual Encounters, this chick was tirelessly trying to start an orgy, and the Sun was working a sting operation on pervy professors. This week, Orgy Girl is back and looking to found a "Sex Club":

So Harvard has one, Yale too and Brown invented it....so why shouldn't we have one too? So the idea is quite simply a club whose goal is the connect people who share the common interest of, well, sex and other delightful acts.

We're pretty sure she has confused the LGBT Alliance with a swingers' club. (Just because "homosexual" and "bisexual" have the word "sex" in them does not mean they're interested in double-teaming you, O.G.) Even Converso Virium doesn't claim to engage in anything more than titillating conversation. Then again, you never know when some boring inter-collegiate organization like the Ivy Council is going to flip the switch and turn into a key party.

After the jump: Cornell's $300 foot fetishist alludes to Erica Jong, and a virgin seeks deflowering. Read the rest of this entry »

• Columbia: Brinkley no longer wants to be provost, prefers to teach, thanks.

• Columbia: Smackdown between begging bum and freshman girl proves that perhaps Take Back The Night is not as lame as we anti-feminists pretend

• Columbia:  Shakira and Sachs on stage together, still visually pleasing even if you studied French

• Cornell:  Transfer students marginalized, secretly wish they had transfered somewhere else

• Cornell:  "He laughed his ass off while I shook my eye-tits to and fro."

• Yale:  A cappella groups slapped, not tapped

• Harvard: Comp sci kid attacks and batters cops (three times!), is subsequently arrested
• Cornell: Feel bad about yourselves Um, no idea why this showed up on the Daily Sun's front page this morning (really, it did).  This editor feels like an ass.
• Cornell: But ironically, a similar (and current) version of the same as above.
  
• Columbia: Revisiting ROTC policy causes student groups to squabble, ignore bigger issue at hand

Here's yet another reason for all you smug Princeton bastards to gloat:  A group of college bashers over at Radar released a "semiscientific" (aka they bs'ed it like we all bs'ed our bio lab reports) guide to what they're calling the worst colleges in America.  The only problem?  They've got some not-so-bad colleges on this list, namely Harvard and Cornell.

Harvard is no doubt blushing crimson from winning the title of "Most Overrated College In America."  The article goes on to bludgeon Harvard's over-enthusiasm for giving out awards, honors, high grades and newspaper editorships.  I was skeptical at this point, until I got to the next paragraph, which recounted "A mysterious scabies-like infestation last fall left freshmen scrambling out of their dorms and into Harvard Yard, dirty sheets in tow."  Does it make me a soulless and bitter Barnard girl if I snorted into my coffee?  But that wasn't all Radar had to say about Harvard:  apparently most Harvard students graduate with undeserved honors, but when it comes to making sexy time, they stipulate that the student body is vastly underserved.  Check out the article (click the above image) for more Harvard-Hate.

What's the only thing worse than being named "Most Overrated College In America?"  I dunno, how about being named "runner up?"  Poor Cornell!  Must you always be a runner up to Harvard (kidding, sort of)?  Emphatic yes, if Radar has anything to say about it, since they levy one lame "Cornell isn't a real Ivy" joke after another, and then decide to go balls out with the claim that (according to collegeprowler.com), "Cornell is also home to the ugliest girls in the Ivy League—and that's saying something."  Ouch!  So...does anyone else find it ironic that Cornell's campus just gained a Playboy rep?

Last year the Daily Princetonian caught China's Renmin University using an unauthorized rub-off of Princeton University's homepage web design. Today an intrepid reader tips us off to another eery homepage similarity, between Jinan University (also in China) and Cornell's homepage.

Some will argue creative dishonesty; others, cultural relativity; still others, feigned and/or apologetic innocence (at least, that is how we imagine the Jinan folks will react). All I know is, if it's the same copycat mentality that enables 50-cent bootlegs in Chinatown, it's fine by me.

Full-size screenshots for your comparative pleasure, here and here.

In a move perfectly designed to conjure "Animal House" jokes, James E. Wright, President of Dartmouth College, signed the Amethyst Initiative. This petition, introduced this summer by John McCardell, President Emeritus of Middlebury College, is designed to "reopen public debate over the drinking age." So far 129 college and university presidents have added their John Hancocks to this measure to curb binge drinking by maybe getting kids to start drinking earlier.

Though Dartmouth is the only Ivy on a list of signatories that includes schools as disparate as Hampshire College, Duke University and SUNY Purchase, UPenn President Amy Gutmann agrees the drinking age should be lowered to 18. Why didn't she sign the petition? The Daily Pennsylvanian will answer that:

Gutmann did not sign the initiative because she has not seen conclusive evidence confirming its claim that the higher drinking age causes increased levels of binge drinking

So why is Gutmann in favor of lowering the drinking age, if not to stop young people from drinking? Well, Gutmann--by way of the Daily Pennsylvanian--believes in a little thing called freedom.

It is "unrealistic" to expect people who can vote and serve in the military "not to be able to take a drink," says Penn President Amy Gutmann

After the jump, Cornell President David Skorton refuses to sign for no articulated reason.

Read the rest of this entry »

Cornell erected a fence blocking access to the popular Fall Creek Gorge swimming hole earlier this week. The fence is part of the university's reaction to rising sophomore Doug Lowe's tragic death at the beginning of the summer. While not enough students are around to get angry about their swimming hole being closed, Cornell blog MetaEzra is up in arms.

The policy may seem reasonable when taken at face value, but you have to realize the University is reneging on a tradition of openness and responsibility that has lasted for close to one hundred and fifty years. If I am getting up in arms about the development, it is because I see the fencing as a symbol for what is being lost on Cornell's campus -- Cornell's very soul.

This must have been a really sweet swimming hole. MetaEzra's Matthew Nagowski goes on to explain the difference between a Cornell education and whatever it is you get over at other schools.

Cornell has never been an institution of in loco parentis and as a former Cornell professor of mine (now at Michigan State) once so aptly put it, if I wanted my hand held for four years I would have attended Williams or Notre Dame.

Are you calling into question the manly character of Williams, the manliest of the northeastern liberal arts colleges? Oh, this will not stand, Nagowski! After the jump, Cornell explains the reasoning behind the fence.

Read the rest of this entry »

Welcome to judgment day, Ivy Leaguers, where we find out whether the grassy quadrangles encased by your school’s iron gates are a heaven or a hell. So gather round, because I’ve got the results hot off the press from The Princeton Review’s The Best 368 Colleges 2009. Gems from this Compendium of All Things Safety School after the jump.

Read the rest of this entry »

If you're anything like us, you've found that in-room hotel dining is intolerably tedious. In the time that it takes for the Filet to reach our penthouse suite, we've usually changed our mind completely, requiring us to send our  hapless hotel attendant back to the kitchen for some cold shrimp or what have you. Thankfully, it seems that Cornell, well admired for its top flight Hotel Management school, has produced some athletes of appropriate speed and stamina to meet our rigorous demands.

While most of you were at home masturbating to patriotic music videos on YouTube this 4th of July weekend, some Cornellians were running very quickly in races, with the apparent goal of competing in the Olympics. While you couldn't pay me to travel to Red China, these kids put in an exceptional effort at the US and Canadian Olympic Trials. Morgan Uceny, Cornell ’07, finished a close fourth in the 1500 meter run, Muhammad Halim of the class of ’08 managed 10th in the triple jump, and Adam Seabrook, also ’08, was fifth in the 400 hurdles. Seabrook is Canadian, however, and should therefore be ignored.

While none of these speed-gifted young people actually qualified for the Olympics (Cornell never really wins, does it?) we salute their shiny shorts nonetheless. All that running will come in handy, after all, when the elevator at the St. Regis is broken and we need that 2 a.m. bottle of Cristal now.

It's a truth universally acknowledged that, with the exception of, like, Bob Jones University, institutions of higher education are generally more progressive than the world outside their gates. But all the idealistic hippie students who came of age in the '60s and later became idealistic hippie professors are now retiring. The younger professors replacing them still disproportionately vote Democratic, but they are "less ideologically polarized and more politically moderate": 17.2% of the 50-64 age group define themselves as "liberal activists," versus 1.3% of professors 35 and younger. Sara Goldrick-Rab, a 31-year-old professor, told the New York Times, "My generation is not so ideologically driven" and the article credits the rise of civil discourse over fractious infighting. Read the rest of this entry »