Daniyar Nazarbayev had a dream. During those lonely nights on the plains of Kazakhstan, he would look into the stars and pray for admission into America's Ivy League. And then, according to a suit he filed Monday against a high-profile New York college admissions consultant, he got plaaaaayed.

Nazarbayev claims that his family wired Robert Shaw, co-founder and partner of strategic college admissions firm Ivy Success, $200,000 after Shaw "gave assurances the fee would cover a 'complete strategy program' for admission to a 'top-tier American university.'" Then, according to the suit, Shaw was all like, peace out:

Shaw, following an initial meeting with Nazarbayev, informed a family representative that "Daniyar is not Ivy League material," the suit said. Rather than offer a refund, the company "retained the funds and simply left Daniyar to his own efforts," the suit added.

This reminds me of middle school lunches where I would offer someone my sandwich for their fries, and they would give me their fries first and I'd say "You are not sandwich material. I am going to retain the fries and leave you to your own efforts." But I never got sued. Over that.

We ran Shaw through the system to see what he's all about. Before Ivy Success he was an admissions officer at Penn, also his alma mater. IvyGate tried to contact Ivy Success, but they have no phone number, e-mail or address listed on the website. Just this form thingy. Go Quakers!

As for Nazarbayev, he still got into his first choice, Columbia, and will start in the fall. He has no Facebook profile as of yet, so we're not sure which side he'll take in the ongoing War of the '11s.

The Kazakhstani wunderkind, with Ivy admission safely secured, simply wants bygones to be bygones:

The plaintiff, Daniyar Nazarbayev, "just wants his money back," attorney Sam Israel said Tuesday.

There's your attempted Borat joke.

--JIM NEWELL