Six months ago, Sex and the Ivy's Lena Chen and significant other Patrick Hamm (H'GS, Y'04) were embroiled in a scintillating S&M scandal. Now they're just another monogamous yuppie couple photoshopping pictures of their dog into Christmas cards.

Kind of sweet, isn't it? Soon they'll be living in a big beige house in the suburbs with a parcel of precociously intelligent children who attend Waldorf schools and spend weekends figure skating in the ice rinks of Hell. Seriously, whodathunk Lena Chen would settle down before graduation? Note that the above slutty Santa ensemble is not the same one Lena wore last year.

from: Maureen
to: Lena Chen
subject: Re: Happy Holidays!

How many slutty Santa outfit do you own??

from: Lena Chen
to: Maureen
subject: Re: Re: Happy Holidays!

Three!!!

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Yalies are really into their Christmas penises. We're not so sure why.  Another tipster writes in:

Well, in response to your story of today about Yale's lights, the freshman in JE amended the message on the side of Farnam to be more accurate, rearranging a few lights here and there. ES is the acronym for Ezra Stiles college, the one that....erected the original display. ES and JE apparently agree on something - ES sucks cock!"

'Tis the season for many things, including giant electric penises. 

A tipster writes in: 

Last night, between 10pm and 3am, the freshmen of the Ezra Stiles college at Yale constructed a massive christmas light penis on the front of Lawrance as a response to the traditional christmas light "JE SUX" written across the front of Farnum, the adjacent dorm. The penis was estimated to be about 100 feet long, and even sported multi-colored, blinking ejaculate. The penis will ostensibly remain on Lawrance through the end of finals (next week)."

Argh! All this Yale geography is confusing me! I think the point is that ever since Father Time first came around, Yale students have been writing "JE SUX" on one of their buildings to the chagrin of other Yale students. Thankfully the war has apparently escalated into an epic battle of electric penises, which is far more satisfying for the rest of us.

After the jump: the electric penis ejaculates all over Harvard. More pictures.

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