Losing Teeth at the Hockey Frat: Dartmouth’s Police Blotter is Back

by Alex Howe | April 3, 2009 at 6:18 pm

05-wateringholeThe D’s peerless police blotter is back for spring in its usual trifoliate glory: animals, townies, and reckless intoxication.

Did you know there are BEARS in Hanover? They ate someone’s bird feeder, presumably jealous of human kindness toward animals that can’t eat us. Inexplicably, the woman “claimed that the bears had just come out of hibernation.” Are you sure? God, she must be an explainer. Worse than man hands, promise.

Elsewhere, a female Dartmouth student lost a tooth at a party “after she fell face first onto the concrete floor.” Not charged with anything because she’s of age, the young woman can only wonder why the irony-obsessed god of mishap chose to punish her: she lost the tooth at Heorot, the hockey frat. Imitation is flattery, boys.

After the jump: pizza, existential confusion, and the full blotter.

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