Ivy Newspapers Brilliantly Urge Freshmen to “Enjoy” Their “Lives”

by Jim Newell | September 4, 2007 at 1:38 pm

Ivy Newspapers Brilliantly Urge Freshmen to "Enjoy" Their "Lives"We've already brought you some of the Class of 2011's incredible exploits. Yet there's something infinitely worse than pre-frosh acting dumb: upperclassmen who deign to give freshmen advice in campus newspapers. Year after year, we are subjected to the selfsame verbal diarrhea as semi-nostalgic upperclass columnists blow smoke up their own asses.

These advices employ a time-old formula of mixing general banalities with college-specific banalities, i.e., "you have such wonderful opportunities at [school] and should totally take advantage of [local record shop or bar in town]."

After the jump, a round-up of the inane "wisdom" to which the Class of 2011 is being so cruelly subjected.

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