“Turn or burn,” you sodomizing, Obama-worshipping, drug-addled Yale students!

So warns Jesse Morrell, the 25-year old mini-preacher who has descended on the fair streets of New Haven, spitting fire and brimstone, and railing against good old-fashioned Ivy League debauchery. For the past few days, Yale—famed for its freshman-girl objectification skillz, abortion art projects, naked parties, and special fondness for gay sex—has played a sassy host to the madman, decked out in a sandwich board and asking passersby to friend him on Facebook.

Asked if he has a day job, Morrell responds:

Jesus sends me money through PayPal.

Regarding his sexuality:

I love a man whose blood isn’t HIV-positive: Jesus!

Regarding Yale’s classy young ladies:

Why would you open a brothel in New Haven when the sorority girls are giving it away for free?!

Can you believe this guy’s a virgin?? Also, FYI, he claims to have forgone masturbation since his rebirth into Christianity. That explains a lot. Video, pics and homoeroticism after the jump.

Editor’s Note: This post was originally published under the wrong name. The snarky prose is actually that of Alex Klein, a new contributor, not Adam Clark Estes, a handsome fellow.

Read the rest of this entry »

The profoundly self-obsessed must be truly profound to catch our attention. Recently, in New Haven, profundity has once again reached a high—or low, depending on how you look at it—in Yale’s Movement for Beauty and Justice. Mission statement: Beautiful people are fucking awesome!

Our society is in a state of crisis. Political and social structures have disregarded the collective implications of our individual actions for too long. We live in a world of inequality, social injustice, and conflict.

We believe that promoting the proliferation, creation, and realization of diverse forms of beauty in the world will unite humanity and lead to a more just society.

Founders Justine Kolata and Ric Hernández ‘11 are pictured to the right. (At least their bunnies, “Beauty” and “Justice,” somehow have the good sense to hide their faces.)

The Movement for BJ [our own abbreviation] seems straight out of Elle Woods’s HLS admissions video, but perhaps it’s something more?

After the jump, the mission of what should be called The Movement for Butterflies and Pajama Bottoms and Cupcakes and Snugglebumblywumpsies.

Read the rest of this entry »

Looks like the Iranian president himself, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, will be speaking at Columbia this Friday, the Spectator reports. Gotta love that First Amendment, huh? If his remarks at the United Nations yesterday were any indication, he plans a rousing disquisition on how the Holocaust never happened. (You wanna handle this one, Mazower?) No word yet on whether the president’s popped collar (see above) will make an appearance.

But here’s the weirdest part: Columbia President Lee Bollinger doesn’t seem to know who invited him! “I happen to find many of President Ahmadinejad’s stated beliefs to be repugnant, a view that I’m sure is widely shared within our university community,” Bollinger told Spec.

Bollinger also said he wasn’t sure the university could accomodate him on such short notice. Gotta love them First Amendment loopholes, huh?

UPDATE 8:48 a.m.: A new version of the story says the dean of the international relations school sent the invite, apparently without consulting her boss. Love it!

Is Charles Nesson the William Shatner of academia? No one’s really sure why he’s still around, but we dare not question it. Nesson’s greatest hits are too many to detail here: Just know that the man they called “Billion Dollar Charlie” in A Civil Action, who boasted to students that he always smoked reefer before teaching, who once built a class around the O.J. Simpson case so successful Judge Ito asked his students for legal briefs … this man may have finally topped himself.

Nesson’s latest idea is so batshit insane, it just might work. He’s teaching a class through Second Life, the online 3-D social universe in which desperate people interact with other desperate people. (Which means, by definition, most law students already have accounts.) It’s like The Sims, but with moot court and office hours.

Here’s the genius promo video for the class. Note (as if they’re possible to miss) Nesson’s CHiPs-style motorcycle entrance, the absolutely stunning Christopher Walken speech patterns, and the fact that he’s lopped a minimum 40 years of aging off his digital persona. Daughter Rebecca Nesson makes an appearance as a butterfly — Jesus, just watch: