Come On Guys: Columbia Theta Throws Stereotype Themed Party

ugghhhh not again

Team Mexico via Bwog

Last night, Columbia University’s Theta sorority celebrated what looks like a good ol’ stereotype-filled Beer Olympics. Groups of girls dressed up as Mexican, German, Japanese, Dutch, French, and Jamaican, according to pictures obtained by Bwog and the Columbia Spectator. Bwog notes that the mixer was held in SigEp–though no pictures of the young men have surfaced yet–and should have been registered with the administration, per Columbia Greek life policies.

At this point you’d think these young women would know better than to participate in a culturally appropriative theme…or at least to not post the damn pictures all over Facebook and Instagram for all to see and screenshot.

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How To Get Into Columbia

just like this

Your dorm room during that month you were a “DJ”

Ever wonder what Columbia University admissions officers are looking for in your application essay? Wonder no more!

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Naked Girls In The Columbia Library

There’s just something about porn and Ivy League libraries. First there was the camgirl in Cornell’s Law Library and now Columbia’s Butler Library plays host to a very NSFW art film called “Initiation.” Sorry, INITIATIØN.

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Rookie Mistake: Never Apologize

“Mmm, yeah. Who runs this show? That’s right, baby, you do.”

It’s one thing to have every major campus news site allude to your selfish actions. It’s another to stand up and attempt to justify yourself. And that’s just what Uchechi Iteogu, C’15, did.

For the second year in a row, Iteogu used her positions of power as an RA and class VP to score nominations for Columbia’s King’s Crown Leadership and Excellence Award, which recognizes students with “outstanding leadership to their community/ies with exemplary commitment and energy.” In an email to her RA floor last year, she asked residents to “PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE nominate me for the King’s Crown Leadership Award!”

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Academics… They Fight About Books in Comment Threads!

Adams’s Facebook post

“If there was anything Adams could learn from having a child with Down syndrome, she hasn’t learned it yet.”

That’s the second to last line of Cristina Nehring’s utterly vicious review of Columbia English professor Rachel Adams’s Raising Henry: A Memoir of Motherhood, Disability, and Discovery. Merits of the book notwithstanding (I haven’t read it), Nehring takes obvious pleasure in turning a cruel phrase. Nehring depicts Adams as a narcissistic, selfish mother to a son with Downs syndrome; she unfavorably compares Adams to herself, who has a daughter with Downs syndrome.

Read it for yourself, in the Chronicle of Higher Education.

After the review went up, Nehring sounded the horn: she wrote to an international Down syndrome email listserv for support in the comment section. (A commenter quotes Nehring from there: “I confess that if you felt like throwing yourself into the fray to comment, I’d be touched and grateful.”) In response, Adams posted the above on her Facebook page, calling upon her friends to “please comment in my defense!”

And it was on: a comment thread of academics pseudonymously carping at one another. Read the rest of this entry »

Drama: A Do-Over for the 119th Annual Varsity Show?

“A tradition of drama, satire, and Columbia spirit”—that’s our annual Varsity Show. At its best, it critically and cohesively ties off one year in Morningside Heights. At its worst, it delivers three hours of dull one-liners that reduce to, “Ha, ha! We go to Columbia, too!”

Broad consensus on campus is that V118—two shows ago—was the former.  V119—last year’s—was the latter. Read the rest of this entry »

The Only College Confidential Post You Should Ever Read

Subject line: “Athlete Going to Columbia–Is Columbia Fun and Preppy!” Behold:

Hi

I am pretty sure that I am going to Columbia for crew next year, and I am very excited to be in NYC, but I come from a super traditional and preppy boarding school, and I actually love that lifestyle, and don’t want to lose that in college. I get that Columbia is a cultural melting pot filled with incredibly smart people from all over the world, and I totally appreciate that, and that is one of the reasons I like Columbia, so I can open my horizons.

BUT… I have grown up in a preppy environment my whole life, and some of you might say that I am an elitist, but I love the tradition, the lifestyle, the community, the clothing, and the education. I want to make sure that I am still getting part of that experience that I love and have grown up around.

I don’t want to be the only person dressed in hunter rainboots and a barbour wanting to go to a kegger party, and I don’t want to have to deal with a bunch of intellectuals chain smoking cigarettes on the Lower steps 24/7. This is a little silly, but I also want to make sure that there are boys I can date here that share at least some of the things that are important to me…

thanks!

To the author, username abullock: they’re called the Low Steps. And—please—pick another school.

Columbia Athletics: So Bad They’ll Pay You to Go to a Game

We few, we happy few

Columbia football is not good. Three weeks into the season, they have lost three times: to Fordham (52-7), to Monmouth (37-14), and to Princeton (53-7).

This weekend, the Lions are slated to lose to Lehigh. More of the same, right?

Wrong. This one’s gonna be aired nationally, on NBC. So that’ll be pretty humiliating. (Maybe not as humiliating as going on NBC for hate crime arrests and questionable tweets, but still). But, the athletic department reasons—if we must lose at home on national TV, we should at least do it with stands that aren’t quite so empty as usual.

Accordingly, athletics is trying something that CU has done before, with middling success: bribing Columbia students to be, well, more normal.

To that end, Columbia is offering two $1,000 prizes: one “to the student group that brings the most students” and the other “to the most spirited student group.” The administration also included a helpful tip for Columbia students unfamiliar with how sports fandom works: “bring signs and wear Columbia apparel.”

We’ll see how many hungover Columbia students drag out the Columbia tee they haven’t worn since high school and make it up to 218th street by noon. Since we can’t have a fair bet over the game: over/under 15 students for the winning group?

[Stands via @ColumbiaLionsFB]

Glub Glub Glub: Yes, there is indeed a St. A’s Tub

434 Riverside Drive.

St. Anthony Hall is Columbia’s semi-secret society for the uninteresting children of interesting—or rich—people. No surprise there. (Thomas Pynchon’s son got a tap; the father of last year’s president is a managing director at Goldman Sachs.) The society’s membership is a secret, if a loosely kept one. Read the rest of this entry »

Columbia Class of 2017 Post Their Application Essays, Say The Darndest Things

For many people, the college essay is the hardest part of their application, as they seek to define themselves in 500 words or less for a faceless committee of admissions officers. The Columbia Class of 2017, though, has given us an inside look at what exactly it takes to be part of the 6.89 percent to win entry to the school this year. A tipster recently directed us to a Google Drive folder in which newly admitted Columbians are posting their application essays for their peers to see. And, thankfully, they left it public.

Topics range from the deeply personal, to the seemingly mundane, to the blatantly ridiculous. We’ve included a list of some of the more notable entries below; feel free to categorize them yourself:

  • The sub-prime mortgage crisis, told as a tortoise and hare allegory (“There are regulators at every mile to ensure the hare plays by the rules established by the Security Enforcement Commission.”)
  • Sketching a nude model for the first time (“As the model stepped out of her robe, I felt unsettled and self-conscious. I was scared. Where was I supposed to look? Was I ready for this?”)
  • Arrested Development getting renewed (“So ‘Arrested Development’ is the epitome of all things—good, bad, or ironic—coming to inevitable conclusions.”)
  • Imagining literary lunch dates with fictional characters (“Generally, my peers don’t understand my compulsion to inhabit the worlds I read, or my overactive imagination’s ability to project those worlds into its own reality.”)

However, some of the essays deserve a closer examination. Here are our personal favorites:

The IvyGate award for “Most Original Essay (For Better Or Worse)” goes to a mock script of a conversation between the applicant, musical theater heavyweight Oscar Hammerstein II (Columbia Class of 1919), and composer Tom Kitt (Columbia Class of 1996). The alums lead our author on a journey of self-discovery as he finds that, yes, he should pursue his dreams and doggone it, people like him. Here are the opening lines, which subtly set the scene for the author’s insecurity:

Hammerstein: Ok, kid. You’ve seen the school. Now what?
Noah: (HE knew this was coming) I—I really don’t know…Major in Drama and
Psychology or choose something safe…Economics?
Kitt: (Bombastic as always) Oh cut the crap, why don’t ya? You worked your ass off for years to get to this point, and now you finally have; if you get in, you’d have all the resources you could possibly want—
Noah: (Frantically) BUT, I don’t know how to use them. I don’t know how to use them or what to do with them. Musical Theater is my life; I love it more than anything else I’ve ever done. To be up on the stage—the songs—the emotion…but as a career?
Hammerstein: Kid, breathe. Pursue it.
Noah: But that’s easier said than done! It’s just so—so…
Kitt: (Like the Hindenburg, exploding) Christ! SPIT IT OUT!
Noah: …Hard. Read the rest of this entry »